I searched every place I could go, but I wasn't able to find Miyuki-kun.
On that day, I came to realized that I don't know much thing about Yusuri-kun, I was too happy being with him that I lost all of consideration that he will also leave me. Maybe because I was too focused on being with him that I forgot to ask him about his circumstances, I know that Miyuki-kun is a scholar and a nice guy, but what could be the reason of his disappearance?
"I don't know why! Did he not like me anymore? He didn't say anything before leaving, I wish he would've at least told me why he left. Everyone that I like always leave me all alone. First, it was Tiyako Manang, now it's Miyuki-kun, am I not worthy to be by their side?"
Being sad and hard to accept the reality, I grit my my teeth and just accept it...
I told you, didn't I? if you have expectations for people, only you will end up getting hurt, once you become close to someone, you become comfortable with them. Once you become comfortable with them all sense of consideration will disappear, as you get to know someone, you start to have more and more expectations on them, which also gives you more opportunities to get hurt, at that point you're just asking for something that is....
Tears streamed onto my face and I wasn't able to stop it.
In the end, there's no point on clinging onto someone, you won't be able to tell one thing from another. That's just how human interactions work, but Why me? why does it always happen to me?
I cried and cried until tears run out of my eyes.
I didn't give up at first and still look for him, I kinda felt that something is off because there is a chance that he didn't do it on purpose, Miyuki-kun is not a person who would just suddenly disappear and leave everyone without saying anything, I know that much about him because we'd been friends for almost two years.
So, I still looked for him for a year, still, I wasn't able to find out anything useful to locate him, but there's really something off, I only heard from their neighborhood that suddenly Yusuri household has been empty.
Even with the help of my father connections, I still can't find him, and so I finally gave up searching his whereabouts.
six years have passed since he disappeared
I become a third year Junior High school student in the Busa High school, it's one of the most renowned school in Makati. For the past few years, my parents is still the same, they haven't even once tried to pamper me and indulge me with love and attention. Even if I tried to stand out and do my best and become top student in our school,
they still didn't even bother coming to my school.
They only talk to me from time to time just to lecture me and it wasn't actually pleasant.
"Akari! Don't be a stubborn, you're already around that age, you shouldn't play around anymore!"
I only got home late because I spend my time finishing the project we had in the library and when I got home, my father scolded me.
"B-but I only came home this late because of the project we had."
"What? You're talking back to your father now!"
Talking back? But that's how conversation works, Dad!
My father seems drunk and he smells of alcohol.
"Akari,Y-you! Can't you just listen to me and be obedient?"
"D-dad, I-I..."
"Silence!"
"Why? Again , you're angry at mw again, what did i even do?
I-I listen to you everytime, I didn't wasted my time and Study hard just to meet your expectations, I just get back home at seven pm and you're this angry, Why? Why?..."
"Work hard? When I am still at your age, I managed to become Student Council and top the exams all the time?"
"D-Dad?..."
"You've only got in top ranks but you never achieved to be the top one! How would I face my friends now?"
Again? He's trying to tell me again that Status is important in life and I should be like him. I'm tired of it!
Im tired of this speech of him!
'''Fuck your friends! You only cares about your status and you never paid attention to me! What am I? A robot that was just born to boost our family reputation!'''' Is what I wanted to say but I can't... I just can't mustered up my courage to confront him.
"I'll do my best, so...."
Having conflicted feelings, I can't seem to open my mouth.
"Hey, Akari! Just be obedient and do what I say, don't be stubborn! If
I noticed that you're just playing around, I'll cut off your allowance!"
"But....D-dad.. Shouldn't I be the one who have to decide what I'll do..."
"You're really taking back to me now, You're really a disgrace to our family,! You're the lowest, I shouldn't have give birth to you!"
"Why? Why?... I did my best.. so why I am getting scold like this!! That's right! You shouldn't have give birth to me if you're just going to treat me like this....."
*Slap
My father didn't even hesitated to hit me on my face.
I really blew up there and wasn't able to hold back my emotions.
I was fed up about my life and I still tried to give my best at everything, even just one mistake...Why do they notice more of my mistakes than my achievements?..
"I don't want this!"
I ran away and left my father. I spend my time at streets, and I didn't sleep on that particular night, I ran around the city and spend my time walking thinking about nothing. My mind... It's void and I felt my body have gone numb.
when the sun rises, my mother came to fetch me and send me back at home. Of course I was berated when we get home and due to that, they restrain me more.
When I become sixteen, my father appointed one of his bodyguard, saying that it was to protect me from danger.
Protect me? There's no way he would! He only did this because he was so concern on what I will do, he doesn't want me to make a mess and so, he appointed a bodyguard to monitor me.
It was annoying to have him around, it's like a bug that always follow me wherever I go. I got fed up with it and I complained to my Father but he just brushed off my complaints.
I finally graduated from junior High, and my life has been miserable.
I felt really sad and depressed.
The only happiness I have is the memories I'd spent with Yusuri-kun. I always wondered where he could have gone. I always dream that there will be a day that Miyuki-kun will get me out of this and live with me. But of course, that's just one of my dreams.
