Amos was in the kitchen making dinner like he said he would. Luke set his empty bowls in the sink and ran water in them. He stared at them for a long time, completely lost in thought.
His father watched him closely. He had always known Luke was a gentle soul. He had never had to deal with the dirty deeds Amos and Lou did, even Raymond on occasion. The only reason he was still in the family was because he loved his father and friends. But even with those strong emotions, this life was not easy on him.
In the four years he'd been with Jud, Luke had softened. He was never hard to begin with, but loving someone who was not in this life made him the most reasonable person in the kings. He could talk with people where others couldn't. It made him a valuable asset. But it also made him a target even more than being Amos Meyers' son.
Luke had been the actual target. Someone in South Bay wanted to use him to get Amos to capitulate. Amos refused to deal drugs in his area. He had done that once when Luke had been a child, and it had cost him the life of his brother and someone else he held dear. After that, he'd sold the drugs and its pipeline to a different peddler and opened his first club. Since then, he was very meticulous when it came to this topic. No drugs were to be distributed in his domain.
This whole scenario was just a repeat of twenty years ago. Except this time, it was Luke who had everything to lose. If Jud died, his son would lose the one thing that ment the most to him. Amos had never seen him so happy, and he would do whatever he could to make sure his son stayed that way.
Luke ran the water in the sink and started washing dishes. He needed something to do with his hands. His mind was too busy running a marathon, and he was afraid he would do something disastrous if he didn't get the fidgeting under control.
Amos's gaze on his son was acute. He wasn't sure what was going on in his head. Luke was a deep thinker and always had been. He would try to figure things out before he did anything. It made him a smart thinker in their organization, and that was the main reason Amos trusted him when he wanted to open a new business. Luke knew people, and he knew what would be beneficial and what would not.
For a bit, Amos thought it was because Luke was gay. He had known all about the gentlemen he had hooked up with in his club. He got a backup copy of the security footage, and he had seen everything. But as time went on and Luke's businesses became more lucrative, he realized it wasn't only because he was gay. That was part of it, but Luke valued people. He would rather give people a place to be themselves than force them to adhere to society's status quo. It was why he opened a host bar that catered to the entirety of the LGBTQIA community. As long as they followed his rules within the club, they were free to do and be who they wanted.
"Dad?" Luke said. His voice was low. Amos couldn't decide if it was because he was worn out or he didn't want anyone to hear. Except Lou. Lou was always where Amos was. They were a package deal. "Do you know who the mole is?"
"Why are you sure I know?" Amos asked. He wanted to keep his response as ambiguous as possible. Sometimes having Luke figure things out by talking to him was easier on him than outright saying anything.
"You always know." Luke dried his hands then turned to his dad. Out of the corner of his eye, Amos saw the hurt and panic in his blue eyes. "Who tried to kill Jud? Please tell me."
He stirred the pot. "You know I can't."
"Why not? Because you're afraid I'll get hurt? I'm smart enough to stay out of it. I just want to know who tried to gouge out my heart."
Amos turned the burner off and slid the pot to a pot holder on the counter. "I need you to take care of your heart. That's why I can't tell you."
"Dad, that's a shitty reason." Luke's hands shook as he held them in front of him. He stared at them, his mind going back three days. "I watched him get shot. How am I supposed to forget that?"
"You're not, son, but if you walk around angry, you may tip them off that he's still alive." He took his son's hands and held them tightly. He waited until Luke looked up at him. "The only one I trust to take care of the kind captain is you. If anyone finds out he's alive, the plan will fail."
"Are you saying I'm a loose cannon?"
Amos heard the crack in Luke's voice. He was so scared of losing everything, but most importantly, he was scared of losing Jud. He heard him call him his 'heart.' That meant Luke would do everything to keep him safe.
He lifted his hands and held his son's face.
Luke looked up at him, and the tears started flowing. He was overworked and terrified. Lack of sleep hadn't helped either. Now with this added stress, Amos was amazed he was still standing.
"Do you love him?" he whispered.
Luke sniffled and nodded. "With everything I have." He coughed and wiped his nose. "I can't lose him, Dad. Out of everyone I have ever been with, he's the only one who never cared about the money or who I'd been with prior to him."
"Listen to me, son." Luke lifted his gaze until he was looking at him. Amos saw his wife's blue eyes and understood all of his emotions."The only way you can protect him is by listening to me. You are the only one who can watch out for him in the house. Let me take care of those outside."
His son nodded again, wiping his eyes as best as he could. "Please tell me if you need help. I will exhaust everything I possibly can."
"You already have." Amos kissed his son's forehead and ruffled his hair. "Get some rest. If you need anything, call Lou or Raymond."
Luke nodded. He wiped his eyes again then hugged his dad. Amos squeezed him back just as fiercely. When he let go, Luke kept his head down as he turned away and went back to his room.
"His heart is breaking," Amos said. Lou closed the door to the patio softly. "And the only way I can protect him is to make sure he doesn't do anything rash."
