2 years later. 1895
One... Two... Three... Four... Five... Six... Seven, eight, nine... Ten... Eleven... Twelve, thirteen... Four- It's a squirrel!!
Without even thinking, I lunged towards the small pest, aiming to catch it. Unfortunately, I missed and the squirrel was able to run free while I lay there on my stomach, disappointed. I was never good at catching the animals that had found their way in my cage; only on rare occasions would I actually manage to snag one and I would feel proud of myself for the rest of that day or night.
With a sigh, I pulled myself back into my usual dark corner and boredly continued counting the strands of hay that provided minimal comfort for me in this cold cage.
From a distance, one might think I've forgotten how to behave like a human and they wouldn't be too far from the truth. In ways, I do act more like an animal than a woman. My scheduled meal times come only twice each day; once after breakfast in the cookhouse is over and once after dinner as well. I eat the leftovers of the cookhouse and, much like an animal, I scavenge through the food for the best parts and leave everything else to be cleaned up by the janitors. During the day, I hide in the shadowed corners and at night, I slip through the bars of my cage and roam around until morning. Of course, nobody knows I'm able to do this except the ringmaster, who was the one I got the key from in the first place.
How I got the key is actually an amusing story; it was on Halloween and TomCat decided to go out with a few of the other artists after the circus closed and got drunk. He must've partied too hard, for when he came back for his nightly visit to my cage, he didn't get one word in before he passed out cold. Curious if he had the key in the first place, I dug through his pockets and eventually found it in his waistcoat pocket. I kept it without a second thought.
When he finally figured out that I had it, he let me keep it, wording it as, "our little secret". The thought excited me that I would be able to be free without the rest of the circus' knowledge. It made me feel as if I were going on secret adventures to faraway lands everytime I leave my cage. Because of this, I had forgiven Tom close to a year ago. I was willing to entertain the idea that I was a beast of the circus as long as I still had my freedom.
Contrary to what everyone believes, I still have my humanity. I am still a young girl, I still enjoy human activities, I still long to run around the circus grounds with the other children and play the carnival games. I am still human and the demon that everyone is afraid of only ever shows itself when I am forced by animal instinct.
Speaking of the others... The only ones I'm still fairly close with are FatCat, Cheetah, and TomCat; everyone else has alienated me and dismissed me as nothing but a freak... but even the freaks have turned a blind eye.
During my second performance, I was wrapped up in chains and introduced like a human oddity. I was still angered by being put in a cage and I was determined not to give the ringmaster the satisfaction of a successful show. So, while they were performing a stunt in which TomCat proves to the audience that I am, indeed, unnatural by shooting me point blank in the head (clearly, I am okay), I was infuriated by the abrupt blackout and attacked both Tom and Cheetah. I may have been wrapped in chains and blindfolded- as I usually am during show time- but I still managed to attack Cheetah.
Cheetah suffered a terrible bite on his arm... I suffered a good long chastising and a few smacks from the whip from TomCat. Despite my punishment, though, I was pleased with TomCat's humiliation; he had to go to bed that night feeling embarrassed that he nor Cheetah could control even the youngest of humans. Unfortunately, my pleasure is short-lived, as my entire act- mishaps or not- attract only more and more people who've come to see the mysterious demon child. Come one, come all and see the terrible and horrifying beast of the Nočne Mačke! Witness as she manipulates her subjects, bends them to her will, and steals your very voice! Hear the terrible screams of that which no man, woman, or human child could make! Behold her immortality!
Oh god... TomCat's voice can be sickening to hear, but I can't help but feel bad for him. He cares so much about everyone in this circus and does what he can to make sure we are happy and doing our best; however, the promise of fame and good fortune has poisoned his mind and turned him into a cocky asshole... it's the stress of owning and running a show that makes him depressed; to hide his misery, he drowns himself in booze and gin and seduces unsuspecting women (and the rare occasion of a young man if he's desperate) in the night. A majority of these encounters are from the circus and now it seems that every one yet no one knows that TomCat is a womaniser. It makes me somewhat upset that the ladies of the circus fawn over the charming devil that the boyish ringmaster has now become. I feel as if they've stolen his attention that he would always direct towards me.
