"Wait what!?"
"I was born impotent; from the day I came out of my mother's belly."
"Are you serious?"
Ask Shalva who had genuine expression of shock plastered on her face, so much so, she drops her melancholic way of speaking, right after I announce the previous condition of my body to her.
But honestly speaking her reaction was a little over dramatic, what wrong with been impotent, yes, I never had an erection in my life but it is because of that I had time to do other things with my life.
I could focus better, I could spend my time on more necessary things, I could accomplish things without the need for company, friend or affection.
I can manage my life without the need to worry about expenses, the lack of children gave me more time to focus on my work and my life, I don't see what the problem is.
Many people were born with defects, and sickness and they still manage to live their lives just fine, yes, I admit that I might be a boring person, but that's just who I am.
That is just the way I was, that is just the way I was brought up from day one, and that is just the way I am, I am only human after all.
But as I was thinking these thoughts Shalva read my mind once more, as she answers in a way I couldn't even refute.
"Exactly Author-sama you were only a human, now you're a ghoul a monster of the night."
"Agh, but."
"No buts, no more excuses, and finally no more simple life Author-sama, you might have had a disease that made you impotent, and I won't question what it was, or how it affects your life, because I can more or less guess how it went, reason be, the reason you're like in the first place is because you never knew what true joy was."
"Both emotionally and physically, you have never experienced true pleasure for what it truly is, you were program from a young age to just move forward while wasting as little time and energy as possible."
"You sacrifice happiness for efficiency, but tell me Author-sama, where you truly even living to begin with, you're more like a robot than a human."
Upon saying that last word, "were you truly even living to begin with", it hit me really hard, I watched as Shalva looked at me with a worried face, anyone could tell she was concerned.
Somehow, I couldn't help but think, of a certain girl, one who was probably the closest woman to me, in my previous life.
As Shalva voice rang once more in my head like a broken record, I couldn't help but picture Jada voice and figure align with hers, as I got a vision of both her and Shalva saying the same thing.
"Are you truly even living to begin with Author?"
"Are you truly even living to begin with Author?"
Their facial expressions were so similar at this moment, if anything, is this what they called DeJa'Vu, I ponder to myself, complete loss in this weird emotion that I was feeling.
What was it, I didn't understand?
Would I ever understand what true happiness and joy truly was?
Was pleasure really necessary to complete one's life, I don't know, I don't even know where to start, I personally couldn't comprehend it?
But nevertheless, I still think this whole situation was too alike, how many times did everyone around me try to open my eyes, but yet I was blind to it, to be honest I recall only two times.
Maybe it was more than two I don't know, but before I became a security guard, I studied martial arts particularly boxing, archery, and overall taekwondo and for my major it was medicine when I was in college.
But I was more skill in the former than the latter, as I was once a boxer, well an instructor, the only reason I quick was because my boss said I was too tough on the trainee, there was a time I brutally injured a female trainee by putting her into a coma for two years.
I was charged for it, but such is life, and after I came out of prison three years later, I lost a lot, well maybe I didn't, because I don't understand this emotion.
Apparently, my older brother Morgan died in a plane crash when he was leaving for a business trip.
Unlike me, he was filthy rich, he owns a business that sole purpose is to create advanced technology pertaining to the medical field.
He adopted three daughters, who were triplets named Clara, Siara, and Mara, and unlike me he wasn't impotent because he had two sons, Jason and Tyrece, but for some reason he couldn't have daughters of his own, so he adopted triplets.
Ironically enough though, despite all his success he admits to me that the reason he works so hard was to catch up with me.
Why I do not know, but the last words I heard from him was "Author although I told you this a thousand times already, nothing wrong in wanting the finer things in life."
Those were the last words I heard from my older brother, and I never met any of his kids, I only receive letters from him all the way from China.
But due to me never replying to him often, I lost communication with him after I went to prison, but even while in there I still maintain a schedule life style.
There were times when other inmates wanted to take advantage of you for many different reasons, some of them couldn't even be called a reason.