"He's overwhelmed. Let him figure it out with the officer. Only he can calm him. Plus, Jud has more resources than we do. If he comes up with a solid plan, we should trust him. You've done all you could, Boss. Now it's time to see what they can do as a couple and as a unit," Lou replied.
Amos nodded and turned to place the second pot on the counter. He'd take it up later. For now, he'd let the two rest.
~~~~~~~
Jud was asleep when Luke returned. He wasn't surprised. His body had taken a major hit when he'd been shot. It needed all the rest it could get to heal.
Luke went to shower. He washed his face to rid it of the tear tracks. If Jud saw them, he would ask a million questions. He didn't want to answer those questions, not right now at least. He wasn't sure if he could.
He put on a pair of underwear and shorts. Then he grabbed a fresh roll of gauze and tape. He couldn't find the triple antibiotic ointment so he grabbed the betadine.
Rubbing alcohol would burn and wake him up.
Luke went to Jud and carefully removed the bandage. He cleaned the spot around the entry wound and incision, careful not to hit the incision or stitches. He cleansed away the gumminess of the former tape and waited until it dried. Then he bandaged it once again and disposed of the soiled ones.
He returned to the bed and sat down. He watched Jud sleep for a long time. He was glad he was alive, but he couldn't help but wonder what would have happened had the bullet hit his heart. He would have died instantly. And what would have happened to Luke?
Overwhelmed, Luke lay down. He got as close to Jud as he could without hurting him. He pressed his forehead into Jud's neck and exhaled shakily. He knew he shouldn't think of the worst, but he'd seen what the worst could do.
An arm tightened around him, pulling him in nice and close. He heard a deep yet sleepy sigh then another arm wrapped around his hip.
"What is it?" Jud's already deep voice was even deeper due to sleep and pain medications.
Luke ran his fingertips over Jud's face as he buried his face deeper into his neck. His breath shuttered out, and he could feel his tears roll down his cheeks.
Jud grunted as he rolled onto his good side. He pulled Luke into his chest and held him. The younger man shook as he let out all the pent up frustrations roll out. Jud could feel the hot tears dampening his skin. His heart broke for Luke, for everything he'd witnessed.
"I thought I'd lost you," Luke whispered. "I watched you twitch and fall on the street. I thought you were gone. Everything that I wanted to accomplish and do with you flashed before my eyes."
Jud tightened his arms as much as he could without hurting himself. "I'm right here."
"At the time, I wasn't sure you'd make it. They took you away, and I thought it would be the last time I saw you. My plans and life went with you in that ambulance."
Luke rambled about his thoughts and fears. He wanted to be with Jud. he'd never felt the way he felt with Jud with anyone else. No one had eased his fears with a simple look as the officer had. That said enough about his character. If he wasn't freaking out, Luke shouldn't either.
He wanted to build a good life with Jud. he wanted to build a house outside of the city and have a huge yard with two to three dogs. Maybe they could even adopt a couple of children and raise them away from the insanity of the mafia. He wanted the life everyone wanted, a life of happiness and ease.
Jud listened to him, slowly realizing Luke was planning their future. He wasn't thinking about the mafia or his future with them. No, Luke wanted to live with Jud no matter what happened. The thought of a house, a yard, dogs, and children made his chest tighten.
He never thought Luke would want all the things Jud did. He had always wanted a house in the suburbs and a family of his own. Up until now, he never thought he'd find someone who would share his ideals. Now more than ever, Jud felt a strong desire to make sure he lived. Not for him, but he wanted to give Luke whatever his heart desired.
Gently, he kissed Luke's forehead. He trailed his kisses along his face until he was able to kiss his lips. Luke made a noise. It wasn't painful. It was more like a sigh of relief. Jud's simple act had silenced his fears momentarily. If he could get him to sleep, he knew Luke would feel so much better.
"Sleep, my dear," he whispered against Luke's lips. He kissed him again. "We can discuss everything in the morning when you're rested."
Luke sighed. "If you need help, call Raymond or Lou. Or even wake me up."
"If I wake you up every time I need to pee, you'll be up all night."
"Judkins." It was a reprimand and a warning.
Jud chuckled. "If I can't get up, I'll wake you up."
Luke knew he wasn't going to get anything more than that. Jud knew he was tired. He hadn't slept much since the night Jud had been shot. He'd been afraid that if he closed his eyes. Jud would disappear. If he slept, he would miss out on things.
Jud rolled onto his back and pulled Luke half atop him. He sighed once and drifted off to sleep almost instantly. Luke watched his still face for a long while. He knew he was right. He was exhausted and his emotions were raw. He rambled when he was slseep deprived, or he did stupid shit. There was no in between.
Luke settled on his side, his arm slung low on Jud's waist. He dug his fingers into his hip to hold him as close as he could. He was uncomfortable but he could bear to be uncomfortable. Jud was here, and he was alive.
Soon the rising and falling of Jud's chest combined with the steady beat of his heart lulled Luke to an even deeper sleep. He could feel Jud's hand rub into his skin as he finally let go of the fear he'd been holding.