(Zane POV)
"Do you think I am doing that well, Ms. Janelle?"
"Zane, you looked at my private journal, didn't you?" She raised a brow.
"What? I didn't!"
"By your defensiveness, I can already tell."
"Fine, I'm sorry but you also shouldn't leave your journal wide open like that. You know that curiosity gets the better of me sometimes."
"Touché"
"By the way, if you're allergic to chocolate pecan cake, why are taking it home with you?" I asked.
"My flatmate is obsessed with sweets so I figured it would be best if I give it to her so your hardwork won't go to waste."
"That's so thoughtful of you, Ms. Janelle."
"Call me Janney or Jan. Just don't 'Ms. Janelle' me. You make it sound like I am an old librarian."
"Librarians are smart, you know?"
"Did I say anything?"
"No, but you make it sound like librarians are miserable widows."
"Whatever. Anyway, what brings you here?" She asked.
"I have just gotten this uneasiness recently. You know the feeling when you aren't so sure with what the future holds for you? There is just so many uncertainties."
"Uncertainties with what, particularly?" She asked.
"With graduation, college, culinary school, you know, all sorts."
"Zane, if I worry about the time of my death, do you think that will help with my mental health and activities? Do you think that if I worry about my parents discovering my real sexual orientation, it will help with the tasks at hand? Life is too short to mope around, Zane. Second, you are the one in charge of your destiny. As long as you truly want it and you keep on chasing it, you can even surpass the goal that you have set for yourself. Lastly, you have nothing to worry about. Trust me, based solely on the desserts that you're selling here in school, there's no reason why you should doubt yourself."
I feel a "Chesire cat" grin forming on my face immediately.
"Also…don't let this get in your head." She added.
"I won't, Janelle."
"Anything else I should know about?" She asked.
"If I become a successful pastry chef or dessert maker, you would get desserts at my stores for free."
"I would love that." She smiled.
--
"What'd she say?" Sasha asked as she walked with me down the hall.
"Nothing, she basically told me that I have nothing to worry about."
"You see. You worry too much. Gosh, Zane! You know something?"
"Yeah?"
"I think you need to get laid."
"Sash!!!" I basically screamed after hearing the revolting thing she just said.
"Zane, you should consider it. I mean, it's part of high school life."
"How can I do it with someone if I don't even have a boyfriend?"
"Kurt Walters can be an option."
"What?! He's straight though."
Sasha's eyes then wandered around to see if there are a lot of people around. She then pulled me to her so she can whisper something.
"Alright, not a lot of people are aware but I heard that he's actually bisexual and he's into twinks like you. Also, he's having a party next Tuesday. We should come and take this as a chance to get closer to him. I am sure he wouldn't mind if you're there since you are the one who made his cookies."
A part of me got excited because I felt like this is my opportunity to stand out to him and tell him how I really feel. It wouldn't matter to me if he would want to have sex or not but I just want to hear him say something that will validate my feelings. That alone is better than any physical contact with someone. I am going to go for it. Like what Janelle said, life's too short to mope around so just do it.