"Umma,Good evening,how was your day?" Nur greeted her mother, slumping her body on the couch next to her
"It was good dear, you look tired, go and take a shower it's almost time for maghrib, by the time you are done, your food will be waiting" Mrs Fatimah replied patting her daughter's shoulder.
"Oooohhhh Ummah I'm tiredddddd, can I skip the shower" Nur smiled mischievously making her famous doe eyes at her Mum.
"Come on stand up, you stink,I will end up with a bloated stomach at this rate" her Mum teased her pushing her from the couch, using her free hand to cover her nose.
"Ewwwww, what's stinking in this room" Humairah interjected a broad smile on her face.
"Thunder fire that your mouth" Nur retaliated as she playfully glared at her sister.
"Habibty, don't mind her, you are the perfume in this room, my Baby can never stink" Mr Ali said
"Awwwwnnn Daddy, Thank you, you are the only one that truly love me in this House" Nur replied making her eyes looking as if she was really touched and close to tears, as she moved to hug her Father he stopped her saying
" My Baby, don't mind them go and shower so that you will feel fresh" he said trying to hold his laughter which he let go of as Mrs Fatima and Humairah burst into fits of laughter
"Daddyyy" Nur whined and her father parted her on the back trying to control his laughter that was threatening to erupt once again.
"Habibti I'm not laughing" he said trying to convince her.
Nur just pouted and made her way up the stairs to her room to take the shower everyone demanded from her.
************
"Yaaya, welcome" A little girl of about twelve ran as fast as her tiny leg could carry her, as she made for the door, a tall handsome man lifted her a bit roughly,
"Dee, you are getting heavier by the day,what is Mummy feeding you" he asked her dragging her cheeks.
"Yaaya, I'm growing that's why" she replied energetically.
He dropped her and headed for the couch as he sat and motioned for her to come to him
"Where is Mummy" he asked
"My Darling, you are back, how was your day" a short dark skinned beautiful woman appeared from the corridor, her hair reaching her back as she reached to tie it with her ruffle,she used a hair tie to cover her hair as she approached her son who gave her a very affectionate hug
"Love of my life, I missed you" he gushed.
"Why am I feeling left out? " Dee complained her hand akimbo
"And Mummy,you said I'm your Darling"
She added pouting
"Oh my Baby, you are my heartthrob" her mum said as she hugged her.
"Mum, you can't have a Darling and a heartthrob, they are meant to be one person, or else you will be a...yes the word is player " Dee informed her mother.
"Dee, I'm your mother and you are my children, you are both my Darlings and heartthrobs, the only ones of course" she ended it with a chuckle.
"Hmmm, that makes sense" she muttered nodding her head and suddenly she hugged her mother and brother a wide small on her cute face.
"Mummy, Dee is growing to be so Witty and sharp tongued" he said after Dee released them from her tight hug, looking at Dee amused at her level of intelligence.
"Its Lilly oo from the curious, she's solely responsible" his Mum replied
"Ooohhh, speaking of the curious, Dee I met somebody from the curious today, somebody you will love to see" he informed her, excitement lacing his voice
"Really" she asked, her voice rising with her curiosity.
"Guess" he said wiggling his eyebrows while his Mother quietly sat on a nearby couch enjoying their exchange.
"Ermmmm, Lilly?" She asked excited at the mere thought.
"Nope, someone you love more" he replied enjoying the suspense.
"Veronica Jones, the writer?" She asked again
"I said someone you love more" he replied stressing every word.
"Hmm, I don't want to hope too much so that I won't be disappointed" she said her eyes cautioning him
He laughed a little, then ruffled her hair, "hope for the best My smart Dee"
Her smile broadened, her eyes showing excitement and disbelief as she pronounced the name
"Nur Ali?"
He paused to allow her suspense reach its peak before he slowly nodded his head and presented to her the signed autograph.
Nur Ali Adores Khadijah Suleiman.
A small Heart and a signature below it.
Khadijah squealed and hugged her brother,
"This is Nur's handwriting, oh my God!! Its so beautiful, you met her, you talked to her ooooohhhhh, you are so lucky and I am so jealous, you know what, pls help me meet her even if it from a distance pleasseeeee" Khadijah blabbered unable to contain her excitement.
"Well that's not all my dear, she sent you a gift" he told her anticipating a louder squeal, their Mother who was still watching, made a point of covering her ears with her hands.