But those were quickly dealt with, but after my release I met my cousin, who apparently was my mother brother eldest son.
At that time, I had no job or no way to go, my mother lived with my brother, and we already sold our old house, and a week after my release, I got noticed that mother died by natural means which was old age, she was eighty years old after all.
I went to her funeral, but my bother couldn't make it due to an urgent incident concerning his children, but even after her death I didn't shed a single tear, other began calling me cold hearted and indifferent monster.
And shortly after that, my brother died in a plane crash, honestly his death could have been caused by faulty play as well, but I didn't even go to his funeral, in short at the time I honestly thought it will tamper with schedule during my new work.
So, I was offered a job at St Catherin academy, a school for unruly girls, of course I still maintain my everyday behavior.
I serve that school four eight years before my death by an accident, honestly even now I don't understand, but yet Shalva forbid me of a simple life, live happy, be happy, die happy.
Even now I don't understand these emotions such as interaction, nor pleasure, was it really necessary, this question plagued my mind even now.
Now I glare at Shalva, who began to answer me.
"Yes Author-sama, you deserve happiness like everyone else."
"If you don't understand this emotion, let me help you understand it, firstly let me show you the pleasure and joy of interaction."
"What the hell are you doing?"
I asked Shalva as she proceeded to remove her temporary garment, revealing her naked body, I gaze upon her, how to describe her was beyond words, yet I remain indifferent to the display before me.
I once more again looked at her this time with a deadpan look, and asked.
"Again, what the hell are you do...
"Shhh."
Before I could even speak, she places her index finger on my lips silencing me from uttering another word as she said.
"You spoke enough already, just let me ease your mind let me show you the first step, you're not alone anymore, if you ever need someone to talk to you can indulge in my company."
"But is this really necessary?"
"More so than you think."
Shalva instantly replied.
As she places one foot into the coffin, then another, eventually her whole body, as she slowly crawls up my body and embraces me in her arms.
She places my head on her soft cleavage as she whispers in my ears.
"This is one of my skills, honestly it my first time I'm using it, the name of this skill is called [The chosen one] I could only use this skill once, or more so, only on one person, it won't work on any other person, this skill has the ability to grant one happy dreams, and peace of mind, it kills doubt and unsureness of a person, you might even call this enlighten of the soul, but it requires direct body contact, and by the time you fully heal, you will be granted a skill born from your desires of a wish you yourself is not aware of, this skill isn't like one from a skill tree, no it more like an actual superpower one that far surpass a normal skill in every shape and form."
"Although this is to make you also understand that you're not alone, I brought you into this world, I watch over your soul, and I gave you a new life, so with that said let me ease your worries and focus only on healing to complete Yarklane, you can rest now, because there no need for words."
Upon saying those words Shalva began to glow a red aura as it engulfs me, I felt drowsy, but yet cozy and protected, my head sank deeper into her cleavage.
It felt warm, it felt soft, it felt familiar, I see so this is what is called affection of another person, is this what they called interaction, is this what they called happiness.
Honestly, I don't know, and honestly, I don't feel like knowing, I just want to sink deeper into her affection, but the last words that escape my mouth before I felt unconscious were.
"T-T-Thank you."
And before I knew it, I was sent to dream land.
Change of Pov.
Shalva looked upon Author who was fast asleep, she kills the clothes he was wearing as he was now butt naked.
He was like a baby, completely harmless, and strangely his sleeping face looked so neutral, as if even in his dream there was nothing happy for him.
And suddenly something began to come out of Author eyes, red drops of blood began to fall down his cheeks.
She wipes them off gently as she looks at them with concern and worry as she speaks.
"This might actually be the first time you have shed tears as well, although you aren't even aware of it, what a pitiful child you are, no worries though let me show you the joys of life."
"For now, rest, because after this your journey truly starts, for now sweet dreams."
Those were the last words Shalvaveesha utter as the coffin door suddenly floated and covered both of them within it, and so it shall stay till Author awaken from his sleep.