Carramel's POV
I keep my gaze on the ground as James leads us to his 'favorite' place, my hand fitting his so perfectly. My cheeks are forever aflame as I trail slightly behind him, trying to figure out what today meant. What it means for him or me, and if they're two different things. This is the part where I tell him that as much as he's so sweet and fine and funny I can't date him. My birthday is around the corner and I promised myself I would never fall in love with anyone but my Mate.
"We're here, Carramel." James says and I feel him look down at me. As I go to take in our surrounds I can't help but be saddened a little than he hasn't called me bean again. As much as I can't be his like I wish, the nickname made my tummy flutter in the most special of ways. I gasps when I finally look up, the beautifully trees surrounding a park bridge enough to take my breath away.
As I gape at the view around us, James pulls me along to the middle of the bridge where he leans over the side to look over at the river below it and the city in the distance.
Too shy to reach for his hand again or stand so close, I choose a spot a couple inches from him. He looks at me with a crease in his eye but whatever he wants to say he lets it go and stares back out over the world. "So, Carramel, you wanted to talk?" He asks in a soft neutral tone and I can't really tell what he's thinking. I just know this whole conversation is going to completely fray my nerves.
"Yes." I whisper, my hands coming together to twist nervously. Now that we're here I don't know what to say or how to say it. What do I even do?
"Do you want me to tell you about this morning, or what started everything?" As much as I want him to tell me where it started, I also want to know what happened this morning.
"This morning, please." I answer, the rustle of the trees and the waves of the river threaten to take my words away but his answering him tells me he caught them in time.
"I want to apologize, Carramel, for doing anything you weren't okay with. This morning started my Rut though I didn't remember until Alex reminded me. That's where the passiveness and anger came from, so I'm sorry about that." Though I know the information is important, I can't bring myself to care at the moment because that's not the part of the morning I was referring to.
"The kiss?" I ask meekly half hoping he hears me, the other half willing to die a quick death if he did. I see him shoot me a look out the corner of my eye but I keep my eyes trained on the water below us. Looking at him would only make denying him so much harder.
"Oh I've been wanting to do that all week. Which kind of brings me to what started it all." He explains and as he continues his voice gets softer and I can almost hear the smile that's kissing his lips. "For two years I have been searching for my Mate, even took up a shallow rude annoyance to fill that gap. Until one day sitting in the cafeteria, something told me to turn my head and I saw you. I felt little sparks when I looked at you, and your scent already has my arm standing on end. I would bet all that I have that you're my Mate, Carramel, and I couldn't be happier."
Throughout his explanation, though I don't remember when, I had turn my head to stare at him openly. There's no way that anything out of his mouth is true. Because that would mean something good is finally going to happen to me and that I actually have a chance at being happy.
I turn back towards the water to make sense of my head. On the one hand it makes sense. The strong feelings and reactions that come alive around him, why he makes me feel safe, how right my hand feels in his. But on the other hand he's a freaking Alpha. Oh jeeezz, stimulation overload.
As I start to panic my hands start to flutter looking for something to grab onto something real to ground me before my insecurities and overthinking drags me into a world that tries to convince me it's real. Before I can start to spiral out, however, my hand is grabbed and I'm pulled into James' chest, my hand coming up to grab his shirt tightly in my fist. I take in his scent of pine and a distinct smell of safety. What that smells like I would never be able to tell you but he carries the smell so well, I instantly melt into his warm chest, my heart finally calming with the beat of his.
"I'm sorry for overwhelming you, Carramel." He says and all I hear is shame and regret in his tone and it makes me giggle immediately.
"I get overwhelmed if there's too many crayons to choose from. It's okay. At least I don't have to tell you to get lost since you claim to be my Mate."
James gives me an over dramatic gasps that has my tummy hurting with how hard I'm laughing. He turns so that his back is leaning against the side of the bridge so I can lean all my weight on him. "Hey, man choosing the right shade of green is a lot of pressure I don't blame you. And I'm too pretty to be told to get lost." He scoffs at me while poking me teasingly.
"Not pretty enough, sadly." I tease softly, loving the mock reactions I'm getting from him, unable to hold in my giggles at his hurt look.
"See, that was just mean."
I pat his chest in apology and he just holds me closer, which has me thinking. "Today must have been hard for you." I muse as I rest my head on his chest, knowing he needed this right now.
"In what way? In restraining myself from Artemis' brother? You have no idea." His voice still hold some annoyance but he seems to be mostly calm out here in this perfect place.
"No!" I exclaim one a fit of giggles all over again. "I meant with your Rut with me all the way across the school." I frown a little at how uncomfortable it must have been.
"Ahhh no worries about that, it wasn't triggered fully until I saw that asshole Jasper all over you. What did he even say to you anyway?" I feel his body stiffen in annoyance and probably anger. I hesitate to tell him, but apparently it'll be a life time of this so, I might as well.
"He was flirting, I think. I'm not sure. I'm not very good on picking up on things like that. But he did say I was small enough to climb him like a tree. I didn't really understand that, though." I whisper as I answer my Alpha. I feel his muscles contract tighter around me and I feel anger running off him in waves. He begins emitting his dominance and need to be obeyed in the air and I can't help the strained whimper that falls from my lips as I'm forced to bare my throat at the angry wolf.
As soon as the pitiful sound leaves my mouth, the power that had leaked in the air quickly disappears. "Oh fuck, Carramel I'm so sorry, bean. I'm sorry." James is frantic in his apology, knowing how much Omegas hate being forced to submit. He hugs me tightly while mumbling sweet apologies into my ear.
And while he's panicking about making me submit outside of all places, my mind is stalling not even able to console him that it's okay because the only though that's going through my head, the first thought I've ever had like this is:
Holy moly. That was hot.
And of course my cheeks are flashing red as I bury my head in my Alpha's … no, my Mate's chest. I can't help the sigh of contentment that passes through me at the thoughts flowing so freely.