Chereads / The Lost Moon of silver / Chapter 10 - What makes a human?

Chapter 10 - What makes a human?

Nefretiri

There's something odd about being down here and not being scared. I know it has everything to do with Ivan and being with me. It's crazy that we're standing in my husband's 'lair,' I only want to lose myself in this werewolf's embrace. Even when I try to remember when Ricky made me feel this safe, I can't. The truth is, I've never felt anything like what I'm feeling right now. 

"Is this why you were so scared? Why you wanted to hurry back?" Ivan rests his forehead on mine, and the strange, intense sparks start affecting me again. They're so pleasurable, and I wonder what's causing them.

"I wasn't supposed to leave the house." Licking my lips nervously, I try not to focus on Ivan's. Desperately concentrate on anything else but the craving I'm suddenly hit with to kiss him again. "If he saw me on the street or... I wasn't here before he got back... I was scared."

"You don't have to be afraid, Nefra. I'll protect you. I told you. He won't hurt you again." Ivan's voice left no room for doubt. He believes in what he's saying but doesn't know what Ricky can do. Didn't he notice that the majority of that horrifying collection was werewolves? 

"You're risking your life just by knowing me." My chest hurts. I don't want him to leave me. That's as honest as I can be. "He'll never stop hunting me if I leave. He always finds me."

"Nefretiri," Ivan says, setting me down. He cups both sides of my face and stares into my eyes. The intensity of his energy gives me a sense of his determination, power, and strength. "I am not afraid of him."

"But..."

"Nefra, I am not scared. He will never beat me. I won't allow it. Can you understand that?" His thumbs gently caress my cheeks down to my jaw. "I told you I am the Alpha of my pack. We're not weak. I'll take you and the baby home with me, and you'll be safe with your family—our pack. I don't care what grade of an assassin he is or how good he thinks he is at his job. I won't let him have you. Ever again."

"You don't know anything about me." My heart yells at me for arguing, and my head screams that I'm not arguing enough. That I shouldn't believe him and don't know him either.

"I know what matters. You're my mate; this isn't your home, and I owe you so much." Ivan lowers himself onto his knees, cocking his head to the side and showing me his throat. The gesture startles me, but I don't know why. "I am so sorry. It's my fault you're here."

How easy would it be to blame him for this? I could ask no questions. Not the hows or why this werewolf wants to take the fall for me. Instead, I could be guiltless about my choices and let my conscience stay clear. I get the feeling Ivan would never throw it back in my face if I did that so I could live my life pretending the lie was the truth.

But... I couldn't do that.

"I told you, I married him. I didn't... I wasn't strong enough to run from him, and I don't understand what you mean by you feeling my pain, but how could you have known it was me? That's impossible." Shaking my head, I grab his hands and pull him up. He gets up and wraps his arms around my waist. "No, this isn't your fault, and I don't want to play the blame game all night. So... before I lose my nerves. Can we leave?"

"Yeah," Ivan smiles, catching my lips for a quick kiss that leaves me hungry for more before he takes me back to the stairs. "I still say I owe you."

I don't even bother closing everything back up. I don't care. It'll be too soon if I never see any of this again. Ivan takes me back upstairs, heading to Penelope's room to grab the duffle bag. I'm about to return to Ricky's room to grab my shoes when Ivan scowls, staring at the door. He doesn't have to say anything. The universe wasn't so kind to me. 

Of course, he had to be home. Fuck! My heart starts pounding in my chest. If I'm lucky, which I never am, he'll have some random girl with him. If I'm not, it'll be one of the muffin tops. My nickname for his harem. I think it's supposed to be Darla this weekend. Fuck, fuck, fuck!

"Go to the back of the house," I whisper, pushing Ivan towards the den. I needed to fix Ricky's bed. The bed Ivan had me on, licking me and nearly... Fuck I didn't have time for that. "Please. He can't see you."

