My father used to tell me that our fates were written years before we are born. There is no contending with fate. He believed that all roads lead to the same place. We have no true freedom to venture outside the perimeters of our prescribed destiny. For that reason, there is nothing more frivolous than defying fate. We are damned to live the life we are meant to live.
Well, that's what my father believed. If my life was an example to go by, fate was fucked up, and whoever wrote it had no business writing a grocery list, let alone the itinerary of my life.
So, sorry, fate, but I'm going to be winging this one. Maybe in my next life, I'll take your plan into account.
***
The notion of destiny always left Raven with a foul taste in her mouth It took on the taste of fowl medicine used to distract you from your illness instead of curing it. It took a conversation with Death himself to help her realise that destiny was, in fact, a gift and not always something to loath. Sometimes fate could be a haven of sorts and provide lost souls, like her. It could offer her some reprieve from the day-to-day torment. It promised a lack of options and in turn, also frees us from making decisions. It could make you feel alive if you let it; the way a bird is alive within a cage. Free or imprisoned life should still be adored.
The weight of fate was never more present than on Raven's 18th birthday, 9 September 2015.
She had been waiting for that day from the time she was old enough to know the value of independence.18 years old. The age at which one is no longer property of your family, or in my case the age at which I was no longer a ward of the state. She had no family to speak of. She had spent my life on a seemingly endless tour on the orphanage express. Despite the soul-numbing experience of jumping from one foster "home" to the next, one thing made it survivable. One person should I say, Sage. She was the oldest daughter of the last foster family she was placed with. She soon became be saving grace. She couldn't understand it at first. She had spent so much time closing my heart off to everything and everybody that eventually I forgot how to use it. Hell, she had never even had someone care about her enough to name her.
Raven had come from the hair dye box that she saw on one of her trips to the grocery store before kindergarten for her third foster father. She had the same hair as the woman on the box so she assumed the name of the colour as her own.
Before that she was 'Jane Doe' and nobody cared to ask her name anyways
Not until Sage.
With her rich auburn hair that reflected the perfect autumn warmth, expressive green eyes and lips that felt like home. She was everything Raven was too afraid to wish for. She loved me. She loved me. It scared me at first and she spent months denying it but she could not fight it off forever. Not when she could taste it on her lips or feel it through her warmth as her fingers danced along my skin.
When She turned 18, she was finally able to love Sage the way she deserved. She was going to become worthy of her of the girl she loved. She wasn't her foster sister anymore. They no longer had to hide our love. They were free to love as free people loved; wholeheartedly and unrestrained.
So, they did. They celebrated their freedom. They spent the day together: laughing, loving, being together and enjoying the full freedom of our togetherness. They started their day at the park sitting underneath our favourite cedar tree. They rested against the tree trunk with the warm bark as a headboard and their fingers intertwined and our shared warmth embracing us. Raven loved the feel of Sage's delicate brown locks touching her face as she nestled her head in the crook of the older girl's neck.
Moments like these made everything evaporate; her troubled past and all of my insecurities. Even the tree that they laid against for support became a distant memory with her Sage beside her. She was all that my universe consisted of.
The rest of the day passed in a bliss-filled blur that started at the park and travelled to the lake and passed through all of our favourite destinations across of minuscule town. By the time night-time was looming and the moon had made a dazzling appearance, they found ourselves entangled in each other at the backseat of Sage's impala.
Their clothes adorned the carpeted car floor beneath us. The night was silent apart from the moans that came from their panting lips. They were utterly consumed by the private space our pulsating love had created for us to exist in.
Hours had passed in seconds and were finally decided to return home, rather her home. Their day had been perfect and our night had enhanced that perfection but all good things much come to an end.
They retrieved our clothing from the car floor and made ourselves decent for our journey back.
The road back seemed longer than it had been when arrived. It meandered and had seemed to acquire new bends in the paths ahead, each more daunting than the next. A phantasmagorical fog appeared out of the shadows and cloaked the pathway going forwards. Raven looked beside her and saw a startled Sage studying the foggy darkness in front of us. She tried to reassure her by squeezing her hand. It won her a slight smile. The sound of rumbling came from the car and then the vehicle seemed to take on a mind of its own as it swerved and slid without thought to where we wanted to go.
It happened before either of us could do anything to prevent it. Another quick swerve and then "crash!".
When the orphan came to, she was no longer inside the car and Sage was no longer beside her. She slowly lifted my head and looked around in search of my girlfriend. Raven's neck was stiff and her body felt as if she had fallen directly onto a bed of nails. Although she was in pain, she convinced herself that she needed to find Sage and see if she was okay. She adjusted my body to get a better look at my surroundings. She saw her. She was lying a small distance away from me. she made her crawl towards her; cutting herself with shards of glass as she crawled along the glass painted tar road.
Raven finally reached her but when she touched her body seemed colder than before. she gave her a gentle nudge but she made no response. At that moment she was terrified. She couldn't lose her! Despite the piercing pain she was experiencing, she forced herself to move further towards her. she cradled her head in my hands. She choked on my tears and begged her to open her eyes. As she adjusted her eyes, Raven finally saw the amount of blood surrounding her love's body. This made her cry harder.
"Please wake up, Sage! I can't lose you, please. I need you to wake up, to be okay. You're my whole world, baby. Don't leave me, Sage. I'll do anything. Please, come back to me," by the end of my plea Raven could barely breathe.
"Anything? Are you sure? That's an awful large promise you're making, darling" an unfamiliar voice spoke from behind her.
Raven's snapped towards the direction of the strange voice; an act my injured neck did not appreciate. She found herself looking at a cloaked man dressed entirely in black with a hood over his head. She was quite shocked to notice the stranger's glowing eyes. His aura felt like something She couldn't have imagined in my most sadistic nightmares.
"Wh...what?" Raven stuttered.
If She weren't already preoccupied with my shattered heart, she might have taken the time to question the sudden appearance of the hooded stranger. Alas, she could not focus enough on questioning it.
"I can help her. Save her," he spoke in a hushed tone; the type one would use when making a promise.
"How?" Raven poured every ounce of hope she could muster into my question. He must have heard the desperation in my voice because he chuckled darkly.
"The 'how' is not your concern. Just say 'yes and I'll sort out the rest," his words brought me unthinkable joy and, in my desperation, Raven refused to question his intentions and accepted.
He smiled at me and knelt beside Raven and Sage. He touched her eyes and in a matter of second her eyes opened and stared at me with wide eyes.
"I love you so much, Sage. I love you," Raven spoke through my tears and when she couldn't talk anymore, Raven kissed her.
***
Her death! She was dead! How is she alive now? Raven turned my attention to the hooded man.
"I told you that the 'how' is not for you to worry about. I did my part. Your girlfriend is alive and now it's your turn to give me what I want," he spoke slowly in a tone that was almost taunting. He chuckled. Raven breathed out a shaky breath as she turned her attention back to my newly resurrected girlfriend only to find that she was gone.
"Where is she?" Raven screamed at him. She turned around a found her car had also spontaneously vanished.
"She's at home. She's safe. Now give me what I want." My heart quickened at his words. She was undoubtedly scared and my missing girlfriend wasn't helping to ease my nerves.
"Wh... what do you... wa... want?" Raven stuttered out her question as she searched for an escape route.
He smirked down at me, the glint in his eyes catching the reflection of the moon ominously.
"If that is not obvious by now. I want what you promised me, my dear. You."