CAERA DENOIR POV:
My gaze lost focus as I stared out of the carriage window. The familiar landscape, nothing more than a constant reminder of my past.
The cold wind brushed against my face, giving me a sense of nostalgia, when Grey and I had travelled back that night from the Denoir Estate; the only good memory to remember, I thought.
I felt my hands reach out for Grey, to feel his warmth, hoping it would wash away the coldness enveloping me. But, Grey wasn't here, I realised.
I was alone.
Moving away from the window to keep the cold wind off my face, I sighed at the thought of the day ahead of me. Soon after Grey and I had returned from our recent ascent, meeting the dragons, which— still felt surreal to me and made me shiver, everytime I thought about it. I had gotten a letter from Lenora, my adoptive mother, for my presence back at the Denoir Estate immediately.
Knowing that my adoptive parents have once again arranged for another meeting with some young highblood, I felt a mixture of annoyance and helplessness fill my insides.
I took out a deep breath, resigning myself to rest till I reached the Estate.
After several minutes had passed in silence, the Denoir's Estate came into view as the carriage approached its exterior gates.
Getting out of the carriage, a familiar figure of an orange haired woman in her ashy-brown uniform, bearing the Highblood Denoir insignia walked out of the gates. "Lady Caera! Welcome back.", Nessa said with a warm smile.
I gave her a genuine smile in return, finding a small relief in spending the entire day among my adopted blood.
"Why am I being called back so soon?", I asked Nessa, while my smile slowly turned into a slight frown.
It has become a regular affair to visit my adoptive parents to give them personal reports on Grey, just as I was tasked to. It was also their way of showing that they still had the leash around me, and to keep me from further "putting myself and my blood in danger by going on ascents", as they said. Completely ignorant of the fact that I have been doing exactly just that.
"High lord and Lady Denoir had set up a meeting with the 'lord of highblood Rotchburns', few weeks ago. But since— your injury, the visit was delayed and then further, by your absence in the past few days." Nessa replied, as we walked into the Estate.
My frown deepened, while my mind went back to the familiar name of the highblood. 'He hasn't learned his lesson', I thought.
Nessa glanced at me with her hesitant eyes. "Lady Denoir has been worried about the nature of your injury. She is also suspicious of your recent whereabouts, given that no ascent had been registered under your name— both of it. She—"
"So what? Is this a punishment for getting injured?", I scoffed.
Nessa slumped her shoulders for a second, before recovering. "No, Lady Caera. The High lord and the lady have invited the 'lord of highblood Rotchburns' for another meeting— today. That is the rea—"
"Vritra's sake, is that all they think about?", I snapped, making Nessa flinch.
Knowing that I had no control over my own life, atleast not when I'm under my adoptive parent's roof, I calmed myself down, before approaching the Estate's main door.
Lenora was waiting for my arrival in the sitting room, her eyes following my every movement with her usual reproachful gaze.
It only lasted for a spilt second before her dazzling smile appeared back on her face. "Caera, my dear", she said as she walked towards me.
"How are you? Where did you get hurt? Vritra forbid, if anything happens to you I—"
"I'm fine, Lenora. I was a bit careless during my training, although I can only blame myself", I cut her off, with my cold tone.
She flinched, her eyes turning into a glare. But she quickly recovered, before a smile appeared on her face.
My mind suddenly started to fill with the sour memories of our previous meeting. When Grey and I had come to meet my adoptive parents, Lenora had taken me to have a private conversation, away from the professor.
She had given me an ultimatum to either make Grey useful for our blood, or simply let the professor go. Seeing that Grey hadn't been doing anything "exceptional", my adoptive parents had decided that it's time to move on from their failure to lure the man in.
Maybe it was my fault, I thought; remembering that the reports I had been feeding my adoptive parents were simply fabricated, to not let Grey get into any trouble.
Never would I have imagined that it would backfire.
Seeing my cold facade, Lenora gave a look of disapproval. "Oh don't look at me like that, dear. Your father has pulled several contacts from our circles to find you a proper suitor. Please, do not mess this up, for our blood's sake".
Turning to Nessa, who was standing in the corner of the room, she spoke "Nessa, take her to her room and make sure she looks presentable for our guest... And, don't be long."
Nessa deeply bowed, before she walked towards me, "Lady Caera, please" —she gestured me to walk with her to my room.
