BRIAN
I am sitting at the table in the mess hall and it feels like my head is constantly being hit with a hammer. I never want to drink the same way that I did last night and when I look at Jim sitting across from me, I realized that I am probably looking just like him, if not even worse. Then he says.
"I do not know man, I stopped counting when we got to ten beers. All I know is that I am feeling like shit"
I can hear in his voice that he is struggling to speak and that he probably just had such a bad morning as I did. I tell him all about the instructor being on my case and how I had to run up and down the hill. I can see that he wants to laugh but every time he does, his head keeps on pounding even more.
"We should probably get something to eat?"
When he says those words it is almost like I want to throw up all over again. My stomach does not want to see any food but I know that I will feel better if I do eat something. I put my hands in my hair lowering my head. Then I mumble.
"Yeah...we probably should"
We slowly get up from our seats and try and make our way to the food queue. Every step that I take is painful but nevertheless, I have to keep going.
LISA
I forgot how nice the food is on the base. They really do treat us well. We make our way to a table and start to eat our food. We talk about where each of us is coming from and how long she has been here. But then out of the corner of my eye, I see a soldier walking past us. There is a lot of soldiers walking past us but for some reason, this one stands out.
I can not help but look up and stare at him because the build of his body has somehow attracts my attention. I look up to see his face and I like what I see. His brown hair is just long enough to fall just over his eyes and I see him giving a slight smile to his friend. I can not help myself as I stare at the bulging muscles coming out from under his shirt on his arm.
I do not know why I have such a reaction because I have a good boyfriend waiting for me back home. Why would I even notice anyone else if I am happy? He makes me feel all kinds of feelings that I thought were only preserved for Steve but then I can not remember when last I felt this about Steve or if I ever did.
"I would not look twice at him if I were you"
Stacy interrupts my thought process and I shake my head as I look back at her and say.
"What are you talking about?"
She smiles and then she says.
"You looked at that guy. I would not waste my time"
Suddenly my interest has peeked. I look down at the table and then smile halfway when I say.
"I was not looking..."
Then I look back into her eyes and say.
"But let's say for argument's sake that I was looking at him. Why would I not look at him?"
She giggles a little bit and then she says.
"He is bad news"
"Why?"
She turns back to look at him and then back to me and says.
"Let's just say he has a history with girls and does not exactly commit"
I look at him once more and I can not stop myself from biting my lip. I look him up and down trying to visualize how he would look at me. I can see his hands all over my body and how I want to play with those muscles on his arms with my fingernails.
"Girl! I am trying to save you from yourself. He is bad news"
I shake my head and then look back down at my food. I can not believe the thoughts that are going through my mind. I can not be distracted and most of all, I can not be cheating on a good man like Steve. He has been nothing but good to me. I should concentrate on my mission and get back home.
BRIAN
The closer we get to the food the more nauseous I begin to feel. Then Jim turns to me and says.
"Just eat as fast as you can and do not think about it. Let's start with the bacon. The more greasier the better"
I give him a slight smile as I am sure I am going to throw up.
"Can we just stop talking about it and get it done?"
He just nods his head and then we start to walk in the line. I get some bacon and I breathe deep to try and control whatever wants to come out. But then suddenly my attention is enticed somewhere else.
I see this woman sitting at a table. She must be new because she does not have a uniform on yet. Or maybe she is a consultant of some sort. But her long locks of blonde hair falling over her shoulders is teasing me. I see her talking to someone and as she smiles, I swear I stopped breathing for a second. It feels as if I want to walk up to her and pull her into me just feeling her essence against mine.
I have seen a lot of girls and have dated a lot but this one...this one seems to be different somehow. I do not know what it is about her but it is as if she is on a level of her own. I bump into Jim in front of me and then he says.
"What are you doing?!"
"Sorry, I was not watching where I was going"
He turns back to take some more food and then I can not stop myself from gazing at her again. I find myself with a frown on my face because it is almost as if she has some kind of capacity over me. As if she has shattered into my mind and I know that she is not going to leave my thoughts alone. I get Jim's attention and then I say to him.
