Nanren inside, contrary to Yun's seriousness, his entire brain is as empty as the universe. He ignorantly leaned against the door and sat down dumbly. He was so speechless that he seemed to have lost his cognitive ability.
After all, what did it mean to dislike girls? Was it really in that sense? Really ?
Or maybe it was just words uttered just to persuade him and get him off the hook?
No, no, Yun wasn't the type to lie to her about it. And why should he lie? He shook his head, and at the thought of the previous situation, he blushed up to his neck, embarrassed enough to want to bury his head in the ground. He had put himself in such a disgraceful situation that if he had been a drooling idiot in front of him in his previous life and formally begging for his love, he couldn't guarantee that he would put an end to this nonsense at once by killing her on the spot with anger and disgust.
Of course, her loved one was different.
Uncertainly, his chest swelled up and he was proud, his Yun wouldn't be as aggressive as him! He would certainly have brought that person to the point of cursing him for up to 18 generations, rather than killing someone he found annoying in one go...
He shuddered suddenly.
He buried his face in both hands and muttered.
"What am I thinking..."
He slowly removed his hands from his face and stared at his empty hands. She pursed her lips and spoke to herself in a harsh tone.
"Nanren, have some self-respect!"
His breathing became shallow, and he pursed his lips and shifted his gaze from his hands to the ground. His head was bowed and he had a sunken appearance. Her mood was low, she felt awkward and bad.
His previous life seems so far away from him and this one is just as close. He does not forget and does not dare to forget.
He has been unlucky since birth. He is separated from his family and thinks himself an orphan for as long as he can remember. She is targeted by others because of her weak and beautiful appearance. It starts right from childhood. Girls get jealous because of her pretty face and she is constantly verbally abused by men. He is around 10 years old when these are happening.
He is lonely as long as he knows himself, so his knowledge in social relations is zero.
Many adoptive families leave him behind within a week. It is a commodity that is used and thrown away again and again. His so-called 'owners' don't like him and the orphanage makes fun of him that no one wants him.
They complicate their work, throwing his food on the floor, tearing his clothes, and throwing all the blame for his mischief on him. He can't even deny it. Nobody believes him.
The lack of self-confidence and inferiority complex instilled from childhood increase exponentially.
It was lucky for him to come across a loving family later on. Unfortunately, the good days did not last long. Apparently, the family is sent to die by his step-uncle. The pain of knowing but not understanding this at a young age, being silent for fear of saying it, and then being devastated when you learn the truth is indescribable. Every night she blames herself and thinks, if she had acted differently, if she hadn't been afraid, would the result have changed?
But no one believed him, and they wouldn't believe him then either...
His uncle kept him out of sight when he took over the family's property. He did not dare to attempt murder again, which was already very suspicious. His family's case, on the other hand, was easily covered up due to his involvement with underground gangs, and the case was made to look like an accident.
His uncle, who was a classic scumbag, had original behaviors that were just like the ones in the movie. He was a liquor addict, violent, tormenting the weak with his vagrant behavior and fearing the strong.
It was as if fate was dragging him step by step into an abyss, into a madness. And he didn't even have the strength to bear it.
The truth must have been around 16 when he entered his blood-related family, but he wasn't sure and couldn't remember exactly. All he knew was that he had an extreme repulsion towards them.
Especially his brother's sensitive behavior towards him was something he had never tasted before outside of that adopted family, which made him even more mad. Because he subconsciously knew, the merciful are powerless and die very quickly. He hates his powerlessness and becomes even more sure of his situation. Why should people be nice to him when someone like him has no reason to be loved?
It was for profit or they were just a big idiot.
He was disgusted with them and wanted to stay away. But the more he saw other happy people with their families, the more he became envious and envious, and longed for it.
He persisted his whole life in a great contradiction. He spent his previous life in a gloomy mood, ignoring people.
He hated his powerlessness and became a tyrant for power in an obsession.
Ironically, he was labeled as the most dangerous man in his past life, unaware of his past in this life, resentful of Yun (for his affiliation with the gang) and naively hating it by remembering his uncle. When he remembers his previous life, he laughed at his stupidity and sighed knowing that he was worse in his previous life.
His mindset is simple, he ignores the ethical and moral rules to get something as long as he wants, he uses the existence of power to the fullest. Maybe it was a way of feeling safe knowing that he had some kind of power...
Either way, no reason changes the outcome and reality of what has been done.
But over time, everyone changes, and like everyone else, he has changed.
Unlike a hopeless and power-obsessed maniac of that time, he has evolved into something different now. It still bears traces of its previous state, but that doesn't mean it's exactly the same.
