His side hurt so much so Jud had a hard time sleeping. Part of it was because Luke had accidentally pressed his hand into the wound trying to get as close to him as possible. The pressure had opened up whatever he'd been patched up with, and he'd bled through the bandage. He'd gotten up to clean up and fix it.
That had taken a few minutes to do, but he had a clean bandage on and he was completely clean. He hadn't fully showered. His hair was clean and he didn't smell like a three day old sweat.
Luke was still asleep. He was on his belly with his arms tucked under his pillow. His shoulders rose and fell slowly as he slept deeply. Jud wondered how long he had stayed awake after he'd gotten the officer back to his house. When he'd come in with the food, he had looked completely worn out. Then he'd taken that brief nap. It hadn't been too long so he had been cranky.
Jud sat on the edge of the bed then ran his hand up and down Luke's broad back. Sometimes he was still amazed that such an influential man was with him. Luke had his choice of anyone, and yet he chose Jud. it wasn't a one sided choice; Jud had chosen him as well, but it wasn't the same. Jud wasn't classified as the most eligible bachelor in the city.
Luke didn't move despite most of the times being a light sleeper. He was exhausted. Even the little snore that came out was unusual. Jud couldn't help the smile that turned his lips. He leaned down and kissed the middle of his back then got up.
He went to check the food. It was still a little warm, but the top of the porridge was a little hard. He ran some hot water in the sink and let the bowl sit in it for a few minutes. It was steaming when he pulled it out and drained the water.
Luke had several documents on his desk. Jud sat down and ate as he looked over the papers. They weren't very important so he didn't feel bad looking at them. Most of them were documents for housing and vehicles. Was he getting ready to move? Or was he looking to branch out into real estate and car retail? It only made sense. He didn't make rash decisions without discussing it with his father.
As he looked closely at the addresses for the houses, they were around the same area as his townhouse. Was Luke looking to branch out from the family and live on his own? Many of their members lived around the same area of the mansion, so why would he move across town?
Two hands trailed down his shoulders and over his chest. He felt a face press against his cheek followed by a set of kisses before the arms wrapped around his arms under Jud's neck. Jud continued eating and looking through Luke's documents. Luke didn't seem to be concerned so he held him tightly.
When his legs were tired, he pulled the chair back from the desk and sat in Jud's lap. Jud set his bowl on the desk so he could hold Luke's back. Luke rested his forehead in Jud's neck and watched him pick up each paper.
"Are you planning on moving?" he asked.
"I've thought about it, but I'm not sure I have enough cash flow to purchase a house," Luke said.
Jud finished off his porridge then set the bowl aside. He held Luke against him, bringing each paper up closer so they both could look at them. He understood what Luke was doing, but a part of him wondered why he didn't talk to him first.
"You could have asked if we wanted to live together," he said.
"Until now, no one has known we were together. I stayed there several nights a week, but it was easier to say I was staying at the club. It was a lot closer than the main house," Luke replied.
The officer ran his fingers over Luke's face, turning it up so he could look at him. Blue eyes stared into green-grey eyes. Luke lifted his face and connected their lips. He kissed him gently at first then with more passion. He stood and turned his body, settling on the older man's lap as his arms went around his neck.
Jud's hands spanned Luke's back as they held each other tightly. Luke's fingers gently tugged at Jud's hair, tangling securely in it. He used the tip of his tongue to lick inside Jud's mouth, tasting every bit of him. Every ounce of longing came out then, as well as relief and desire. He had thought he would never see him again after he saw him get shot on the street. Now he was in his room looking over his private papers. If it didn't get any more personal than this, he wasn't sure what would happen.
Jud rolled the chair forward and set Luke on the edge of the desk. Luke straightened his back and allowed the man to press his face into his neck. He smelled like sweat and sleep but Jud didn't seem to mind. Luke propped his feet on the chair as Jud pressed his body into Luke's. His lips trailed down his neck to his chest, nibbling lightly on his skin. Luke felt his tongue trail across his skin, swirling in small circles every so often.
"Luke," he murmured. The man in question flinched as Jud suckled his nipple then lapped at it gently. "Once this is all over, consider moving in with me. You already live there basically."
Luke frowned even as his body betrayed him. He could feel his groin reacting even though he knew there was no way they could do anything. Jud was hurt and he couldn't use him for sex only. But Luke felt a little overwhelmed.
