SIYA RAINS-
I sit on the bed and I see Landon's phone beep, I had just come out of the shower and he went in. I was kind of surprised that he didn't join me, I mean I didn't want him to, but he never listens to anyone. I guess he was serious about the "break up" but why is he so obsessed with George? I need to find out. I mean George is nothing in front of Landon, no offence. I wasn't happy with the fact that they got George involved. He has always been such a good guy to me and to everyone.
The phone beeped again and I couldn't help but look, it was Victoria, I got curious as to what she had to say so I opened his chat. I felt bad for sneaking into his phone but I needed to know what Victoria had planned as I knew Landon wouldn't tell me unless something directly affects him. I scrolled to the top of their chat while keeping an eye on the bathroom door.
Landon: I hate you
Victoria: Oh man, you figured out our genius plan :(
Landon: Wouldn't really call it genius but yeah we did. Why are you doing this? I can hardly talk to her.
Victoria: Because you realize what you've lost, Landon. It is not too late. Trust me.
Landon: Oh not this again.
Victoria: Tell me dear, how does it feel to lose the best thing that has ever happened to you.
Landon: Victoria, just ask grandma to stop this.
Victoria: Yeah right. She is going to listen to someone? Where do you think you get your stubbornness from?
I quickly closed the chat as soon as I heard the shower being turned off. I wanted to read the entire conversation but I couldn't. Now that I think of it, I shouldn't. I can't believe I invaded his privacy. Landon stepped out, shirtless, making my jaw drop involuntarily and smirked a little when he saw my face. I felt like punching myself in my face.
Yes Siya, punch yourself.
My conscious cheered me on.
I was broken out of my trance as Landon sat in front of me with a bottle in his hands and two shot glasses. He was just wearing his sweats. He wasn't wearing a shirt. I tried not to stare as I looked at him with anger, my face was flushed red. He sat in front of me, I felt tiny, he could crush me like a boulder. His stature was big and muscular and mine was petite.
"Why aren't you wearing a shirt?" I ask him angrily but it comes out breathy making him smirk more.
Come on, Siya. Just punch yourself.
"I don't wear shirts when I go to sleep, you should know this by now. You slept in my arms each and every time after I was done fuck-"
"Okay enough, I get it. Please just put a shirt on." I say as my face turns completely red at his cocky comment. I did not expect him to say something like that. I could feel my conscious hammering it my head that staying in the same room with Landon is a bad idea.
"Why? Is it turning you on? You think you can't resist me if I don't wear a shirt?" He asked with a genuine look on his face with a hint of pride like this was some sort of a game for him that he enjoyed playing. I quickly shook my head but my heart raced, not liking the effect he had on me.
Landon was so laid back today, he was never usually like this. He was teasing me with each and every chance he got. Maybe we shouldn't drink.
"So why are you so happy today? And honestly what are- " I ask, not being able to control my curiosity any more. I look him in his eyes as to not drool over his physique.
Man, I think he lives in his gym.
"I am not answering any of your questions till you start drinking. I know you have a low alcohol tolerance but you have to admit things are awkward between us." He states and I just blankly stare at him.
"And you are not really helping the situation by being shirtless." I say sharply, rolling my eyes.
"That's true. I am not." He says unapologetically making me want to either push him off a cliff or kiss him senseless. It can't just be me right, who feels this? It's like there is this tension between us which will never go away. I thought it would once we have sex but nope.
"How about this? We ask each other questions and when we don't want to answer a question we take a drink instead." I say knowing that I would answer all the questions and I wouldn't have to get drunk. Because I know if I drink I am going to hump his brains out. I can't resist a Greek god sitting in front me, with his sculpted biceps and devil-like perfect face.
"Sounds good. Go ahead." As soon as he says it, I feel a rush inside me, Landon is always such a close book, now I can ask him all the questions I've been dying to ask since the day I met him.
"Have you ever considered marrying any of your past girlfriends? Like Danika?" I whisper her name because I was always insecure about the fact that a man like Landon who has been with a perfect woman like Danika is with me now, who is very plain, not something extraordinary.
"No, I didn't really have a real girlfriend, you were the closest I've ever come to a woman with whom I was sexually as well as emotionally involved. Danika was not a bad person I guess, but had no spine, was controlled by her mother so acted out by bullying others. We had to go our separate ways." I felt relief wash over me when I heard that. Danika wasn't someone he loved.
I don't have anything against her.
It's just that I can't compete with a 5'8 goddess with silky brown hair and blue eyes.
"How do you feel about me honestly? Good or bad." I raise my eyes in confusion not understanding the question, "I mean I know we had something and you liked me but I want to know why you liked me exactly?" He clarifies after he looks at my face.