I shot one last look at Lenora, who avoided my gaze before leaving the room.
Lauden came in strolling right after Lenora left. He had a drink in his hand, which he gulped down in one sip as he spoke "So, sis, how did you get hurt? —he grinned— "did you go to the relictombs with your boyfriend again?"
I felt my body stiffen at his words and my face turn red. "Mind your business, Lauden." I said in a cold tone, that I could muster up at his sudden words. Hoping that he hadn't seen my reaction, I walked hastily to my room, followed by Nessa.
Lauden's words echoed in my mind, as a sad smile crept up on my face, which turned into a soft chuckle. I felt ridiculous at the thought of Grey having interest in any women.
But— I couldn't help but think about how much our relationship has changed— how much I've changed, ever since my conversation with Lenora. I'm not the one to pine for any man, but— Grey... He's special. I knew that.
I wasn't sure if I was ready to give it all up.
The thought of losing my chance to spend time with the man made my heart sink.
***
"Lady Caera, please lay down", Nessa said as she removed my clothes before making me sit inside the bathtub.
The steam rising from the hot water made the flowers and spices emanate a suffocating scent in the bathing room. My body relaxed as the soothing sensation of hot water spread throughout my skin, making me sink down the tub.
I heard Nessa's faint giggle, making me open my eyes to focus on her. I noticed that she was looking at my chest. I followed her gaze to see that she was actually looking at the pendant...
"So, I take it that the ascender-professor gifted you that..." my personal attendant said with a grin, her demenor more causal at the absence of my adoptive mother.
My body shifted uncomfortably while my hand unconsciously grabbed the pendant at her words. But I kept my silence, not knowing what to say to her.
She laughed. "I read that a man only gifts jewellery to a woman, if he really likes her and feels committed."
I felt my face turn red in embarrassment, but for what reason, I didn't know. "It's not. And stop reaching such cringe novels, Nessa". I dismissed her words, hoping she wouldn't pry any further.
Grey hadn't gifted me anything, I thought.
It was still a surprise to me that he had actually accepted the gift from that lecherous woman. My face turned deep red at all the vulgar things she had shared with me during our stay in the relictombs.
I couldn't help but think about Grey again.
After spending a long time with the man at the academy, my feelings for him had started to slowly settle down and— it seemed more of a curiosity than romantic.
But— when Lenora had asked me to make an ultimatum, I felt myself crumble at the thought of losing him suddenly.
Was it because of losing my chances at learning more about the secrets of the relictombs?... Or is it because that I might never be able to do that again with Grey by my side?
Why do I feel afraid of being alone?...
Spending all my life living among the people, who never really cared for me for the right reasons; and having to hide my true self away from all the eyes... Grey was an unexpected surprise in my life.
Atleast he had been caring for my well-being. And I could be myself at his presence, I thought.
I hated myself for not knowing my own feelings towards the man. My hands caressed the pendant as my mind replayed the memory of Grey wrapping it around my neck; and the first mental link we had shared.
To say that I have been dying to get inside his mind, would be an understatement. But the heartless professor had been adamant about taking the pendant off right after our descension.
It took me a quite a lot of effort to change his mind, saying that this could be a way to test to make sure that the pendant can work while separated by a large distance.
I sighed at my own helplessness.
This pendant could be my chance to know more about my feelings towards Grey. And... about his towards me.
I owe it to myself atleast this much, I thought with determination.
Nessa's voice brought me back to myself. "Lady Caera, please get up." She supported my arms as I carefully stood from the bathtub and stepped out.
She wrapped a heavy towel around my wet body, while taking another to dry my hair. A soft knock at the door made her stop.
"Go see who it is", I said, as Nessa put the towel down from her hand and left the bathing room. "I'll be out by myself", I added, wanting to be left alone with my own thoughts, before having to meet Corbett and the guest.
I walked in front of the large mirror that was placed against the side wall.
Letting the towel drop on to the marble floor, I looked at my own reflection. Water drops dribbled from my skin forming a large puddle around me, while my hair clung wetly to my head and shoulders.
My hands caressed the pendant absentmindedly... the only thing on my bare body, while my mind went back to the night when Grey and I had shared the same bed.
I couldn't help but think about the way Grey looked at me, when I wore that— scanty clothing.
