Guess what?
I was late.
I blamed it on Beca. She wanted to walk and talk while I was trying to get out of the cafeteria and to the stables. I finally had to tell her I needed to go.
But let me backtrack.
My day had gone on without incident. Beca was in three of my four classes so she walked with me from English in Humanities to Biology in the Science Building. After lunch, Parker, who was in Humanities at the same time I was there for Trig, traded with Beca at the library to go with me to sociology in the Communications Building (I don't know why).
All day I was protected from Casey and her group, who I saw lurking everywhere. She had literally gotten angry when Parker dropped me off in Trig and sneered down at him. I had tried not to laugh but I wasn't certain if it worked or not.
But my mind was preoccupied with Darren. There was something going on with him. He had been acting strangely since Casey attacked me and my dreams had said something else was going on. My gut was telling me it was important, that Darren was important.
After I got out of class, I went back to my dorm to do my homework. When dinner rolled around, I changed into jeans and a thick sweater that would allow me to go without a coat. Beca chattered the entire time while my mind raced about her brother. Thankfully, Drew was there to get her off my back. I ate dinner quickly and tried to make it seem as if I wasn't in a hurry as I left the cafeteria unattended.
My mind buzzed as I walked to the stables. There was something I couldn't get my mind around. Why was it now, when my quirky little truth-telling ability was non-existent except with myself, that people were acting funny. First it was Parker, then Beca, Headmaster Alexander and now Darren. As I thought more about it, Darren was the one who started this whole mess. He was the one who had brought it up with Drew the night I was loopy in my bed.
As I approached the stables, I saw the light on in the main one. Resolve filled me and I marched to it. I threw open the heavy door and walked into the warm interior. Darren was brushing his stallion. Jake was a rusty black and stood at sixteen hands. Both master and creature were happy; one was humming and the other was munching.
My mare Kaia whickered at me, stomping her feet unhappily. I hadn't been to see my Palomino since the snow had gotten bad. She was due for a much needed brushing. I grabbed a brush and a couple of sugar cubes before going to her. She snatched the first cube as I started brushing. Spoiled little snot.
We worked in silence for a bit, the only sounds were our breathing, the animals'
breathing, and the brushes as they moved along the horses' coats. It was almost comforting and would have been if my head wasn't spinning.
"Darren," I said before I lost the little nerve I had collected.
"Hmm?" He never lost his concentration as I spoke.
"I know you're the reincarnation of King Arthur."
With that admonishment shimmering in the air between us, he stopped brushing Jake, which made the horse unhappy. He patted the horse's flank, did the limbo under the rope, and walked to the table so he could sit down on it. I didn't turn around. Instead I fed Kaia the last sugar cube and walked to her other side to brush it.
Darren sighed and I imagined him running a hand through his natural blond hair. "How long have you known?"
"A couple of days. It was the day Casey attacked me," I replied. I just didn't tell him how I knew. Telling him I'd had a dream about a woman and him didn't seem to be the best move.
"Speaking of which, how's your face?"
"The stitches are melting so it's getting better." I stepped under the rope that blocked my horse off and walked to the table, sliding on to it so I could sit beside him. "How long have you known?"
"What? That I was King Arthur?" I nodded. "Since I was fourteen."
"That was when you came here, right?"
"Yep. It was Alexander's second year. He knew who I was instantly, as did Parker. When Beca came, she figured it out."
"Why did Parker turn away from you?" I knew it was a stupid question since I knew the answer but I wanted to hear it from him.
Anger clouded his face as his eyes hardened. "Parker is Lancelot, my most trusted Knight and one of my best friends. When he slept with my wife, he ruined that."
"Darren, that was over a thousand years ago. How can you hold a grudge?"
"It's not something you easily forget, Maddie."
He was suffering with it to this day. I knew the two had a rough past a thousand years
ago but come on! This was the 21st Century. People change. I understand that he didn't want to get hurt but he needed to trust this. He needed to trust me. Especially me.
I felt the sword grow warm against my skin. It was urging me to talk more to him, to figure out the rest of this twisted tale. Well, I wanted to know what was going on.
"If you're Arthur, Parker's Lancelot, Beca's Alymere, and Simon's Galahad, what or who the hell am I?"
A soft smile graced his face. "You're Camelot."
I frowned at the thought. "I'm the city?" That didn't sound right, even to my ears.
"No," he laughed. "You're the essence of the city."
"Do what now?"
"Camelot was a girl Merlin raised before I pulled the sword from the stone. She was an orphan who had a strange appeal for the wizard, considering he was a loner. We met when she was seven and I was twelve. We lived together for the majority of our lives. She believed men should have a distinct code to live by: chivalry and honor. That's what the basis of Camelot was raised on."
Well, I got the background information on the city. Now I needed the person. I scouted closer so our thighs brushed.
"What happened to her?" I asked.
He shivered suddenly, as if the memory were too great to deal with. "She was hurt when she was seventeen. She always lived by the theory that women could die by the sword just like men. So she trained in swordsmanship and was very good. I enjoyed watching her spar with everyone. By this point, Gawain had joined our ranks and was teaching us. She and I were sparring when I came in too quickly and sliced her arm." The pain in his eyes said more than the words did.
"It wasn't your fault."
He leaned forward, fingers gripping his hair. "I should have been more careful."
"That's not what forced her to leave, was it?"
He shook his head miserably. "I led a campaign in Gaul, trying to protect my people. I didn't know my enemy had come around my flank. They attacked at dawn. Camelot was helping arm the men when one attacked me. She came to my rescue with my sword. She fought well but in the end the man was too strong. He sliced her from shoulder to hip." He shuddered at the thought. I placed a hand on his head. "She almost died but Merlin got there in time. After a while she made the hardest decision of her life; she left me."