I knew what he meant. Most of the women he has been with liked him for his insanely good looks, his success and his powerful stature but I don't blame them. Landon was so closed off that he hardly ever spoke to me on an emotional level. So most of the women liked him for his superficial things because Landon never let them in.
"Does it matter?" I didn't understand why he would ask me that, no man has ever asked me that. The question seemed very intimate even though it was a very simple one. I have been trying to fool myself by saying that he is not into me anymore.
But he looks me in the eyes for a little too long to "not have feelings for me".
"When I met you, I knew you were different from all the people I've ever met. You were the most intelligent person I knew but you were never condescending, you listened to my ideas, even considered them. You made me feel like an equal unlike the other experiences I've had with men, even my father who loves me dearly feels like I need to be sheltered and I may not understand things around me. You never had an intention to change, control or 'shut me up'. Even when Paul tried to talk to me, you didn't swoop in to 'rescue' me. You let me handle it on my own." I told him, leaving out millions of the other things I wanted to say. I didn't want to make things awkward by telling him why I am so madly in love with him.
Landon just looked at me and nodded. I couldn't decipher what was going on his mind but I wasn't going to question it.
"Okay great my turn! Paul..." I trail off as he gulps a shot before I could complete my sentence.
Wow.
"So Analia-"I mirror his action and gulp down my vodka and make face as the vodka burned my throat. Landon laughed at the expression on my face before actioning me to ask my question.
"Do you think I am a pushover?" I ask, when he brought up Analia, I felt like I needed to ask him.
He looked at me for a second before answering, I felt like he was trying to stop himself from opening up, but he was drunk. My heart skipped a beat, with just one look, his greenish-grey eyes looked at me intensely almost making me melt, "No, most of the times I think you can be very strong and stand your ground. You won't let anything happen that's against your wishes or something you are not comfortable with. But your biggest weakness is love. When you love someone, like your sister for example, you will forgive her till the end of time and support her no matter what, even when she doesn't deserve it. You love unconditionally and accept people without any judgement. It's a beautiful thing, but not everyone deserves it."
I was speechless as he said that. I guess people who grow up without unconditional love tend to make it a point that they give others what was not given to them.
He was right, Analia didn't deserve me being so nice to her all the time. We both faced hardships in our life, we both lacked attention from either of our parents but I didn't blame her for it. I didn't blame her for hogging all of my mother's attention.
I am done with Analia.
"Okay, that was a little serious, Have you ever been in love?" He asked and I stopped for a second before chugging the burning liquid that made me feel warm. I didn't know how to answer that. Yes I've been in love. I am in love. I am so in love with him that I'd be his if he just asked. Whenever he is around it's like, here come the feeling that I thought I had forgotten. Every time I feel like I am recovering from our break up, I go back to square one with just a look from him.
I hate him right now!
We talked for over 2 hours like this which ended up with Landon not answering most of the questions I had asked. I was just tipsy as I answered most of his questions. In his defense, I asked extremely personal questions which included his past and family while he was asking me harmless questions.
I could see Landon was drunk so I finally asked the question I've been dying to ask.
"What's with you and George? Please tell me why do you hate him so much? He has never done anything to you! He is such a good guy." I ask and he looks at his drink before contemplating whether to drink or not, "No I need to know the answer, don't drink." I tell him and he huffs like a baby, making me laugh before giving up.
Yayy!
"I hate him because he is a good guy. I tried to find some fault or flaw in him but he is just a good man. I don't like him because he is everything you've ever wanted in a man. He can give you whatever you need but I can't and that is what makes me hate him. The problem with love is that I can love whoever I want but so can you. It's just a matter of time when you realize what a mess I am and leave me for a better person who can actually take care of you. You've spent your entire life looking after people, I know I've said this before but I feel like now you need someone to be there for you. George seems like the perfect guy so I hate him." He slurred as leaned against the bed rest and closed his eyes for a second. The room was filled with silence I could almost hear my heart beating.
Maybe it was the alcohol but I dared to ask him something, "I don't care about any other man, Landon, you know that I want to be with you then why do you keep pushing me away?!" I was exasperated and tired. Is this how we are going to spend our lives?
Just going to have to be secretly in love with each other and then leave it at that?
"Because I know I love you and it terrifies me, it terrifies me what I would do for you." He said as sleep took over him.
My breathing stopped.
Everything around me froze.
All I ever wanted from Landon was to tell me straight up what he feels about me. Now that he has, I don't even know how I am going to begin to process this.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Hello All You Beautiful People,
Landon is finally opening up to Siya, but is that enough? What do you think Siya will do next?
I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please tell me your views on it. I would really appreciate it!!!
Thank you so much for reading my book.
I love you guys!!
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