I sat unmoving, my mind lost in thoughts as the maids scurried around serving breakfast. I was in no state to eat, in no state to sit comfortably at the dining table of the house my husband owned.
My husband who had turned out to be a rapist, my rapist.
My eyes blinked harshly in a failed attempt to stop the tears that threatened to fall. I couldn't let the servants see me this way, although I had a feeling they had heard me cry many other times.
It's been a week since that night, since the night my husband forced himself on me admist my pleas. The fact he had voiced his disgust over me and maintained he couldn't look at me even in such an intimate moment made a new shiver of grief wash over me.
Which should hurt more??
Being raped by your husband? or knowing he was repulsed by having you naked underneath his body?
My relationship with Xaviar made me realize love isn't enough sometimes, the world had to be wrong for describing love as super glue which sticks two persons together forever. Or maybe mine felt wrong because it was one sidded?
No!
At some point Xaviar loved me in return, it wasn't one sidded. I just wasn't enough to keep him forever.
He hadn't been home for this past week, not once. I didn't care where he had ran off to, I was rather disappointed at the fact that he wasn't man enough to admit his mistake and apologize. His sudden disappearance warmed my heart though, I didn't know how I would be able to face him. A part of me was angry for what he had done and the other half of me felt utterly humiliated.
As much as I wanted to believe I was strong, this situation made me realize how much of a disappointment I was to the female gender. I was weak. I couldn't even pack my things and leave his house.
I stayed even after being disrespected.
My head told me to leave, to go back to my parents or at least inform them my marriage was falling apart but the little stupid piece of my heart held on to hope and love.
Hope that Xaviar would realize he's supposed to love me the way I completely loved him.
"Layla!" Snapping of fingers drew my attention
"Hey Layla!!"
"Uhm.. Y-Ya I can hear you Diego "
"it's been about ten minutes since breakfast was served, you're not eating, just staring " He explained dropping his fork
"oh -I -didn't realize" quietly replying as my eyes cast down to my empty plate waiting to be filled with the varieties of food the chef presented
I heard Diego give off a sigh, standing from his seat he moved over to where I sat. Pity clear in his eyes as he dished me a portion of food to my plate
"eat up Layla, before it gets cold " He give an encouraging smile as I picked up the cutlery
"go on" He persuaded more as I sat there holding the cutlery, staring at the meal
" I've lost my appetite "
Standing abruptly, I pushed my seat back and walked passed Diego who put no effort to stop me
"He's coming home today Layla!" My husband's bestfriend announced
"What?!" That was enough to halt my steps
"Xaviar called to inform his return " He spoke as I placed my gaze on him
"I didn't want it to come as a surprise "
He knew Xaviar's sudden appearance would knock me off track, he just gave me a chance to pull myself together before my husband's arrival.
"Thank you"
He gave a nod in reply and I continued to the master bedroom.
Not less than thirty minutes after I entered the room, I heard the gate open and Xaviar's car drive in. Pulling out a chair, I sat with my back to the door and eyes fixed on his figure through the huge window .
"Not gonna come down to welcome your husband" The door to the room was pushed open and Xaviar's voice filled the space, as well as his Cologne, something I was so addicted to had now turned out to be my poison.
"Get dressed we're going out" his hands rested on my shoulder as I still sat with my back to him.
"Layla"
"You have some nerve Xaviar, waltzing in here and acting like everything is fine " I begun standing up
His face held no emotion, no sympathy, it was like nothing had happened the last time he was in this room.
"I don't want to argue with you, just get dressed let's go " He spoke again
"I'm not going anywhere Xaviar" I retorted walking away from him but he followed right behind me
"What?" His eyebrows crooked as he questioned
"You heard me, I'm not going anywhere with a rapist!"
"A rapist??" Xaviar scoffed. He wasn't even taking it seriously
"You raped me and now you're playing dumb??"
"If you want to refer to our intimate moment as rape then you're free to " His fingers meet my cheek, caressing it
"Don't Touch Me!" I hissed pushing him away from me
"Layla I'm not particularly ready for this " his face visibly getting irritated from my action
"Intimate Moment!!! You raped me you bastard and disappeard for a whole week. you didn't even have t-the decency t-to a-pologise" my voice failing my me at the end of my rant
"It's not considered rape seeing as your mine. You're my wife " my husband said trying to caresses my now tear stained cheek
"Don't !!!" I stopped him
"Watch your tone when speaking to me tesoro!" I could feel the anger gradually growing within him.