When she noticed her mother's reaction she decided to ask as calmly as she could, "what is it? give me, give me"
He presented her with the leather which contained the niqab, she hurriedly opened it to look at what it was.
" A niqab?"she asked confusion on her face.
"Yes, she said if you ever want to wear it" he replied.
"Hmmm, well if you meet her again, tell her if I ever want to wear a niqab, this will be the first I'll use and I love her and the niqab" she said the last part squealing as she hugged the niqab.
**********
It was 9pm and everybody had retired to their rooms, Humairah sat on the bed waiting for her sister who was performing her wudu'u for sleeping to continue her tale.
Nur came out of the bathroom then tied her hair with a scarf she approached the bed and sat adjacent to Humairah
"Mairah, why aren't you sleeping" she asked faking ignorance.
"Nuurrrr, you know why" Humairah whined
"Mairahhhh I don't know why" Nur whined back chuckling at the end of her sentence.
"Please now Nur, its all I've been thinking about today" Humairah pleaded pouting her lips.
"Hmm, beg more" she replied mischievously.
*pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.."
"Its ok, I'll tell you but we won't stay too late" Nur interrupted her whining.
"Thank you" Mairah replied, a smile replacing her pout.
"I agreed to Amar and his mother's request to retain the peaceful atmosphere in the house, I apologized to them and everything went back to normal,the next day, Amar introduced me to Raashidah, the maid assigned to me, he drove us to school and bade me goodbye.... I remember he was reluctant to go as he was whining that he was going to miss me,I had to beg him to go early because the road isn't safe and he had to travel the next day too.
School started and everything was going well,Raashidah was very helpful and was more like a friend to me, at school too, I had people who took care of me, my life was Good until one day I had a terrible stomach ache, it was so bad, I thought I was going to die,Raashidah was very confused, she just kept on going back and forth and crying, what ticked her consciousness was when I started bleeding, she quickly ran outside and booked a cab which took us to the closest hospital, Al-madinah, the doctor told me that the bleeding was as a result of stress and that my child is really weak and is growing really slow, he asked how many month is my Baby and I told him 3 months and 3 weeks, the doctor was shocked as he said the fetus he saw in the scanning was that of 8 weeks old, he asked me which hospital's antenatal programme do I attend and for the first time I felt truly ashamed, since when Amar told me not to go, I didn't try to persuade him again, I felt like a careless mother, an irresponsible parent, I just whispered to him, my head bowed, that I had never gone for antenatal, it was from then that Doctor Jamil took special interest in my case, he told me normally, antenatal is just once a month for a pregnancy of 1month to 6month, but since I have a case, I should visit his hospital every week because my baby needed extra care" Nur paused a bit as if trying to find her voice
"Nur, did you tell anybody? Ummah? Amar? and if you had a baby where is it, is it with Amar or ..." Humairah choked on her words as Nur glared at her daring her to finish her statement.
"I didn't tell Ummah, it was of no use other than scaring and disturbing her, I just did as the doctors said.
As for Amar, I told him, he was concerned so he told me to do as the doctor instructed but since he wasn't in the country, he couldn't come, so I did, and for the next six months I visited Dr Jamil's hospital every week, if my lectures clash with my appointment, my friend Halima signs the attendance for me, every food I ate was essential and recommended, he also prescribed some drugs for me, when the Baby was 6 months old I remember we did a scan and he told me its really growing now.....in fact, he said it was almost normal though still fragile, he even gave me the CD where the scan was recorded , I still have it,.... Its was the happiest moment of my life, I was so happy, my baby looked so amazing and small and fragile, I could hear his faint heartbeat and could see him turn a bit" Nur paused again as tears clouded her vision, she bent and opened a drawer, where her treasure box was, she brought out a CD from it and showed it Humairah
" This is the CD, this is the first memory of my first Baby, he was a boy, the doctor told me the sex and the Genotype, AS just like me, his mother, his careless mother, his irresponsible mother" Nur paused again obviously unable to control her emotions any longer she paced around the room trying to calm herself down, supplicating to Allah to ease her wounded heart.
Humairah didn't know what to do as she watched her sister pace around the room, it was obvious Nur was going through a lot and she didn't trust herself to say the right things to calm her down so instead, she chose to keep quiet and allow her to calm Down on her own.