Being strangely adopted by the current Nanren Ji family, he vaguely saw a glimmer of hope in his state of depression and depression. But it wasn't because of a naive family love affair. The young lady of the Ji family, Ji Elena, is obsessed with her ailing son and recognizes him as the wrong person. Because she was sick, of course, she didn't have any expectation of Elena or the vigilance that she would do any harm. Ji Hofan, on the other hand, has established an honest contracting relationship with him and has come up with an agreement that will benefit both parties. This is a mutual agreement, so he is not afraid of the thought that anyone will do bad deeds. It was a job and emotions had no place here. Interest was favored by both parties.
At the time, he was stunned by Elena's addiction and love for him. He was quite curious. The real child who deserves his love.
He had little news. It's about a stillborn child who miraculously opens his eyes years later.
And he was surprised. Not only did he leave such a large family without batting an eye, he left no trace behind, even though all the police and the city were looking for him. And what's more, she didn't think like the others when she heard about sex. Strangely enough, the only thing that came to mind was how heartbroken this boy was. He was more daring than her, and he had easily done what his uncle had failed to do. He was secretly fascinated by the realization that he could not articulate and that this thought was wrong.
Even if the Ji family adopted him, his thoughts were already shaken and distorted to a certain extent. Therefore, he chose to hide his mentality in silence.
When the person she always wondered about showed up one day, she offered to help him in the hospital, both out of his gratitude and curiosity to the Ji family in some way. When the original came, he wasn't worried about getting fired because Ji Hofan had already secured it by agreement.
He was stunned when he saw the original person. She was really beautiful. Unlike his own, his face was not soft, and even while he was asleep, he felt a vague sense of threat. He was unconsciously driving people to stay away from him. His presence alone seemed to cool the room and bring a sense of pressure.
He'd heard the nurses talk about how cool he was and how beautiful he was as a prince straight out of a comic book. Of course this person was really nice. But the first feeling he gave Nanren was something else.
Its entire scent permeated the room, a soothing scent that dominated its presence but was oddly unobtrusive. It felt fresh and at the same time a little sweet, vaguely.
The scent had a magical effect that purified his whole mind and relaxed his nerves. He enjoyed it and sometimes unconsciously closed his eyes and savored the moment. The past disappears in an instant, and the first thing that comes to mind is the hope of the future.
So he got used to this comfort in a few days. With a vague sense of dependency. He wished to trap and hide this scent, to smell it every day. Because he had never encountered anything that calmed his mind before.
But the moment of peace was short-lived, as before.
Yun woke up.
The blue eyes stared at him so coldly that the gaze aimed at him showed the threat clearly and did not hide it.
Do not question, directly express your desire to stay away from him...
Normally anyone would be startled, but Nanren only felt the truth behind his frankness. This person made it clear that he was uncomfortable with her and had no ulterior motives. The thought vaguely made him feel safe, with a strange feeling. Yes, this person seemed a little different. He couldn't explain why, but he saw it clearly, perhaps it was clear that this person was not getting any benefit from him, perhaps this sense of worthlessness in his eyes made him feel absurd but genuinely secure. There was nothing he could gain from it, it had no value, and therefore he did not have to stay alert. He let his guard down. He was indifferent to her, and this obvious act made his heart itch over time, wanting his attention and wishing for it as innocently as a child craving parental attention.
Ah, but unfortunately he was thinking too naively and was angered badly by her. Totally trapped. The thought that he nearly killed his mother at his request and destroyed his future by taking the entire Ji family against him shattered his entire mindset and thoughts. In an instant, he was plunged into despair.
He was pale, he wanted to ask weakly.
Why ?
Was he always so targeted because he was weak? Just like his uncle, the society that oppressed the weak and feared the strong wanted to laugh, so it was entirely their own fault. It was all because of his own inadequacy and powerlessness to resist.
And his assumption was confirmed.
Yun had played a terrible prank on him. Hearing this, he froze and could not utter the words. Still, he had a strange sense of complaint.
He did this. It wasn't for teasing. It was a simple warning as it was too naive. What he meant to her was short and clear, he couldn't go on with this mentality!
Although she felt pretty awful, she still felt the pleasure of being strangely attracted to this reckless person. He ignored it, feeling it was absurd, but denying his existence wouldn't change the fact that it was him.
And somehow it got warmer inside. Because no matter what, this action was a sincere, maybe harsh language, but a real goodwill warning. He still longed for that feeling of being cared for, even today.
His inability to translate his inexplicable, confused feelings makes him speechless, but he falls into a strange situation because he can't let go even if he can't express himself.
Yun was different from anyone he had met before. But he had an alluring charm to him. Unfortunately, he couldn't resist it.
-To be continued-