It all made sense now. My dream had been about her leaving them to be reincarnated. She was saving her strength to come back to them. She did it to protect them.
I understood what he was saying. He had felt betrayed by Camelot for leaving. I understood why she left as well. She had been injured and had needed Merlin's help to live. That was no life. No one wanted to depend on anyone else to live.
Actually, I knew what it felt like. I was six when it happened to me. My dad had a
collection of knives I liked to clean when he allowed me. One day he had been at work and I had gotten the key to the lock box down and pulled them out. There had been a WWII switchblade I liked so naturally I grabbed it. When I flipped it open, it slipped and cut me from my left collarbone, where I had been holding it while laying down and looking up at it, between my breasts.
My dad had grabbed me up and took me to the hospital, fearing that I'd bleed to death and leave him alone since my mom had recently passed. I had screamed for so long they had to sedate me. I had to wear bandages around my chest for three weeks. It made me self-conscious when I went back to school. Needless to say, my dad had gotten rid of his knives.
Thinking about the sudden similarities between me and my past self, I slid off the table, shuddered a breath at what I was about to do, and took my sweater off. When I looked down, the ugly scar looked back at me. It was raised and slightly jagged because when I dropped it, it had stuttered down my chest. It hurt to remember the pain, but that had kept me away from knives since I was six.
I looked up and steeled myself for what I was about to do. No guy had seen this, except my dad.
"Darren," I said, trying my hardest to keep my voice level.
"What?" he asked. His voice was thick as he tried not to cry.
"L…look at me." When he did, his face turned red and he looked away. I stepped closer. "No, no, no. Look at me."
"Put….put your shirt on, please."
I closed the distance between us, took his hand, and placed it on my chest. He tried to jerk away but I held on tightly. "This is what she felt when the blade cut into her skin. This is why she couldn't stay with you. She didn't want you to see her relying on someone else to live. That's not living, Darren."
He was staring at me. I let him see I wasn't shying away from his touch because I had done this; not a man. Then his eyes shifted down to the scar his hand was resting on. Reluctantly, he trailed a finger along the white line, stuttering when his index finger caressed my breast. I didn't flinch but I was highly aware of his touch.
"How did this happen?" he asked in whisper.
"I was playing with a knife when I was six and it slipped," I explained.
"Did it hurt?"
"Like hell." I gently moved his hand away and pulled my sweater back on. I watched him hang his head. "Did you love her?"
I don't know what possessed me to ask that question but I realized I truly wanted to
know.
He didn't answer for a moment. When he did he looked me in the eyes. "Yes. I was going to make her my queen."
I nodded. My heart was heavy. I was afraid he was in love with someone who wasn't me. Camelot and I had the same soul but our personalities were completely different. She had been a firecracker, making her presence known. I was more studious, taking my time to watch people's nuances. I didn't want him thinking I was Camelot. I wasn't; I was and am Maddie.
"How are you certain I'm the reincarnation of Camelot?" I asked just so I didn't overthink everything. He smiled suddenly. "What?"
He stood up and walked over to me. His hand came up to touch the edge of my right eye. "Because of this. Camelot's eyes were a pale green. I knew she was in you when I saw your face. You look exactly alike."
"We may look alike, but, Darren, I'm not Camelot. I'm Maddie. I just house Camelot's soul."
"I know that."
"Do you? Do you really? Or are you still so in love with Camelot that you think you love the woman who houses her soul? It's not fair to the woman if you do that."
"Maddie, you're just like Camelot whether you believe it or not. You'll just have to wait to find out."
I ran a hand through my hair, completely frustrated. "Well, hell. I wished you'd said something completely different. I don't want to be your infatuation because you think I have to be."
"What are you mumbling about?" He sounded wary as I talked to myself.
I turned to face him, resolve settling in on my face. "I don't want to be Camelot. I want to be Maddie. You're telling me you're in love with someone I used to be, not who I am now. I don't want that."
He looked down at me as he rocked back on his heels, looking younger than eighteen. I wanted to slug him.
"What do you want, Maddie?"
Before I could stop myself, I spouted, "I want you to love me for the person I am now instead of the person you want me to be."
I clapped a hand to my mouth to shut myself up. I couldn't believe I had just said that. Yes, I felt completely drawn to him and now I knew why. Yes, he was completely hot and popular. Did I truly love him? I had no clue. Did I like him? Yes, I did.
I whirled around and headed for the door. This really hadn't happened. I hadn't just blurted something so completely stupid and now he wasn't staring at me like I was an idiot.
"I'll see you later," I murmured as I neared the door.
"Maddie, wait!" Darren grabbed my elbow and spun me around.
"Darren, please just…" My response was cut off when he kissed me.
And when I say kiss, I do mean KISS. His lips were warm and soft as they moved against mine. His arms came around me, holding me flush against him. His chest was rock solid and heaving as he pulled away for a moment. When he smiled, I nearly collapsed. He laughed as he came in for more.
Not only did I sag against him, but I also wrapped my arms around him. It just felt right being in his arms. It was heaven. It could also be very dangerous.
I pulled out of his arms and stepped back. He looked as if he had been running a marathon; his cheeks were flushed and his breath came in rugged gasps. He had fully enjoyed it as much as I had.
"I need to go," I whispered as I turned.
"Wait a second."
I turned back to him and stopped. He was kneeling before me with his right fist over his heart. His blue eyes were bright as he looked at me.
"What are you doing?" I asked breathlessly.
"From this moment on, I vow to protect and serve you. You may do with me as you wish. I take my place at your side as King Arthur. Do you accept me?"
That was a loaded question if I ever heard one.