"Must be tough, huh?"
Ai turned her head, snapping it back at the sound of the voice. Seeing it was human she immediately lowered her head, further then most would so that the boy wouldn't feel uncomfortable with the sets of eyes on her forehead. Fortunately, her hair covered them as she bowed her head, but she just didn't want get beaten again.
Indeed, she was done, broken. Their was nothing less and she had become the subservient, fearful being that she had initially despised. She just hoped that they weren't high enough status to permanently harm her, however, based on the handsome appearance that she had glimpsed briefly, she didn't have much hope.
"Wooooo, they really did a number on you, didn't they? And I'm not just talking physically, I thought spiders were supposed to be predators?"
Confused, Ai raised her head, only to see black eyes shimmering before her. They looked curious, as if she was an interesting existence, but other than that she couldn't see any other emotion. However, this confused her even more. She had never seen eyes without disgust or desperation clouding them so his eyes confused her.
"Pardon me, I didn't mean to interrupt your evening with your cries. I'll make sure to stay out of your sight."
However, Rain was having none of that. He was genuinely curious. He thought he saw a predatory, enraged glimpse in her eyes when he first walked up, but now all he saw was a shell. And he didn't like it.
"You did interrupt me, technically. However, it does not bother me, certainly not to the point of hurting or insulting you. I am not like that. If I should be angry at anyone it would be my brother for beating you. Nevertheless, I asked a question. You don't have to answer, but I think it would benefit you if you did. Might help you regain what you've, I surmise recently, lost or perhaps even get something new, something better than what you originally had."
Ai was confused. First, she was informed that she wasn't going to get harmed for interrupting him, despite her getting beaten often by humans for much less, and now the human in front of her was trying to... help her?
Ai raised her head, though she kept her eyes cast down.
"I don't know what you mean."
"I'll explain. As a spider and a human, you possess instincts of both, right? Humans are greedy, prideful beings, at least coming from my experience, and spiders are predators who seek prey to hunt and entrap. However, you seem to be devoid of all of that. Why? Was it something you lost or something you never had? I imagine the former."
Ai sharply inhaled. He had glimpsed her consciousness, or what had been her consciousness. She wanted that, deep down she always would. They couldn't take away her instincts, no matter how much they broke her. However, the beatings they put her through had put up a blockage inside her. She couldn't go the way he was suggesting. Not anymore.
She wanted to tell him she never thought of hunting. That she wasn't greedy or possessive, but when her top set of eyes glanced upward, she saw within him a complete lack of judgement, regardless of the answer. And so, unconsciously,
"I-I want to hunt. And entrap, and sometimes possess. That was my passion, b-but I can't just do that. I have nothing to hunt, no focus and no passion. All I see around me is disgust.
"Well... if you lose passion, find a focus. You clearly know what you originally liked, so find a subset that sharpens your goals. Or find a new passion. There's a lot of stuff out there..."
"B-but-"
"Also, since when did I possess the emotion of disgust? Perhaps distaste, due to my like and dislikes, but I don't think I've ever felt disgust before?"
Ai was trying to argue, to say that their was nothing, that, since all she was either fear or disgust and those would never be her passion, that she would not be able to find it.
However, his next words changed that. Suddenly, without thinking, she looked at him, really looked at him. He stood near her, a confused look on his face as he questioned if his face was showing disgust. He was handsome, especially for someone around her age, with pitch black hair and eyes. She focused, trying to pick out a strand of the fear and disgust she hated, but their was nothing.
"W-why? Why are you telling me this? Are you trying to comfort me, only to throw me away? Perhaps, get my loyalty by being kind? A powerful servant-"
Her mind, and heart, were overloading, and she tried looking for any other reason than something that would save her. However, his next words caused her to freeze. His next words caused her to focus.
"I don't like assumptions, they bother me. They're useful in a sense, but don't assume anything about me. I am simply the bastard child of a king, son of the lowliest concubine. I am simply me. I came here because I heard you getting beaten and I watched. I did not step in and save you like a hero, I just decided to watch. Why? Because I didn't care. Stepping in would only cause an unnecessary scene. Fortunately for you, though I believe I had no obligation too, I decided to come here afterwards to try to see if you could get past your tragic present and create a new future. Nothing more."
These were not the words she expected. She thought he might be a hero, or a villain, but not a spectator. That made her focus, and she looked into his eyes again, looking for a hint of caring this time, but she found none.
"W-why aren't you scared. Humans find my eyes unnatural, don't you?"
"Hmmm, I guess I do. They're a bit unsettling after being surrounded by two eyed persons all my life, but it's not like I care. Let me let you in on my mentality. All beings with self awareness are equal in my eyes, regardless of appearance. I do not judge people for their appearances, as long as they possess intelligence, they deserve at least a modicum of respect. Even you, hell, even people like Duyi I have respect for. After that, it comes down to personal opinion as to where I place them on my importance scale. I don't do things that harm other conscious beings like Duyi for pleasure, or for no reason. I accept my actions have consequences, and I am also prepared to dish out just consequences to others as well. An eye for an eye, if you will. Quite a Kantian view, if you don't mind me saying..."
"So, no, I'm not scared or disgusted. I don't really care. Such things are of no importance to me in the long rum, though an initial assumption might be based on it. And, just for the record, I do not believe in using other intelligent beings as a means to an end, thank you very much. I do not much like leading others on as well. Honestly, though this might just be my modern and unique perspective, though the eyes are offsetting, you are quite beautiful."
Ai registered a lot from his little monologue, but she knew that she got many firsts. She had never been respected before, nor called beautiful.
All Rain did was state his views, this was not flattery. She could see in his eyes that possessed almost no fluctuations that this was the case.
'What's this feeling?'
It was similar to once she had once felt, back when she had hope and defiance, though a bit difference. It was a desire to prey upon another being, but rather than just hunting any prey, she had a focus. One that stood in front of her. She didn't want to kill him. She wanted to possess him, to entrap him, to be with him and hear more from him. To feel his respect, and his absolute sincerity with his words.
'So this is what he meant by focus?'
Rain was right. She had found a subset. One that would involve him.
'Only him.'