"And if I don't!?! What then huh??? You'll rape me again or Cheat?? " I pushed on
"ENOUGH!!!" Xaviar roared, his hand heading straight for my face to hit me.
My husband's hand suddenly stops mid air, eyes red in fury staring at me as he steps backwards, his hand now at his side.
"ohhh you want to hit me!!! Go ahead Xaviar!! Hit me like always!! Go ahead I'm not stopping you!" I taunted without thinking of the consequences
"Get dressed Layla and be out in 15 minutes, or the guards will be forced to act in a way I'm sure you wouldn't like " He voiced before turning around and leaving.
My legs gave out the moment my husband shut the door behind him, I sat huddled on the ground trying to pull myself together as I sobbed uncontrollably.
Minutes later and I stood under the shower as warm water cascaded down my flesh. I knew Xaviar wasn't bluffing when he said the guards would do something I didn't like. It was one thing for Xaviar to embarrass me and another thing for the guards to do it.
The shower came to a quick end and I was currently getting dressed when I heard a knock
"Signora Layla, we should be leaving now " I heard the guard say
"give me a minute!" Looking back at my reflection in the mirror, I was impressed with my outfit, a black latex mini dress paired with elbow length black gloves and a white faux fur coat. I hurriedly put on my black knee high boots, applied glittering lip gloss and held my hair up in a messy bun.
I grabbed my Yves Saint Laurent bag highlighting my classy look before walking out the house with two guards leading the way.
The car ride was silent giving me enough time to contemplate on why Xaviar had demanded I was brought to him in God knows where, my trail of thoughts were stopped when we parked in front of a hotel.
It wasn't one of Xaviar's, but it was owned by someone equally as rich my husband.
"migliore"
(best) The sign read
I had heard about this hotel on several occasions but I hadn't been here before. If the rumors were right, it was popular among the elites due to its expensive taste and look.
One of the guards accompanied me to where my husband occupied.
"Beautiful as ever" He complimented as he pulled out the seat for me
"whatever Xaviar, let's just get this done with" I retorted earning a chuckle.
True to the words, the interior of the hotel was magnificent, antique furniture and accessories decorated the entire place. It felt like I was in a palace.
"I already ordered for us" Xaviar announced pulling my attention
"You seem to be making lots of decisions for both of us recently "
"you won't let it go will you?"
"Let what go exactly?" A tint of annoyance clear in my tone
Xaviar gave off a breath, his fingers slowly touching my mine before he held them.
"Don't!" He spoke as I tried pulling away
"Don't do that please" his said softly
"I'm sorry Layla. I know I've wrong you so much "
"Don't do this Xaviar. I don't want to listen to anything you have to say " my gaze faltered from his
"It was a mistake tesoro, -that night, it just happened "
"Rape doesn't just happen Xaviar"
"I was drunk and I messed up tesoro"
"that's not the first time you've fucked up lately " I rolled my eyes at his poor choice of words
"and your mistress? Was that also a mistake?" I questioned
His lips curved in a stupid smirk
"is that a hint of jealousy from my wife "
"Don't flatter yourself" I scoffed
My ability to pull off a strong front before Xaviar came as a shock to me. Not minding the pang of hurt I felt when asking after his mistress, I was able to keep a straight face maintaining my poise.
"I uhm, I'm done with that, no more. Just you and I tesoro " Xaviar's eyes squinted as he tried convincing me he was done with Sophia
"Just like that?? How's that possi- -" I was interrupted by the waiter who returned with our food.
"Let's eat" my husband placed a kiss to my hand before picking up the cutlery
my eyes stayed trained on his eating figure, studying him, looking for anything. Anything that would confirm he was lying to me.
He couldn't just toss Sophia away that fast
Could he?
Was he actually back to his senses?
"Babe, eat up"
"Uhm ya sure" He gave a beautiful smile in response while drinking in my appearance, his eyes glistening with an unreadable fire.