I silently stare at the sky from my bedroom's window. My mind doesn't move from what happened to me recently. It doesn't make a sense when I try to believe these all before. But it happened, it really happened and I might as well believe it.
"what are you doing there Lucas?" spoke a voice that sounds familiar in my ear.
"geez, you surpised me Va" I ain't lying with my words when I see my old friend and my first love entered my room and folded my blanket on my bed.
"I couldn't hear your comming," I added.
Valeria smiles and looks at me gently, I hope she knows anything happened and just tells me that those all are a lie. Anyway, this is my first time looking at Valeria as a woman, I know that we grew together because she lives beside me, and I thought of her as my sister. But it's totally different now. I admired her in my fantasy world and this right now. Unluckily, just me who felt that situation.
"you're daydreaming again?" she guessed suddenly.
I'm surprised hearing it, "no," I replied.
"what are you thinking?" she asked.
"something doesn't make a sense"
"like what?" I can see her curious face when she asked me that question.
"fantasy world.....maybe"
Valeria smirks at my words. I ain't surprised about it. Everyone will think I'm crazy for that topic. Yes, I'm 24 and I still talk about fantasy world, even though I'm a man. But I just think about all things succeeded to make me messed up. That's what I feel now when I look at Valeria.
"have you just watched Harry Potter?" Valeria guessed it.
"absolutely no," I answerd.
"so why are you asking me like that?"
"I just imagine it"
"childish," she said softly
"who? Me?"
"who else? It's you, idiot"
"damn"
I can hear it, her laughter for everything I said about. Damn, it's embarrassing. It seems she just thought of it as a boring old fashioned joke. But I care about it. Care about anything I said to her, my unmake a sense question and what I thought. But it's real. I knew it even though it's unbelieveble.
It happened last week when I returned to this old house, I was in city to continue my study in a college and worked there. 2 weeks ago I heard the news about my grandfather's death and I gotta go to this place a week after. My uncle said that my grandfather gave this old memorable house for me and that required me to stay here for a few days. It made me meet my old friend living beside me for a long time again, my first love, Valeria Buckley.
It was Saturday, one week ago, I cleaned my childhood room where I got a call from my girlfriend in the city, Estella Camilo. And after that, anything changed.
-one week ago
I try to reach spider web above the palate of my room by a broom when I suddenly hear my phone is ringing on the table. I feel short of breath when I try to breathe in the dusty air in this room, but I still answer this call. It's from my lovely girlfriend, Estella. I see my smile in the mirror when I answer it, absolutely it's because I miss her so bad and she's calling me now.
"hallo," her most I missed voice.
"hi babe, are you okay?" I replied.
"are you getting sick Lucas?" maybe because of my sound when I say something. It's damn embarrassing because of the dusty bothering my throat. That's why she asked me like that.
"no, it's just.... you know, I'm cleaning this house and it's so dusty"
"oh amazing," she said softly.
"yes. Anyway, is there something important to talk about?" I asked her to the point.
"oh yes, I called you suddenly, it might be surprised you"
"no babe, it's good"
"actually I have something to talk with you"
"yeah, just tell me"
"we have to stop it lucas"
Geez, it's like there's a big rock falling on my head. It changes my emotion directly.
"I know what you're thinking right now Lucas, it hurts you. But it's my freedom," she continues her words.
"why?" I try to ask, it's like I stuck in this situation and I fuckin hate it.
"no, I'm sorry, it's just..... I don't know..."
"you don't love me anymore?" I asked cutting her words.
"no Lucas, it ain't what I mean"
"so?"
"Lucas, I love you, and you know it. But loving you is my cage. I ain't be able to do anything I wanna do"
"why didn't you tell it to me?"
"I was just afraid to break your heart"
"you're breaking it"
"yes, I know. I'm breaking your heart... it's just..... I don't know what should I do anymore"
"you have someone else in my position," I guessed.
"no Lucas, it's not....."
"lier," and I finally show my emotion to reply her.
"okay fine!! Yes, I have. He loves me and I love him"
"more than mine?"
"no, but this feeling is totally different"
"damn, you drive me crazy"
"I'm sorry Lucas, I just...."
Done! I end this call and turn off my phone. There's nothing I'm thinking about, It's fuckin messed up and drives me mad. But anything's changing when I look at my old friend and my neigbour playing a violin in her yard. Is she Valerie, my first love when I was seven? She grew into beautiful woman, and I'm damn mesmerized by her. It's crazy, I have just been broken heart, and suddenly I fall in love.
Hell, It drives me crazier. So I decide to clean this house' attic. Or I can say it mysterious attic. Grandfather forbade me to go there since I was child or maybe I was born. There was no one going to that attic except my grandfather, and it made me curious. My cousin, Elliot, had ever said to me that grandfather hid something worthwhile. Did he hide treasure there? There is no use thinking about it, I have to go and see what he hid in that room.
I pass the stairs leading to that mysterious room one by one. It's wet and very dark even these stairs looks fragile so I can hear a loud hissing sound in every step I take. Besides, this room is so dusty and I hate it. I bagin to think I have to return and come back later. But a silhouette of light from the end of these stairs makes me have to step forward. And here I am, in a very dusty room, I can see how immesurable are these all. These are what he hid for a long time, this room is full of ancient items that we rarely find in this world. And looking at these all makes me smile and forget my problem, it's like I'm in the other side of the world and I'm statisfied about it. So I try to clean all these items carefully, it's because I appreciate and I don't wanna break them.
It spend almost 3 hours to clean all of them until I don't see dusty and spider web anymore. I plan to return to my room when I see an ancient drawer in the corner. I think I haven't clean it yet, so I decide to do that. I open the drawer one by one there is nothing there, until the last locked drawer.
"weird, he just locked this drawer?" I asked myself.
But I don't think about it more and just clean it before I leave this room and return to my room.