"No, I'll deal with him." Ivan refuses to move, but my panic only intensifies. I know he's not scared, but Ricky plays dirty. The knife he has with him... It's pure silver. "I'm not letting him near you."

"Ivan, please. I want to leave. It'll be easier this way, please." I was running out of time. If Ivan heard the car outside and Ricky wasn't alone, he'd come inside quickly.

Moving a werewolf is nearly impossible. Ivan was all muscle, and it felt like I was shoving a brick wall. I don't know if it's my insistence or he doesn't want me to hurt myself, but Ivan finally obeys, still watching the door as I force him to the back room. 

"I'll be fine." He won't let me go, and I need to hurry. "I swear I'll be alright."

This isn't my first mad dash. Ricky always showed up from work unexpectedly, checking if I was still in the house or alone. But this is the first and only time he'd be right about me having someone else. I shove the lockbox under the bed and grab my clothes and shoes before throwing everything into the nursery. I couldn't have pulled it off if Ivan hadn't used his werewolf healing on me. I'm still in pain but can at least move like a person. 

The sound of the keypad warns me I'm out of time, and I shut the door so it seems like Penelope is asleep. Then, realizing I looked suspicious standing there, I ran to the bathroom. I can only hope Ivan won't decide to come out. As much as I want to leave, that's not what makes me most anxious. The thought of Ivan getting hurt is driving me crazy. I only met him a couple of hours ago! How could I feel so strongly about him?

"Diana!" Ricky's voice sends shivers all across my body, but they're not from pleasure. "Where you at, baby?"

Well, it seemed his mood had changed.

"Bathroom." I grab my hairbrush, pretending I'm in the middle of the arduous task of brushing this monstrosity. Every time I try to cut it, Ricky tells me he likes it long like it is, and I can't find the scissors for a month. He just scoffed at me when I confessed it gave me a headache. 

The door opens, and I stare at him from the mirror, still working on the section of hair I'm holding. The hostile fire in his brown eyes from earlier was gone. He looks calm and even manages to seem regretful. I don't say anything, afraid of what my mouth might produce. I might even tell him I have a guy who was a better kisser than he was. Honestly, Ivan was better at... everything so far. Kissing, touching, licking... No, I really needed to stop that.

"Come here." Ricky takes the brush from me and tugs my hand. When Ivan touched me, I felt sparks of pleasure. When Ricky holds my hand, it's almost like my skin burns. "I'm sorry."

We leave the bathroom, and I nearly swear loudly when I see Darla leaning on the couch where my blanket and pillow were. Darla was the woman you couldn't help hating. You didn't really need a reason, but she gave me plenty of them. She gives me an expectant look, silently telling me to accept his apology. Most men's mistresses are desperate to become the wife, not Darla. She spends a lot of time talking to me, most of which are suggestions for keeping Ricky happy. It's insulting and weird.

"It's fine." I shrug, forcing him to let me go. "It's my fault."

"No, Sapphire, I get angry." My stomach turns at the nickname. I hate that he calls me that, and I'm terrified Ivan won't stay back there. "You know how stressed I get, and I take it out on you. You know how much I love you."

Love? His mistress is standing a few feet away, and he wants to talk about loving me. It's never been easy for me to accept this. I've never had a choice in any of it, and it's worse now. Before, I just swallowed and bottled it up, but now... Part of me wishes Ivan would come out.

"Have you eaten dinner?" He asks, acting like he cares about my well-being. I don't want this life. For the first time, I'm willing to admit I never did.

"Yeah, I ate." It wasn't a lie. Ivan made sure I ate as much as I could handle. 

"Diana," cupping my chin, Ricky forces me to look at him, and it takes everything in me not to pull away in disgust. "You're still mad at me, aren't you?"

"No, I'm not." My answer was quick, trying to avoid the mess that was bound to come next.

"Ricky, why don't we go out for breakfast tomorrow?" Darla chimes in. "Let D go to bed."