Chapter: "Unnatural"
I open my eyes, rubbing them as I yawn. I'm alone in the room, tilting my head I see a pill on the napkin on the table along with a glass of water. It doesn't take long to take it.
My eyes are fixed on that ring, I smile, if only it was for real and Aleksander another type of person then everything was perfect. Although the ring is very valuable, it does not have the most important value: love.
What about the pendant? I do not know.
I hurry, quickly make my way to my room. Inside my bedroom I feel the need to lock the door. I brush my teeth and take a long shower, long enough to drain my mind and sort out the hodgepodge in my head.
What the heck is wrong with me? I have stopped seeing Konstantinov as an evil man who has done me a lot of harm, and my eyes do not see a guy who deprived me of my freedom.
It is Aleksander, the handsome Russian with greyish greens who with scant caresses, sometimes desert glances and others containing the passing confusion, who has stolen my heart.
But love is not always fair, it is never right. Love goes further, we only advance in lies, there is no destination, there is no place that awaits us both. I know that after the year I have a life ahead of me, I will be able to forget it. But I don't know if I will be able to throw this feeling that is oppressing my chest into a garbage can.
I have spent so much time under water that I look like it passes wrinkled, I decide that it is enough and get out; I wrap myself in a warm towel.
I look among the things that Aleksander has bought for me, comfortable clothes that maintain my body heat in this cold climate of the area. I choose a Sweater, the sweater is white, I accompany it with some wool pants. I end up putting on socks and slippers.
It's a rainy Sunday, I stand behind the glass, my hands in the shape of jugs. There are many droplets moving on the window. I leave the room towards the kitchen, it is early so I think I will run into the lady without a name. But the place is desolate, I don't see that breakfast is ready either, maybe she already came and left it outside, as usual.
I find Aleksander on the terrace, talking to someone on the phone. As I guessed, the food is on the table. My fake fiancé turns and walks over, ending the call. He walks towards me, he doesn't kiss me good morning, a gesture my lips silently crave.
"Aleksander, good morning," I am the first to greet him.
"Dobroye utro, Anggel," he returns in his complicated language. I consider it a greeting from him.
While we eat I remain absorbed in devouring my portion, we do not speak, at least I do not.
"I left a pill on the desk, did you take it?" He wants to know.
-Yes, I do.
- Anyway keep me informed, if you get to feel bad, symptoms that may resemble those of a pregnancy, do not hesitate to tell me. That way we will have time to solve the problem, "he adds coldly.
-The problem?
"An unwanted baby is a problem, you understand?" —He comments tactlessly.
Seat.
I am not pregnant, but if I was I could not sustain the idea of getting rid of my baby, a guilt-free and innocent little one. I have no doubt that he is a monster. I swallow hard at the lump in my throat, brushing away the tears before they escape and end up showing my weakness.
...
The month flew by, there we were both under a shower of fireworks. And on the other side of the world my family whom I miss a lot, I remember them more at that moment.
And I can't contain myself, I start to cry regardless of who is by my side. The tidal wave of emotions runs through me with the intention of removing all the pain overwhelmed in my soul, but crying profusely is not enough, I feel terrible. Devastated, I turn on my heel, and before I can take a step, Aleksander happens to embrace me. You couldn't be more confused and strangely okay with his effusive roundup.
The illusion grows enormous, his arms that hold me resemble an ointment that is applied to all wounds, the irony is that he is also poison and the cause. She received the comfort of his warm touch.
"It's only one year, Luna," she remembers. What she does not know is that all that time he becomes everlasting by her side -. And because we have a deal, since then I have not been so inexorable with you.
Sobbing, I hold his gaze. It is not empty, it is not a vacant look.
"I know, it's just that I miss them too much." Alek, I don't mind pretending we're a happy couple, please… "I stare at him. Let me talk to Daddy, after I marry you. I will not tell you the truth, I will follow exactly what we agreed on. I promise not to play dirty.
"I can think about it, once you are my wife I will decide about it, shall we go inside?" She questions and I shake my head in agreement.
We stay inside the great room that belongs to the room. The huge flat screen TV permanece off. I don't even pretend to wave my hand and take the remote control. He is the one who turns on the huge screen and lies down next to me.
He didn't pay attention, I dedicate all of it to the pendant that I keep looking for a meaning in terms of the shape of it.
"We will be married the day after tomorrow," she informs me.
The air dissipates, it is so soon, so fast. The wait is over, it causes a conflict that does not make me suggestive. I try to overlap because in less than seventy-two hours I will sign a paper that will make me his wife. I see it out of the corner of my eye, he doesn't realize it. Sigh. I play with the ring on my ring finger.
It's not real.
Is not true.
It does not mean anything.
I'm marrying my kidnapper in two days, he sounds sick, unnatural and I don't do anything but think about other circumstances.
It is a wish that cannot be conceived along with the idea of posing next to him and saying yes, I accept.
"I'm sleepy, I'll go to bed," I announce.
"Wait ..." he stops me, his long fingers come closer caressing my cheek, the next move from him comes with affection. A slow kiss that intensifies without crossing into rudeness or savagery. He separates when the air is completely extinguished. Spokoynoy nochi, Luna.
...
The civil wedding takes place, at the time of signing I felt that I was digging my own grave. And the kiss, that kiss that ends up making the union official is not true, yet it feels sincere. It is difficult to express everything I experience, the ineffable sensation makes my heart beat faster. It is not a vestige, it is a sustained overdose, which borders on my entire soul.
There is another ring on my finger, a ring that confirms our marriage. The Italian who has been in charge of the process ends up giving Aleksander a handshake, he congratulates us. I smile all the time, pretending to be a perfect girlfriend.
But inside the car the fault falls, we are nothing. The small bouquet that I have in my hands I leave it by my side. I intertwine my fingers on my lap, I am wearing a white dress, the typical color, the fabric is lace, an attractive design that I could choose from.
Whats Next? The honeymoon?
"There's still a lot left, we can go eat, what do you think?" —Inquires
Don't demand, ask for my opinion. I don't know what to decide.
"Yes, I have no problem."
"Get that face off, Luna." You don't look happy, "she whispers.
I don't want to smile, and he makes me do it.
La Piazzetta, which curiously is not located in La Piazzetta, this restaurant is located in Marina Piccola. In the place there is a beautiful terrace overlooking the Farallones, its pleasant atmosphere and impressive views, make up a suitable setting to enjoy good food.
But during the winter days it is preferable to eat inside, from there you can enjoy its views of the sea.
The maïtre takes our order.
—C'è qualcos'altro offerto, signore?
—No, è tutto, grazie mille.
—Capito, with permission
I am surprised by his fluency with Italian. He is an expert in languages. We are further away from the diners, which means that there is a little more intimacy between us.
"You are my wife," he says, I don't know what the intention is.
"That's right, now I'm Mrs. Konstantinov," I go on, hiding any emotion, I don't inject anything, not a single pinch. But not for long and this is just a sham.
Hearing my words he stares at me long and hard, the domain that he dedicates to me is undone in a jiffy. Now only his smile remains, one that leads over everything and me.
-I know.
When the food arrives we do not speak again. The order consisting of fish dishes make up a menu where soufflés stand out.
I can handle this, I'm not going to throw in the towel.