At this moment in time, Tom's whereabouts were unknown to me, but I didn't care. I'm as happy as a clam suffering from chronic boredom while recounting straws of hay. It wasn't long before my boredom grew too much to bear and I had to find some other means of entertainment. So, after throwing down the pieces of hay that I clutched in my hand for counting, I reached into my bosom for the key to my chains and quickly unlocked the clasps. The abrupt weightlessness that I felt after the heavy chains fell to the cage floor filled me with joy and I wasted no time in slipping through the bars and exploring the grounds.
The circus had grown significantly since we first opened and there were plenty of attractions besides the Freakshow that embraced our macabre theme. The tents were mostly a deep blue or blue with black stripes; the fortune teller's tent was the only exception and her tent was decorated beautifully with stars and celestial bodies.
I passed by the animal pens, being sure to be extra quiet, as the tamers' tents were directly next to them. I admired our great array of wild animals; the two friendly tigers, our leopard, the bears, our elephants, the many horses. They were magnificent! I even went inside the tent that held the habitats of snakes to admire those.
At last, my journey led me past the Big Top, where, a strange noise reached my ears. It was the sound of low humming or singing, I wasn't sure which at first. Curious as to who may be up this late, I stalked inside the tent and up to the barrier to see what was going on. I was caught off guard at first to see the ringmaster laying in the middle of the ring, but I eventually sighed and rolled my eyes, no longer surprised. The man was drunk yet again and he was singing quietly to himself with a couple of bottles of whiskey sitting near his head, some were unopened by the looks of them but I knew he would get to them sooner or later.
I watched the intoxicated teen for a while with interest, wondering if I would soon get a rather amusing show from him. However, after a few minutes of nothing but quiet singing and drinking, I grew bored and climbed over the barrier to go to him. I knew that if he didn't have anyone around to stop him, he would drink until he passed out and that wouldn't be good if he passed out in the middle of the ring. Someone had to drag him to his bed and I guess that someone had to be me.
Tom paused his singing for a moment to take a sip from his bottle, but after realising it was empty, he grumbled drunkenly and tossed it to the side. Thankfully, I managed to reach him in time before he could grab another bottle and before his fingers grasped the neck of the whiskey bottle, I kicked it away from him and stared down at him as a mother would while scolding a young child.
Tom groaned wearily and looked up at me, "Oh, 'alo, Demmy... why'd ya do dat?" he slurred.
"Because you've had enough and need to go to bed right now," I answered firmly.
His flushed face scrunched up as if he had smelt something rank and, after a quiet groan, he responded, "Nah... I'm okay..." I sighed and shook my head.
"Yeah, you've had enough," I stated, kicking him gently in the side, "Come on, get up, we're going to bed."
"Nooo!" Tom refused, "I'd ra'her lay 'ere and die than go tuh some stupid bed!"
"You can't do that! Come on, you gotta wake up early tomorrow," I persisted, nudging him with my foot a second time. Tom suddenly laughed giddily and reached up to grab the edge of my skirts. Before I could react, he had pulled me down towards him and I landed with a grunt across his chest. Tom giggled at his little stunt and I merely glared at him.
"Okay... you need to stop," I said as I stood to my feet again and grabbed the drunk idiot by the lapels of his coat. "Come on, friend, time to take you home."
"Friend!?... I wanna marry you!" he giggled, pointing a finger at me as I struggled to pull him into a sitting position. I faked an amused chuckle, not finding his drunken proposal funny in the slightest.
"Haha, you're funny, Tom. Now can you please help me?" I dismissed his comment as I strained to lift his heavy body off the floor. I finally managed to sit him upright, but once I thought he wouldn't fall back, he did rather purposefully and grabbed onto my skirt again. I yelped as the force pulled me against his chest once more and the situation left me in a rather compromising place.
I was straddling his chest now and the moment Tom realised this, he continued to laugh giddily and his hands squeezed my thighs. My face grew red hot and I scrambled to get off of him as quickly as possible; however, Tom kept me in place and even rolled over on top of me to keep me from moving further.
"I quite like dis position, 'ow 'bout you?" Tom said softly, a cheeky smile plastered on his face. His hands were on my waist now and one was trailing down to my exposed thigh. Tom's face was so close to mine, I could smell the whiskey in his breath and feel the heat radiating off his face. My heavy blush intensified and I felt an uncomfortable flutter in my stomach. Part of me wanted him to be just an inch closer but the other part wanted to escape and simply leave him to pass out in the ring.
