What cuts the plot halfway is the Ji family's adoption and rescue from his uncle's hands.
And again, he is conscious of being abandoned. He calmly behaved impeccably and gave Elena what she wanted just as she did with everyone else.
This time, the person he impersonates, the mask he wears is not for himself, but for someone else. The prince of the Ji family, Ji Yun.
This loving woman's treatment of herself with love and affection causes her to lose herself, distractedly making fun of herself. How ironic, his whole life was spent in this way with false truths. And now it has come to the point of stealing someone else's identity.
But somehow, he feels comfortable knowing that everyone but Elena knows he's acting. Perhaps this is the freedom he has not tasted for a long time, the first recognition of his own self. For the first time someone will see him himself, not someone else.
And then, when this is over, when the original person returns and Elena becomes conscious of everything, she is conscious of a reality that no one else has. She has seen what no one else has seen. How helplessly he concealed himself. Knowing that he has wronged her, she is sensitive and willing to pay attention to him just because he is his own. Nanren knows that this is the first time anyone has approached him without expecting any benefit from him. Eyes that have been smiling at someone else while looking at his mask until now now look directly at him and smile. Self-revelation for the first time ignites a small spark.
Therefore, false feelings become reality. Slowly but surely. Without even realizing it...
And because of this, there were times when he had a better relationship with Elena than Yun. Elena was a sensitive and patient woman. She is a woman determined to slowly heal her wounds. A woman willing to cure a hurt child.
Rance, Elena's wife, has always been an intangible person. But Nanren felt his silent support most deeply.
She's not like a father, but that feeling was something he had a hard time expressing, words were insufficient.
Hofan has always been clear. And he has a protective, possessive side towards his own people. He knew that for that reason alone, he had first prosecuted his uncle for his crime when he came to pick him up. It was then that Nanren You felt for the first time what is called justice. As for how he knew about his uncle's crime, Hofan would never do business with an anonymous person, and would never approach someone like Elena who had a direct place in the Ji family.
As a matter of fact, it was researched from the very beginning and found suitable and came to him with a business deal. When this agreement was brought before him that he should behave like his grandson and the child of that woman who thought he was her son, he accepted, thinking that at least his pathetic situation would be relieved.
And...
Even if the contract expired, Hofan would take care of the front. In a way, he was to be raised by this family. Another moment of adoption.
But the Ji family is trustworthy and never asks or expects anything unnecessary or excessive from him. In addition, due to their large family status, they have seen and experienced a lot, and they do not act hypocritically, they accept the reality that people cannot accept. For this reason, the situation he is in over time makes him more stable. But it doesn't feel exactly like where it belongs. Just a little comfy, that's all.
When the main person appeared, it was someone he was looking forward to seeing, he waited eagerly, and when he saw it, he seemed to see in him the courage and ambition to act, this thing called self-confidence.
Yun is a different person than anyone else he has ever seen.
The main reason he has the desire to see her is because he kills someone without hesitation and runs away. This movement is clearly a rebellion against the society it is trying to adapt to. Fearlessly revealing your own self and escaping the problem of your own reality.
He was really different.
It cannot be defined. It wasn't because it was special, it was just a really slightly abnormal difference.
He felt the first time he saw her, that he was sitting in a deadpan spirit when he sank into despair and was willing to die. Yun clearly felt that way, and he had no intention of hiding his feelings at all.
But then suddenly the greed for survival and the sense of striving flared up, growing stronger and stronger. Those hot-blooded eyes nearly scorched his own soul.
Blessed with all white, this person did not make him feel a hypocritical self, perfection or purity. On the contrary, flesh on the bone revealed every ounce of his own self, the complexity of the human being. He saw that the balance of good and evil, black and white, forced them to stay harmoniously together. Neither good nor bad. Nondescript.
He is clearly in turmoil, but in this chaotic he is alive, perfectly standing with his spine straight.
Unlike himself, he does not try to please anyone. He says that even if it hurts him openly, if no one wants him, even his own family, he will turn his back on them with his own pride! He cries and cries inwardly, but in front of everyone he puts on his unique mask and looks as solid, strong, indestructible and mighty as a mountain.
He clearly cares about his family, yet he pushes himself to be strong.
At first sight, maybe he found someone like him but different from him, so he cannot both understand and prevent his desire to be close to her.
Yun has always been honest with him. Because, like the others, he never expected any behavior from him, and for the first time, he was not disgusted with him when he felt his own self. Even as Nanren suffered and disgusted at his own existence, Yun didn't find him strange but ignored it.
On the contrary, he couldn't accept that Yun was so accepting of himself. How did he get involved in illegal business? He thought of both his uncle and those painful moments. But mostly his fear and obsession. That day at the company, Yuna resented, but mostly to herself. Confused, she tasted herself for a moment, actually didn't seem to have as much hysterical personality as she thought, and for a moment she just wanted to admit it. However, he did not dare to do so.
She gradually relaxed and freed herself from the bondage of her soul. Yun, too, clearly saw him as her own brother and didn't seem to care how he was doing. Maybe his self really wasn't as sinful as the world could bear?
Time passed in some confusion, in his inner confusion of thought.
But he wanted to move forward. Developing and changing yourself.
It is as if he sees hope, the future.
The reason was simple, he didn't know why, but he could feel Yu's struggle. Even if he didn't know what he was struggling with at the time. And seeing it and taking courage to step forward...
Without even realizing it, it becomes a source of motivation, a source of breathing. He feels more comfortable and is no different from a harbor where he can rest and take shelter in the reality he has not yet accepted.
Lin Mei is unaware of her mentality until she appears. Then… he becomes jealous and trapped in an unnecessary sense of possessiveness. Knowing that this is wrong, it is tossed this way and that in the sea of emotion, and it seems like a ship in capsizing.
Maybe that's why she is at the peak of her acting career, she has no trouble getting into any of the roles but these are just real in the role she.
When it comes to his own feelings, it is helpless.
And, feeling his feelings for Yuna once again brought him to the brink of collapse.
He was shaken.
It was fundamentally, deeply shaken. He was afraid of himself, of other people, of being disgusted and being targeted.
He tried desperately not to sink.
Until Elena discovered her reality and calmed her chaotic mind.
Yun is clearly a complex existence in her life. He numbs himself to the whole world and pulls something deep between himself and reality in a moment of crisis. Yun has firmly accepted himself and is clearly willing to build a wall between himself and everyone else if the world doesn't accept him!
He is truly powerful and his very presence gives him strength.
He didn't even realize it himself, when did he gain such a place in his life...
But his relationship with Yun is more realistic than other humans, and his existence has clearly become no different than the door that connects his soul to the world.
And...
When he realizes that some good thoughts he supposedly pretend are his. When you feel like you're not actually as disgusting an existence as you thought...
He was clearly changing in a positive way, perhaps no one knew, but he was improving.
Yun scolded him for his low self-esteem and self-confidence and gave him courage. She did things no one else did.
Actually, he apparently didn't care much for her or give advice or anything. But with his actions, he was like an example, a role model.
Anyway, she was making her presence felt heavily in his life as he tasted every strange sensation he could think of.
He saw with his own eyes his journey and change, his sadness and joy, his struggle and struggle, and he got hope, he clung to this hope.
In this way, Nanren has the opportunity to put his chaotic mind in order and to disperse the fog and encounter his own self.
But...
-To be continued-