I finally opened my mouth and uttered the words: "I'll promise."
I could see how relieved Jeremy became but the me in that moment didn't know what to do more but the me right now… well there were a lot of things I could do but I did none of them. Regretting the past doesn't help me but I can't just let all go. I wish I had hugged him to show him, I wanted his help so much. I wish…
My mind was exhausted after those hatred and anxiety that were piling up inside me. The muscles on my face were tired, either. I didn't have enough strength to move the muscles and change my facial expression. But, for the first time, Jeremy wasn't nagging me to smile and look happy. He understood me.
Without saying anything he grabbed my shoulders and took me somewhere else. We were passing shops, houses, and I had no idea where we were going. As we were passing by, lights tended to become fewer and fewer until we reached the destination and Jeremy stopped.
It was a park drowned in silence. With the moon guiding our way, and fireflies over our heads, we went in and walked for no destination. The green color of the grass had become darker than what it was in daylight but due to the moonlight, it could've been seen. It had such a nice color, the color of life. I closed my eyes and breathed in. The smell of grass without accompanying polluted air was incredible. Jeremy was doing the same thing as if he was showing me what to do, but I could enjoy the nature, even though other things about me were in a big mess, nature was something I could enjoy and love. It was all because I had trusted nature.
Even though nature was the one who brought humans, even though it was the one who made things out of control after the pandemic of covid-19, even though I missed and lost so many things because nature was just angry at human beings, I had faith in it. Even though I was another member of the food chain and were to die after a specific time, even though nature was counting down to kill me, I trusted it. Even for a short time, it could give me joy and I was drunk on it.
We opened our eyes and enjoyed the scenery one more time. We sat on a bench, we found when wandering around.
Jeremy held my hand and looked at me. He was caressing my hand. Despite being a criminal, he was gentle. I had just stared at him; I was somehow fond of him caressing my hand. No matter what he did, it all started to feel so precious to me. I wanted to hold time and live in that moment forever. If I had known how things would have turned out to be, I would have embraced that moment more and enjoy it more than anything.
Jeremy: You're not stopping me?! What a nice surprise!
And again, Jeremy talking and me refusing to answer. It would have been awesome, If I had opened my mouth, if I had gathered all my courage and had told him even a quick response. If only I wasn't such a dirt bag. He continued: Do you like this place?
-Yeah.
Jeremy: What do you exactly like about this place?
-It's soothing.
Jeremy: Are you a pacifist?
-No.
Jeremy: Why don't you like peace? With peace ruling our society, you won't have to be angry anymore, because the reason of your rage is gone.
-Peace is just a childish dream, it's not real as long as humans are alive, earth will never face such thing.
Jeremy: Then, you want war? Conflicts? Disputes?
-No, I never wanted them in the first place.
Jeremy: You make me confused, then what do you want?
I averted my eyes from him, then replied: Life?!
Jeremy: You never stop amusing me.
-The world is a mysterious place; I've told you before to get your heart ready.
Jeremy: Thanks for your advices. There has been something, occupying my mind recently. Why didn't you oppose us when we made you join us?
-Are you feeling guilty of having me here?
Jeremy: It's not guilt. I needed your assistance. It's just….
-Don't blame yourself for me behaving like this. Blame the world, the universe, those miscreant.
Jeremy: Why do you hate the world that much?
-Don't push your luck, I'm gonna win the bet.
Jeremy: Hey!
-Did I catch you? Better luck next time.
Jeremy: And here I thought, I was helping. Uh! Kids these days are rascals.
We went back and I headed to bed, and another day passed. My life was always in rush but after meeting Jeremy, it felt like the lord of time had been doing me the favor of helping me to enjoy.
The next day and the other days came and left, and day by day I was getting stronger and friendlier with Jeremy. Other members became acquainted with me and my circle of friends started to grow. I still was the same as before. In front of others, I was this cold and cruel girl whose bloodlust was seen even from far distances, but when I was alone with Jeremy, I had started to talk more and laugh more. As time passed by Jeremy, started to tell me about my responsibilities.
There were other people who joined after me and they were all Wulfsige's students. On their first day, they all were sent to hospital. He never changed his attitude. Since I had no interest of revealing my weaknesses, I never complained and trained harder than anyone and in no time, I made my way to the organization and became an essential member. It was still too early to say I was a member because I hadn't attended outside missions.
One day Jeremy called me to his office and I got aware of my first mission.
Jeremy: Oh my Raven, look how far have you gone. I'm just super happy for you.
-You're not my dad, drop the act.
Jeremy: Even after a year you still refuse to respect me as your elder.
As he was laughing he told me to sit down and said: It was quite a long time. Once you set your foot outside, working here, within these walls, it won't fun anymore.
-So what am I supposed to do?
He gave a picture of a man and continue: This man is causing us some troubles. He's been misusing our people. Next week he will be out of town for another business which is going to bother us.
-What kind of business?
Jeremy: He's in charge of the custom house and have been holding back our goods, and he has hurt some of our people and most importantly, he wants to blackmail us.
-So?
Jeremy: I want you to find him with all documents he has against us. Get rid of everything and bring back our goods safely.
-Ok. What's his name?
Jeremy: He's Edward Myra.
-How far am I allowed to go?
Jeremy: Don't kill him, threaten him, we need him.
-Alright.
Jeremy: While his away, he can't control his territory well so use against him and stop him from doing the other business I mentioned.
-Ok.
Jeremy: I'll be counting on you to avenge our fellow members. And there's one more thing, I can't join you. You'll be going with team 26.
-Will I be working under their order or not?
Jeremy: No, you have to lead this operation. You gotta show the organization who you are. Team 26 is only there to help you. I have contacted them to make things ready for your departure. Anymore question regarding this case?
-Am I allowed to show my face?
Jeremy: Oh! I forgot to tell you. You can't show your face unless the target is killed. Conceal your face properly and don't leak any information about yourself. He's quite dangerous in this matter.
-Ok.
Jeremy: I think it's better not to reveal your face as member of us. We can't really predict the future so be careful.
As we were talking, Jeremy got a phone call and I was asked to leave for the target. Jeremy told me to be careful and come back in one piece.
Team 26 had twenty-six members, which was a funny fact for me. I didn't know them, and I learned they were like the shadows of the organization. They were Jeremy's secret power. They were the members who had given up on mercy and would even kill children. The case was an important one and I had to do my best or the organization would have gotten big damages.
And came the time to leave for my first mission.