His life, which he led with great hatred, strangely did not end in anger.
When Huai Nanren felt death, it was only in that that he tasted peace. It was as if he had been freed from his captive life, as if he had been freed from the shackles and chains that had strangled him.
Despite this, peace in you is nothing but loneliness in a life where people are overwhelmed.
In this life, although it is not the place where he belongs, he feels most comfortable in the Ji family.
Yun, on the other hand, has the trait that makes her feel most comfortable in the Ji family.
I don't know when it started, she just wanted to be close to him. How could that thought become so distorted over time?
Maybe it was just a simple matter of trust all the basics? Maybe it wasn't. He couldn't find a reason for emotions when they were too complex to be explained by logic.
All he knows is that over time it has a place in all of his mind, in his eyes, and in almost every aspect of his life, that it gradually invades his mind.
It's like a sweet poison.
Although he is aware that he is doing harm, he cannot turn away from this sweetness.
He can only deceive himself and suppress his emotions. However, sweet little Nanren clenches her teeth even more when she has the mindset of her past life, and bad ideas swarm through her mind.
It is tossed back and forth in a dilemma. While she is already resisting the pressure of her heavy feelings, she is vulnerable to any blow from the outside.
Therefore, even a simple mention of an issue such as an engagement will shake his entire defense, causing him to lose his balance.
There are very complex emotional processes behind an apparently simple event.
***
Finding no anomalous operations after turning up a whole mess of data, he hung up the message, put the phone by his side, and leaned idly on the sofa.
Yun was silent.
He also checked Nanren's to be sure, but there were no issues or errors present.
So there can only be one explanation for this. The main source of both of her mistakes is emotions!
He couldn't handle his heavy feelings at school. What happened today clearly shows that even if he didn't want to admit it, he had to admit that he was affected.
He felt uncomfortable. He did not welcome these long-standing, unfamiliar feelings and subconsciously wanted to resist.
But he paused at the thought of paying attention to emotions earlier, his muscles twitching slightly.
He raised his hand and caressed her forehead.
Well, he's going to let it run its course.
He will neither reject nor accept.
After all, everything had to be resolved in time, right?
Moreover...
Nanren...
He frowned. He still couldn't make sense of it. Did the person have a strange obsession with him? Even though he meant it that way, he felt Nanren's tenderness towards him.
The eyes looking at him gleamed as if they contained the entire sky, the slight redness creeping up his face, the shy averted gaze, and his sensitive demeanor.
Contrary to his quiet appearance, Nanren has a turbulent mindset. He has recently gathered the courage to act. This is a sign that no matter how much he ignores this issue, he cannot reluctantly give up.
She claims that she likes him.
It's not the kind that two friends love each other. Relationship between girl and boy. Obviously this is the rhythm of dislike.
And was he bothered by it himself? It is undoubtedly true that he felt strange and could not make sense of it.
And overall, the outlook towards Nanren is positive, close to neutral. Although they have different personalities, there is a strange sense of harmony. Sometimes he doesn't need to say anything, Nanren is a very careful person due to his sensitive mindset. He grasps quickly, knows how to overcome little by little, even with insufficient self-confidence. She is generally a nice person and moreover, she is the person Yun recognizes as a sister.
Moreover...
His lashes trembled.
Be it his previous life or this life, this is someone's first confession to him. He doesn't know how to answer. He can just pretend the problem doesn't exist.
Even when he had a family in his previous life, he never had this thought. Maybe it was because he was careless about these issues from the beginning, no one talked to him about such matters.
Despite this, Yun took this matter seriously. She's not one to waste time just hanging out or hanging out, unlike her brother, although she's still surprised that Shura is married and has lasted all this time, unlike her sister's slack, she thinks and handles these matters long-term. There were times when Shura always made fun of him by calling him old-fashioned just because of this.
That is, he will choose someone to accompany him in his life, not cancer for his life. That's why it says all or nothing! And if this person is bullshit he will kick it mercilessly! Because he didn't like trouble and was happy with his life in general, it hadn't even occurred to him until Nanren poked him about it.
But if the bird was thinking properly, her mother seemed to be pissed about it.
More precisely, with his grandfather also making small hints and the engagement incident, Yun realized that he could no longer delay this matter forever.
'Humans are social beings, they cannot live alone. At least give it a try'
He couldn't remember where he heard these words from, but he couldn't help but hesitate.
He frowned.
If he had lived like this for the rest of his life, he would have been in a good mood. He clearly wouldn't like it if any random person dripped into his life and bothered him. Moreover, he couldn't guarantee that he wouldn't turn that person back into life with itchy hands.
First of all, she wasn't a narcissist and could simply admit that she certainly wasn't a good candidate, considering the gender issue in general. She was not perfect at entering these stereotypes based on her gender. He wasn't rule-seeking, and he couldn't openly say that once he'd tasted freedom, he'd easily give up.
Choosing a partner requires mutual agreement. So, just as he was disturbed, the other person would be as disturbed.
Just because he was away from such matters didn't mean he was ignorant. To be honest, his appearance and demeanor were more suited to the role of brother, confidant rather than a girlfriend. First of all, it goes without saying that guys in general like slender girls, girls would definitely flock to him if he and Yun stood side by side.
She scratched her chin with her hand, and it was the first time she felt so distressed about the gender issue.
If we were to pass the male candidates, Yun had definitely dismissed the issue, saying that she was not a lesbian.
After all, there was someone who was already chasing him.
His eyes focused on the room inside, which had been quiet for a while.
In fact, he had eliminated Nanren the first time around. The reason was simple. He was a homosexual, she. And she couldn't give him what he wanted, she.
But now that she thought about it again, she remembered that when she had asked this question before, she had clearly refused to accept it. He said that since this was his first love, he could not properly answer his question.
But she was a girl... even if it didn't seem like it at all! Now would Nanren be gay or not? Confused, she felt her brain heat up. If Nanren felt this way knowing he was a man, it must have been...
"Agh! Celibacy is sultanate!"
Tomorrow he will go and become a member of the society for the protection of singles!
-To be continued-