I hummed a tune as I set up the dinning table without the help of the maids, I was in an amazing mood this morning while I made breakfast.
I smiled as the thought of the news I had to break to my husband crossed my mind, valentine was a week away and I had the best gift for Xaviar. Something that would likely fix our strained relationship.
I had just finished giving the table a satisfied look when I noticed Xaviar descending the stairs.
"Good morning " I offered a smile
" you seem to be in a good mood this morning " He stated taking a seat as I nodded in reply
"made breakfast?"
"Ya I replied" while he stared at the scrambled eggs.
We ate in a comfortable silence, with Xaviar stealing glances at me and I knew exactly why.
I hadn't been in a good mood since the day he had committed that despicable act, I had avoided him, even after his miserable apology. At some point I even considered getting a divorce, but I couldn't go through with it cause as stupid as it sounded, I loved him.
I loved Xaviar to the point that I put my self dignity aside and stayed even when I felt suffocated.
I loved my husband enough to fake happiness when we were in public, to play the role of a dotting wife, while deep down I regretted the day we crossed paths.
Xaviar cleared his throat, gaining my attention, his eyes fixed on me as he calculated his next words.
"I got you something " I quickly cut in and handed him the envelope that was kept by my side.
"what's this" He asked taking it from me
"well, Valentine is a week away, I don't know, but I just thought we could take a break from everything "
"plane tickets to Hawaii??" He looked unsure of where the conversation was heading
"yeah, a vacation. Try and fix us you know, try to make us work. Cause everything has be- -"
"I can't" He butts in
"What??? What do you mean??"
"You heard me, I can't go. I have things to do, I was about telling you before you talked about this " He explained further
" but Xaviar it's valentines, what could be more important than spending it together "
Rising up, he pushes back the seat in an attempt to walk out when Layla's words make him stop
" You're going to be with her aren't you" She accused
"what?"
"Sophia, you're going to spend Val with her "
Xaviar in turn, continues with his latter action not sparing her the satisfaction of hearing his voice
" you know for such an intelligent female Layla, you end up hurting yourself " He finished, before exiting the house.
A shiver ran down her spine as she felt that suffocating air clog her lungs once again, she recognized it. It was creeping in, that feeling of helplessness and rejection. She had felt it alot to know when it was mocking her.
Heart beat spiking up rapidly as her eyes stung with unshed tears, she took large steps up the fleet of stairs, locking the door behind her as soon as she got to the room.
"he choose her " She whispered to herself
Of course he did
He would always choose her
He loves her
Did he ever love you???
It taunted her, those words, the meaning behind them which only her could understand. The pain that came along with the logic her head was feeding her felt like she was being stabbed alive.
As she paced the room like a lunatic, her tears had now begun escaping her eyes without her knowledge
He wants her! It mocked
"No! He doesn't, he's just confused, she distracted him." She spoke out loud trying hard to convince herself
He doesn't want you! This time it sounded louder like her mind was standing before her
"nooooo! ". She shook her head denying the claim
Leave!
Pack up and leave! These thoughts hit a delicate part of her and she did as told.
Pulling out her suitcase with tears pouring out her eyes furiously she begun throwing cloths in it like her life depended on it.
someone who would see her at this moment would think she was a mentally deranged female.
But maybe she was, maybe her love for Xaviar had turned her to nothing less than a mentally deranged female.
HE DOESN'T WANT YOU LAYLA! HE NEVER LOVED YOU!!!! LEAVE NOWW!!! That was the height of it.
She couldn't take it anymore, The mental torture was too much, if her love for Xaviar didn't kill her then her mind would.
She screamed at the top of her voice as she pushed the suitcase away from her. She wanted the voices to stop, her thoughts were self harming and she knew it but she couldn't stop the swarm of thoughts that flocked her mind.
"Make it stop!!!! I can't!! I'm tiredddd please!!!!" She screamed as she fell to the bed, with pillow in her hands she pressed down on her face like she needed to be suffocated to death.
Her tears no longer pouring silently, she wailed like her life was over, like her life depended on Xaviar's love for her.
"Why would you want her!! You chose me before!! You wanted me then!!!" She screamed into the pillow as she sobbed loudly in pain, hands hitting the mattress furiously.
Go to her!
The thought crossed her mind amidst her crying fit.
Pay her a visit Layla!
Now!!!
the only way you could get Xaviar back is if she's dead!!!!
After all we know where she lives
it was back, those compulsive thoughts, giving here ideas to act upon, thoughts that she had no control over, true to the statement, Layla had acquired every bit of information on Sophia through her excellent stalking skills.
Rising up from the bed, her sobs had totally disappeared, like she didn't just have a mental breakdown few minutes ago. She packed her hair up in a messy bun and picked up her sunglasses, to hide her red puffy eyes.
Layla rushed into one of the many vehicles parked in the garage, her destination already in mind, this would be the day Sophia regretted ever dreaming to take Xaviar away from her.
As she drove out the estate, she was reminded of her husband's words, maybe he was right. Maybe she does end up hurting herself.