Did he like how I looked? Does he think I'm attractive? I pondered... as my fingers stopped caressing the pendant around my neck and slowly ran against my bare chests down to my abdomen... I stopped, as my breathing became heavy as the seconds passed. I resisted the urge to go any further, knowing that I had much to deal with right now. Why are you doing this to me, Grey? I asked, while resisting the urge to imbue mana into the pendant and ask the man himself.
My brief sense of euphoria was cut short when a soft knock resounded, followed by Nessa's voice. "Lady Caera, it's time. The High lord is waiting for your presence."
Calming myself down, I hurriedly put on the dress before leaving the bathing room.
Walking down the carpeted hallway leading to the main living hall, I passed by several other rooms. Nessa was leading me from the front, her eyes glancing over her shoulders, towards me from time-to-time.
She looked nervous, knowing that I had taken my sweet time, despite Lenora's warning, which would only make Corbett angry... which is exactly what I wanted.
Soon we approached the large sized double doors that were decorated with golden trims that framed the precious stones embedded inside the panels on its wooden surface. Nessa opened the door for me to enter, when the sounds of conversation between my father and the familiar man was heard.
"Lady Caera is here." Nessa bowed to the two highbloods before stepping aside to stand in the corner.
Corbett and the young Vritra-highblood, both stood up from their seats and looked at me; although each carried different expressions. While Corbett's face had a deep frown showing his displeasure at my tardiness, the highblood had a smug smile, just like how he had when he barged into my room back at the Central Academy.
Corbett's frown soon turned into a forced smile as he spoke in his usual businesslike tone "Lord Mike, this is my daughter, Lady Caera. I'm sure you have met her in the Central Academy." He turned back to me. "Caera, this is Mike of Highblood Rotchburns. He is here to meet you and ta—"
"Is this really necessary, father? There is nothing to talk between us. We have already met and I don't intend to continue with that any more." I coldly stated, interrupting Corbett.
His face twitched in anger as a nerve bulged from his forehead. "Caera, my dear, you mustn't make such decisions with haste. Talk to each other. Take your time. I shall leave you both alone so you can speak freely with each other."
I seethed on the inside, but kept my face stone-cold, while Corbett left me alone with the highblood.
"Lady Caera, I apologise for my previous behaviour. Let us start from the beginning. What do you say?" I turned to see the highblood man bowing, as he spoke in a plain tone devoid of any human emotions.
Feelings of rage and helplessness over took me, both emotions warring at each other. I knew I was nothing more than a glass sculpture; a trophy to be handed over to some wealthy, powerful and capable highblood; finally relinquishing my blood of the looming threat that my presence as a potential Vritra-blood brings to them.
"Lady Caera, mind if we sit down and talk over a cup of tea?", the highblood man asked with his hand lifted towards me. Giving him a look of disdain, I walked past him and sat on the leather seat, and waited for this 'joke of a meeting' to get over.
The highblood man flinched at my actions, but he quickly hid his surprise before following me, to sit on the chair opposite of mine.
He kept rambling about his latest achievements in the relictombs, which I ignored.
I felt myself zoning off, completely ignoring the existence of the man in front of me.
For some reason, my mind went back to Grey. I had hoped that his presence would give me a breathing-space, to shield myself from these uncomfortable meetings.
My hand unconsciously reached for the pendant, clutching it tightly as if my life depended on it.
I felt myself feeling a bit better doing that.
Moments passed with my hand wrapped around the pendant.
Unable to resist any longer, I imbued mana into the pendant. My heart thumped faster, as I tried to keep my emotions on check, not wanting to let my true feelings seep into our mental link...
'Caera?'
My heart almost stopped at an instant, hearing his voice inside my head. It still felt like a dream— a pleasant dream, to be able to hear his voice and feel his emotions in such an — intimate way.
'Grey!', my lips twitched as they curved up into a wide smile, almost to the point of being silly.
'I see that you're happy to talk to me', Grey said, while I felt his amusement through our mental link.
'Yes. You have no idea.' I replied, while my mind went from the constant helplessness that I felt all day, to the one of true happiness.
'Is it that bad?', he asked. I could feel his uncertainty reaching out to me.
***
Hours passed as Grey and I shared a long mental conversation, while we talked about each other's day.
I told him about my current predicament, partly to see his reaction; also to feel better sharing it with a friend. It was much more than we've ever shared about each other's feelings, but it just felt natural to do so.