"Luke?" Jud reached into his pants and gripped his blooming erection. "What do you say?"
"Your hand is dangerous, and using sex against me is a low blow," Luke whined. He fidgeted in the other man's lap.
Jud chuckled. "If it's a low blow you want, I'll gladly give it to you."
Just as he was about to dip his head down, there was a knock at the door. Luke made an exasperated noise as Jud rested his head against his chest. The older man removed his hand so the younger could get up to answer the door. Luke walked across the room and wrenched it open, preparing to yell at whoever had the gall to interrupt his moment.
His balloon popped when he saw Amos and Lou standing there. He groaned then stepped back to allow them entry. Lou was smart by bringing coffee with him, but his smile told Luke he knew what they had been doing.
"I'm glad to see you're awake," Amos said. He sat in the high back chair across from the desk. Lou set the tray on it and stepped back so they could help themselves. "Do you feel any pain?"
Jud stirred his coffee then took a sip. "Not as much as I did when I first woke up. I changed the bandage and showered so I feel a bit better."
Luke sat on the corner of the desk. He lifted his hand to rub Jud's shoulder. "You should have woken me up. I would have helped."
"You were exhausted so I didn't want to bother you." Jud watched Amos closely, noting the look on his face. "Have you found out anything that I don't know?"
"The Saints were after you," Amos said. Jud looked at him as Luke's fingers dug into his skin. The older man saw, and the muscles in his face twitched. "Before your friend raided my business, I overheard the one who infiltrated talk about how they were after bigger fish. A royal fish at that. My bartender entertained him long enough to get the information that it was the lover of the royal fish. Then my door was bashed in."
"I don't understand why," Luke said. "Why would they shoot him?"
"He's a cop, Luke," Lou reminded. "And your lover at that. He will be a target. You're lucky he was shot among his cop friends. They were able to get him help instead of him dying in the street."
"Speaking of which," Jud interrupted, "how in the hell did you get me discharged to your house?"
"We released a statement in conjunction with the police." Amos took control of the conversation again. "We said we were working with the police to take down an alleged drug deal going on in our businesses. In the process, unfortunately a cop was a casualty. We left it open ended on our side."
"Myka said the police told others I was dead to make sure no one came looking for me."
The older Meyers nodded. "I can understand why. Although I do not disapprove of this relationship, many in our organization may not look on it kindly. Others definitely see it black or white. The white version is the cop works for us, and the black is the cop does everything to hinder the way the organization works. Luckily for us, you have been kind enough to give us notice when we cross your desk."
Jud learned back in his chair, adjusting at the gentle tug in his side. Luke pressed his hand to the bandage to ease the pain. "Our agreement was I wouldn't ask how the business ran as long as your names never came across my desk."
"Did they?" Lou asked.
"Only this one time, and I thought we had settled in. Then this happened." He placed his hand over Luke's and tightened his fingers. "But I get a feeling there is more to this story than we thought."
"Your shooter was at The Mixer tonight." Jud frowned at him. "Raymond ran some facial recognition on the guy. He's not a Saint, so he was outsourced to take you out. He was bragging that he killed the cop the Kings were keeping on retainer."
"Who was he?"
Lou pulled out his phone and pulled up something. "Do you know the name Eddy Jones?" Jud thought a moment then shook his head. "He was ex-special forces just like you."
"Special forces is not an umbrella term. There are different groups trained to go into different terrains. I was initially trained to go to Stuttgart, Germany, but was transferred to the Middle East where I spent the majority of my time. Half of what I did is still confidential. We don't all know each other, but if we fight, we can definitely tell how the other was trained because of the skillset."
"Raymond couldn't delve any further than the special forces knowledge. He ran into red tape."
"That's not unusual. Either he was a part of some top secret mission, or he was dishonorably discharged during one of them. Or on the extreme side, he went off grid and no one knows where he lives or does now."
"He's a contracted killer it seems. A modern day Hessian."
Luke frowned. "What does that mean?"
"The Hessians were attached to the British army during the American Revolution," Jud explained. "It's a term used for someone who comes from a certain place and is used for auxiliary purposes."