I only wish that! "Haaaah!!" I slammed the mirror, blood is streaming on my hand. I'm surprised that I didn't even felt any pain.
"I don't want this anymore! I don't want to live this life anymore! I've been tied and controlled by my father, I can't take it anymore...!"
I screamed and screamed until my voice ran out of sound, and I felt my throat and mouth is parched.
I grabbed a rope and tied it at the roof. I tied my neck at the rope and tried to put an end to my life by hanging myself, but Yusuri-kun smiled face in my memory stopped me from doing it.
"Yusuri-kun!! I-I miss you... Why do I still think of you even though you left me here without saying anything, I hate you! No... I-I love you..."
After I swept the tears on my face,
I take a deep breath and calm myself.
After thinking about what to do. I decided to attend a school around Manila and cut ties with my father. I'll live on my own and moved out from this hell.
I went to my mom company and talked to her.
"M-mom! I don't wanna continue this, c-can't I live on my own?"
I kneeled down before my mom and beg for her to give me freedom.
"Akari."
My mom gently reached me and hug me tightly.
"It must've been hard for you, I'm sorry for being a failure mother! I can't really help you, I tried to talk to your father but he wasn't listening, Please forgive me and your father too, he's only worried about our future."
My mom hug me tightly and rubbed my head while crying.
I felt a weird sensation, It's been so long since I received a hug from her. I've been looking for this day to come when she will held me like this one. I held my mother and tears started to flow out of my eyes.
We both held each other tightly for a few minutes. My mother was the first one who stand up and offered me to sit.
She brew some tea and we started discussing my plans.
I told my mom everything about my plan to go to Manila and leave our home, apparently she agreed to it.
She promised that she will deal with father and I should just do everything I like and she will be sending me money through my bank account.
Of course I didn't say a single thing to my father and moved to my new house without leaving a trace.
I become a first year student in Kasuka Senior High school. At first, I thought this will be my new starting line, but I didn't get to enjoy it too because there was someone who knows me. Apparently one of my classmates was one of the kids who hate me when I was still in grade school.
It's really hard to study there because it was uncomfortable, I suppressed my feelings and study diligently telling myself that life is not easy and it's full of obstacles, "I should let go of the past before it destroyed the present." I filled my thoughts with that and my first year just went by in a blink of an eye.
I become a second year. I finished my first semester there and decided to transfer in the MatSiTech High school.
In my first week there, everyone stared at me with adoration, and in just one day, I received a confession from different guys. I was astonished because it was totally different from before, although I don't hate it when they tried to ask me out, I still didn't seem to like it, because they asked me out when they don't even know me, they judge a book by its cover and I totally don't like those kind of person, so I turned them down.
Even though I just transferred, it become bothersome because they can't seem to understand that I'm trying to convey to them thst I don't like it, I sighed and sigh. The first day is finally over, I am now walking in the hallway and then.
"Eh... isn't that guy creepy?"
"Yeah, I totally get you, his face was really scary sometimes, I tried to approach him before but he just ignored me."
"Hahaha.. That's totally normal, He's really cold to anyone."
"Hey, what's his name again? Miyuki something?"
"What, you forget it? He's number one in our entire school you know!
His name is Miyuki Yusuri!"
"Ahhh right, right, that guy!"
The conversation of the passer-by students got my attention when I heard the familiar name I know.
"Yusuri-kun?"
I felt my chest thumping so loud when I heard the other student talking about the name I know.
" Hey! Wait! Did you just said Miyuki Yusuri?"
I dashed at the students and asked. I got nervous and felt my body becomes hot.
"Heh? Are you deaf? That's right I said Miyuki Yusuri of class 2-B, do you have a problem? Are you acquainta..."
Without letting her finish what she had to say, I sprint towards the Class 2-B to see if what her telling is the one I was looking for before.
I finally reached the room,
but no one was there. Everyone had probably already left.
I was diapointed and felt really nervous because I wasn't able to make it in time and felt relieve at the same time.
I-I'm super nervous, if Miyuki kun was really there, I don't know what I will going to say."Sigh"
I sighed and went home, I decided to look for him tomorrow.
***
The next day.
I've been waiting for a chance to meet the person that has the same name as him, Miyuki Yusuri.
The class had just finished and I'm looking for him.
When I was passing by in the hallway i heard a woman's voice.
"Yusuri-kun!"
A girl came running towards the guy who was tall enough to have the same height as the door he was leaning against.
"Miura-san? Do you need something from me?"
"W-we'll, Miyuki-kun...A-about the group project we had, can we discuss it later? J-just the two of us."
The girl that seems to be Miura asked him flusteredly.
I hid on the wall and wait for their conversation to over.
...
"Okay, see you later."
He replied indifferently and bid a farewell to her.
He started walking and so
I secretly followed him.
He seems to be walking around the town. Picking something? I looked closely and see him picked up some food on the store and leave. I managed to followed him for almost thirty minutes but then when he went to an alley, I lost him.
I tried to look at other place but I can't still find him.
"Sigh, Should I give up for today? I guess I'll head home now, the sun will set soon too."