Maybe it was the effect of the pendant or maybe because we've gotten closer, I didn't know. But being able to feel and share such innate things, without any words... it felt truly satisfying.
The man was very caring, to the point where he had actually consoled me. Despite all his teasings about my potential betrothal, I felt his emotions waiver... albeit slightly, which, I took as a good sign.
Feeling refreshed, I finally snapped back to the colourless reality that surrounded me. I looked at the highblood man with focused eyes for the first time since our conversation had started.
His foolishness knew no bounds, as he gave a ear-to-ear smile, his face showing satisfaction; probably mistook my actions as a result of his own, I thought.
"I'm afraid I must take my leave now. Since the bestowment ceremony is coming up, there are lot of things to prepare.", I lied, with a forced smile before standing up and giving him a small curtsy.
His smile didn't falter, as he bowed deeply. "Thank you, Lady Caera, truly. I hope we can meet again like this. Perhaps even go on an ascent toge—"
"Yes, ofcourse. But I'm afraid I might be busy for the rest of the year. As you would know, Victoriad takes place after the bestowment ceremony. Not to forget about the annual assessments. Vritra forbid, if I would find any free time..." I said with a disappointed face.
The highblood man's eyes widened. "Vritra's horns! How could I forget about that! Maybe I will enroll in the wargames!"
I bit back a smirk at the man's naïveté. While a part of me hoped he would get enrolled and perhaps— get killed, I thought icily.
After exchanging some forced niceties with the highblood man at his exit, I was left alone.
Not wanting to stay under the constant eyes of my adopted parents and answer their questions, I left the Estate in haste before giving them my usual, perfunctory farewell.
***
It was already late in the evening when I had stepped inside the carriage. The cold wind bit on me during the travel, forcing me to cover myself with a robe and a layer of mana.
After taking in a series of deep breaths, I felt the suffocating feeling that had haunted me the whole day, finally leave my body. Letting the calmness envelope me, I sat back to enjoy the ride to the academy.
Despite the cold loneliness of the carriage, I didn't feel alone.
The thought of lying against Grey's chest popped up in my mind, due to the familiar setting around me.
My body shivered as I felt off my guard, due to the sudden memory.
I found myself thinking about Grey, a lot, lately. Maybe I'm spending too much time with him, I pondered, before shaking that thought away.
Grey...
I felt my face turn red in embarrassment, at what I almost did in the morning... I couldn't help but ponder about the questions that has been eating away my sanity.
What do I feel about Grey?
It would be foolish of me to think that I see him just as a friend. Nor to accept that I have romantic feelings for him.
But I also realised that the only way I could understand this feeling, is to be bold; and express myself more. It will be an understatement to say that the man might run away, if I ever tried to overwhelm him with my actions. That is who he is, I sighed at that thought.
That feeling of uncertainty churned my insides. Not knowing him wholly, made me feel unsettled.
I'm not going to give up— nor give in— not until he tells me about his past, I declared to myself.
My mind started to plan on the best way to keep myself attending the Central Academy by Grey's side, and to keep my adoptive parents satisfied at the same time.
Minutes passed as my mind twirled around, due to the all the different plans that I created. Before I could realise, the familiar black-iron gate came into view, indicating that I had finally reached the Central Academy.
But my attention was drawn to the man standing in front of the black gate.
I froze for a moment, in disbelief, before I recovered.
My lips formed a wide smile almost instantly at the sight of the man. He stood there with a straight posture and his hands rested behind his back. The white robes covered his sides, while his blue coat underneath, had the academy's symbol etched on it. His black pants and white undershirt contrasted each other, as they fit his athletic built perfectly.
His figure so confident and regal, his wheat-blond hair tousled against the wind, caressing his handsome face.
Everyone around the academy was looking at him, their gazes filled with either in awe or envy.
But, he wasn't looking at anyone of them, I noticed.
His unwavering gaze was fixed on the carriage I was in, as I walked out of it.
Every step I took, towards him, made me feel like myself, as it took over the 'false self', that I wore as a disguise in front of everyone else. I finally felt the sense of relief and happiness wash over me, at his mere presence.
Our gazes were fixed on each other, the entire time, as if nothing else existed around us.
His golden eyes, glowed bright, against the moon light, as he studied my face with much care.
I felt the urge to leap into his arms and stay there. But, I held back.
Smiling wide at him, I spoke, as he returned my gesture with a bright smile of his.
"Grey"