Luke didn't like they were talking over his head, but until now he didn't really know how much Jud understood. If there was another special forces member working for the Saints, it would make sense for his knowledge to come into play. But he didn't know that it would make him feel like he was missing information.
He looked at Jud closely. He had known he was well-versed in several walks of life. He knew he would know more than they would about certain things. But it took almost losing him to realize he didn't know anything about him. After four years, he didn't know about his family, what he'd done in the military, or what he planned to do after he retired from the police force. He didn't know anything.
But he knew how he felt about him, and from what he'd said, Jud had reciprocated. He didn't want to lose him. He watched on the sidelines as he was shot and had wanted it to be him. The world could do without him, but Jud was so different than he was. He actually had a life outside of this place and city.
Jud's hand tightened on his and his thumb rubbed gentle circles over the back of it. Luke looked down at him, but he wasn't looking up. Jud was very reserved when he was in front of everyone else. He didn't feel the need to be overly affectionate when with other people. Those who knew they were together had to take it or leave it. He would never be lovey dovey around others. Luke wondered briefly how it would be if someone actually hit on him.
Amos watched the look on his son's face and understood what he was feeling. If he didn't think he was getting enough attention or if he felt as if Jud was hiding him because he was embarrassed, Luke would feel slighted. But his father had seen how much Jud truly appreciated and cherished his son, and he didn't think he was going through the motions.
"Should we come back?" he asked. He looked at the hand holding his son's. "It seems you have some things to discuss."
"No, Dad, it's fine. Who knows that Jud's alive?" Luke changed the topic.
"Only a select few of us in the family, Jud's team, and the higher ups in the police know. We wanted to keep a small circle just in case it leaks. We can contain it if that happens." He stood and patted his son's knee. "You should get as much rest as you possibly can. I'll send dinner up later."
Jud leaned his head back and sighed. Then he looked up only to see Luke's chin and up his nose. He reached up and ran his fingers along his jawline.
"Are you okay?" he asked. Luke nodded but didn't say anything. "Shall we continue before we were so rudely interrupted?"
Luke pulled away and grabbed the dirty bowl from the desk. Jud watched as he walked over to the dresser and put it back on the tray. The way he moved said he was upset but about what Jud wasn't sure.
He got up and crossed the room to the other man. He reached for Luke, turning him around and pulling him to him. Luke's eyes crossed as he looked up quickly. He took a minute to look up into Jud's face, his own relaxing instantly. Jud took that as a good sign. He brought his hand up to grip the back of his neck and hauled him in.
Luke gasped into the kiss, letting Jud take advantage of it. He pulled the other man flush against him until the only daylight between them was that small space when they shifted their heads. Their tongues warred with each other for a long time, even more when saliva dripped down the side of Luke's mouth.
Jud pulled away, stepping back to pull Luke with him to the bed. But Luke didn't move. Jud stopped when he felt the resistance and looked at Luke.
"Maybe you should rest some more," he said. Jud frowned at him. "Maybe I'm acting weird, but I don't want to hurt you. It's only been three days since you were shot."
Jud sighed and stepped closer. "Are you traumatized after seeing that?"
Luke rubbed the back of his head. "A little. Sometimes I see it when I close my eyes. I just have to remind myself that you're alive."
"Come here." Luke walked into Jud's arms willingly, pressing his face into the taller man's shoulder. He felt his artery thumping under his forehead, telling him the man was alive. "All you have to do is say you don't want to have sex. I'm fine with laying in the bed just holding you."
"Jud?" He paused because the next answer may destroy his world if it was not the one he wanted. "When you said you loved me, did you mean it?"
Jud blinked slowly as understanding blossomed in his chest. Luke was scared. He was scared he was making a mistake, and he was scared he was going to lose Luke because of his family.
"Luke, you can wonder what color I like or what my favorite food is, but don't ever wonder if I love you. I have loved you since the day I met you even though we weren't sure where we would end up."
Luke smiled against his neck then genly bit over his artery. He felt Jud laugh. When he pulled away, he gently pushed Jud towards the bed. The older man didn't argue and went back to bed. He propped his head up on his arm and watched as Luke gathered the tray.
The younger man smiled at him as he opened the door. He flipped off the light and left the room. He sighed once he pulled the door closed then stared at a spot in the floor. He had that one thing off his shoulders, but now he had to figure out one other thing. For that, he needed to talk to his father.