I was stunned by the situation and I had no idea how to react. Tom leaned down and I felt his lips on my neck. A feeling that I've never felt before aroused deep in my loins and it confused me as much as it excited me.
Don't let a drunk man fool you, Tae, I thought to myself rather suddenly. I was knocked out of my trance that Tom's gentle kisses put me in and before he could go even further, I pushed him away. My face was still red hot and the alien feeling I felt had not gone away; in fact, it only grew more intense the longer our eyes met.
"N-no... you can't... it's weird," I told him. I had no other explanation other than the words I said because of my shock. Thankfully, Tom decided not to push any further and with a quiet, "okay..." he got off of me and drunkenly stumbled away.
I let out a heavy sigh, as I realised I had been holding my breath during that whole ordeal. Shakily, I stood to my feet as well and followed TomCat out of the tent. He had picked up his last unopened bottle but in his befuddled stupor, he was unable to pop the top off. I eventually caught up to him, took the bottle out of his hands and placed his hand on my shoulder so he could use me for support.
"Since when di' you grow so big!?" Tom exclaimed suddenly. I shrugged but said nothing; I had no clue what to say after what had transpired in the Big Top
"You're no longer a small lit'le girl anymore!" Tom continued. I gave him a small smile and kept my eyes ahead at the path towards his little shack in the distance. We stumbled into the small abode with little trouble, all the while Tom muttered about incoherent things and giggled at my struggle to help him inside. I managed to sit him down at the kitchen table and I left quickly to get a rag and a bar of soap so I could clean him up a bit.
When I came back, he was still sitting where I had left him, looking around at everything in his home with interest and swaying slightly from his dizziness. I grabbed a large bowl and filled it with water from the sink; setting that on the table, I began to work on dampening the rag and lathering it with soap for this idiot's face.
He cooperated with me, thankfully, even finding humour in how I was treating him like a child, but I merely ignored him and cleaned off his face. Eventually, though, that cheeky grin of his reappeared and before I knew it, he pulled me close to him again by the hips and he began to caress my thighs, trailing his fingers all the way up into my skirt to my hip bones.
That same feeling as before returned to me but I forced myself to ignore it and focus on cleaning him up. I cleaned the dirt out of his hair and brushed it back with my fingers. He certainly looked different with his hair wet and brushed back but I didn't take too much time staring at him. Once I had finished, I put everything in the sink and I pulled him out of the chair to drag him to his bed. He stumbled after me, still giggling drunkenly.
As I ushered him to his bed, I pulled off his coat and hung it on a rack by the door. Tom kicked off his boots and flopped down onto his bed, staring at me with a strange look in his eyes that made me feel slightly uncomfortable. I had to walk to his bedside in order to reach the lamp and turn it off, all the while he watched me quietly.
"Goodnight, Tom," I said and Tom pulled himself to sit upright in his bed. I clicked off the light and the very moment the room went dark, the sly bastard grabbed me and pulled me onto his lap. He held me tightly in his arms as he placed a passionate kiss on my lips. I froze in pure shock, unsure of what was happening and questioning if it was even real.
The kiss lasted forever, as his lips caressed mine tenderly and his arms embraced me with warmth. My face grew hot once again and my stomach did flips. I had no clue how to react and by the time my mind was coming to terms with what was happening, Tom had pulled away and was staring at me affectionately with his lips barely hovering above my own.
"G-night, Demmy," he whispered softly before lifting me off of his lap and back onto my feet. I was only able to let out a weak whimper in response and pathetically stumble out of the room as if I were the one who was drunk. I could hear Tom's amused chuckle behind me as I left the room but I paid no mind; emotions were spiking within me like crazy and I had no clue what to think.
I stumbled all the way to my cage, one hand on my lips while the other hugged me tightly. I revisited the memory of our encounter in the Big Top and the kiss he surprised me with over and over in disbelief. I almost needed to see the scene from another person's perspective in order to truly believe that what happened had, indeed, happened!
Did that really just happen? I thought as I squeezed myself through the bars of the cage. I didn't bother to chain myself up again; I was in too much of a state of shock that I forgot about them entirely.
That was my first kiss ... and with my best friend too.
I guess I have something to think about now...
Don't let it get to your head, dumbass.