"Do you know that girl?"
He turns around to look at her and then he says.
"No, I have never seen her before"
"I need to know who she is"
He takes me out of the queue for the food while steering me with his hand on my shoulder. He takes me out of the mess hall and then he lowers his voice.
"You know the rules. We can not date the girls on base. You can easily be discharged for that and you remember what happened last time you tried something like this"
"Yeah, I know but I just need to know her name"
I can see Jim's eyes are turning serious when he says.
"You have to forget about it. You have to forget about her. You have already been discharged once. Come on man, I need you to stay"
I can see how much he has missed me and I know that Admiral Miller already has it in for me. I take a deep breath and then I put my hand on his shoulder, saying.
"Okay..."
I can see the relief in his eyes and then we go back to the mess hall. But the moment that I walk into the hall I suddenly start to look for her. It is an involuntary reaction that I can not seem to grasp but then a severe suffering fills my heart when I realized that she is gone. I have not even talked to her yet but it feels like I will be lost without her.
I start to focus on my food again and try to get something down my throat. Lunchtime is up and we make our way back to the training room. I am feeling a bit better than this morning and so I can focus on what is being taught.
I know every answer to every question but I do not answer any one of them. I look around the room and I see all the rookies. I remember how I was one of them and how I desperately, do not want to be one of them again.
I do not want to be in a classroom anymore. I want to feel that powerful engine between my legs. I want to manipulate that machine to do my will with a touch of my finger. I am happy to be back here and I am going to try my best to stay here.
LISA
I ask Stacy if we could maybe walk the grounds and if she can show me around. I have to get out of here because I know that I am cheating on Steve in my mind. I need to get away from this man that seems to have power over me. We take our food and then she shows me all the things in the base.
I am glad to know that the gym is not too far away from our building. I like to do my workout early in the mornings and sometimes late at night. Then we go back to our room as I need to go and see my ranked officer to know at which tower I will be working.
I walk up to the main building where all the higher ranked officers work. I know that there is a possibility that I might run into my dad but I just have to keep my cool when I see him. Of course, I am not sure whether he would be able to keep his cool when he sees me.
I salute everyone that I see because I know that I am probably one of the lowest ranks at the moment. I did not miss doing this with everyone when I decided to become a psychologist. Finally, I get to the door where my head officer is situated and I knock on the door.
"Come in"
When I open the door I did not expect to see a woman. The way that everyone talked about her, I expected her to be a man. I stand at attention and then she says with a smile on her face.
"At ease soldier"
"Thank you, ma'am"
"Please take a seat"
I take a seat and then say to her.
"I am the new air controller and I was instructed to come here to see at which tower I would be working?"
"Ah, you must be Lisa Stone?"
I almost wanted to correct her but then I remember that I wanted my last name to be changed because someone might put two and two together.
"That is right ma'am"
"You are in tower B and you are assigned to pilot Captain Brian Smith. He also returned to base recently so you would not take over from anyone but start with him. Your call sign will be "Bravo Romeo 05" Do you know where Tower B is?"
"Yes, ma'am"
"Good. You can report to the tower tomorrow at 06h00 hours. Your shifts will be worked out for you each week in advance. This week it would be from 06h00 hours to 17h00 hours"
I immediately feel relieved that I do not have to go into the night shift right away.
"Do you have any questions?"
"No, ma'am"
She stands up and stretched out her hand to give me a handshake and say.
"Welcome to Beagle Air Force base. It is good to have you onboard"
"Thank you, ma'am"
"You are dismissed"
I stand up and salute her one more time while making my way out the door.
BRIAN
This day felt like a thousand years. The instructor just could not stop talking. It sounded like somebody playing with drums in my head and it just did not end. But I saw the light at the end of the tunnel as we were dismissed. All I want to do right now is fall on my bed and forget that this day ever happened. Tomorrow, we are doing the test flights and we will be jumping through a few hoops.
As I fall down on my bed I realize that I can not wait to get that machine between my legs again.