Nefretiri
I tried to keep everything together; I initially thought I was managing things.
No one questioned me when I sat on the packhouse steps after Ivan left. They assumed I was upset that he'd gone. I was, but I knew he'd be alright. It had nothing to do with the potion, though I prayed it would help. Ivan wasn't some fifteen-year-old who was being thrown into a mission he shouldn't be on. He was a warrior and had led his share of missions.
We both knew he had to do this.
Besides, even if I'd gone, I would've been useless. I've got no real experience to do the things everyone else can. That was the case when I was aware of everything I am. In the eyes of the supernatural world, I didn't exist. So, I never joined the military to appease the royal court's decrees. My life was to be protected, not protecting.
So, sitting on the steps wasn't about being depressed.