10 minutes had barely passed when Humairah heard her sister's voice from across the room
" The day I saw that CD for the first time, Amar wasn't present, he had visited earlier that month, his visit were monthly or 2 times a month as he had just gotten a job and didn't want to start skipping work, he also didn't get me the driver, he said he hadn't gotten a trustworthy person, I called him and told him and he promised to come the next week, I also told Ummah, she even cried in the phone telling me I grew too fast, she advised me on the do's and don't's, exams were fast approaching and I was getting heavier, Raashidah tried her best with me she escorted me to school all the time and always came to pick me for lectures, I will always be thankful to her,
I had written all my exams except one, that one was supposed to be on Thursday 5th of December, doctor Jamil predicted that my expected date of delivery was 8th of September so he recommended that I should be admitted as early as 4th, I agreed on the condition that he will allow me to take my exams on the 5th, Amar was supposed to come in the 2nd but he told me that he had work to do but he will try and make it the next day, I kept on begging him to come, I just wanted him by my side, I remember I kept calling him until he got angry and switched off his phone, but don't blame me I was all alone, Raashidah had gone to tend to her sick mother, I couldn't stop her I would be cruel to do that, I couldn't impose on my course mates they had done enough for me and it was exam time most of them wanted to read and staying with me was adding to their work load.
On 3rd September Amar had still not come, in the night around 8 to 9 pm, I had prayed my isha'a, I started experiencing stomach aches, at first it was just acute, the magnitude of the pain started increasing as the frequency it occurred increased, I felt like my pelvis was about to pull out, I screamed at the top of my lungs, until I could no longer scream, I cried for help, I felt the urge the urge to push but I couldn't, the pain had become permanent and was increasing in magnitude,later I started supplicating anything that came To my mind, when the pain decreased a bit, I reached for my phone and called Amar but he wasn't picking, I tried to send a text but I couldn't form a sentence, I kept on calling but he didn't pick, later I sent him a voice note via WhatsApp. When I started feeling water trickling down my legs, I knew I was in labour and I needed help, if not for me but for my baby, so I called Dr jamil but he wasn't picking up too, I called him several times but he still didn't pick up so i managed to type the word"hwellppp" and i sent it to him.
When the pain began to intensify again, i tried to push but nothing was happening my energy was all drained, I screamed again for help but nobody heard me or nobody cared to help,
I gripped the side of my bed and pushed until I started feeling dizzy and when I looked down, I saw blood trickling slowly from between my leg to the brown rug, my consciousness was beginning to leave me and I felt so was my life, so I gave up and began to pray, that was when I realized I had done terrible things in this world, I had done nothing to deserve Allah's favour, that was the first time I truly regretted committing zina with my husband, that was when I saw all the excuses I consoled myself with in their true pathetic nature, so I prayed to Allah, "ya Allah I know I don't deserve your pity nor your mercy but ya Allah I know you are the merciful and the all forgiving, ya Allah please spare my baby, let him live ya Rahman, let him grow in your guidance, don't let him go astray like I did, ya Allah, I love this baby more than my life Ya Allah pls let me give birth to him, ya Allah end his suffering, I know I had conceived him in the wrong way, maybe this is the consequence of my action but ya Allah you said we should call onto you and you will answer us ya Rahman save my Baby, save Abdurrahman and ya Allah please save me too I want to worship you and properly ask for your forgiveness, I have realised my wrong doings too late, ya Allah, please give me another chance to right my wrongs and give me a chance to hold my child and to kiss him" and I slipped out of my consciousness.
"Mairah when one feels he's about to die, his life flashes right before his eyes, he pinpoints his mistakes easily and wallow in regrets and at that moment the regret that drowned me was that of committing Zina, I couldn't help but think of so many what ifs, I felt I was responsible for the state I was in, if I was patient enough to preserve myself I wouldn't be in this house all alone, dying with my Baby fighting for his life, I wouldn't have skipped antenatal because I was scared to reveal how many months my pregnancy was, I wouldn't have stressed my baby in the first trimester when he needed utmost care because I wouldn't be in school or getting married or trying to hide a pregnancy or preparing for exams or trying to keep Down the vomit to avoid suspicion or eating junks because I had no time to cook, I wouldn't be without my husband because by then he would have been more responsible, more considerate,more available for me, I would have been confident enough to ask my mum for help anytime without worrying that it will remind her of the disgraceful act I had committed,I would have been with my mum just the way Hausa people do when the bride is about to give birth without the fear of people gossiping and calculating how many months my pregnancy is meant to be, I would have .....