The first lesson barely had time to end before the entire school grew lazy, and no one wanted to study, waiting for the soonest holiday to arrive. The nearest holiday, according to the calendar, was New Year's Eve, celebrated with family and friends, which was why it was associated with the celebration more as a family holiday than a youth one.
Tomoyuki stood in the hallway, opened a window, and pressed himself against the wall. His intention to pare down the thoughts he had accumulated over the past weeks failed every time he added more thoughts to the mess that made him anxious. He was worried about everything around him, and being in this state all the time threatened his health as he could burn out.
'Pretty soon our school routine will be over,' he thought to himself.
Tomoyuki was in a state of apathy.
There was a gradual ruckus in the hallway from the high school students coming out of their classrooms. Tomoyuki sighed and headed towards the classroom of the parallel class where Ryou and Yumiko were sitting, and soon spotted him coming out into the hallway.
Tomoyuki called out to him, picking up his pace, after which they met each other's eyes.
"Tomoyuki-kun?"
"Would you like to get some fresh air?"
The youth could not catch sight of Yumiko, for she was just about to get up from her seat. Her cropped dark brown hair, however, managed to surprise her entire class, causing her to receive attention, albeit unwanted and unintentional.
In fact, when the members of the literature club first saw the two girls cut their hair, they spent the next few minutes looking at it with their jaws dropped open. The carriage haircut, judging by people's general reactions, suited them well and rejuvenated their looks. Akiko, in her case, wore a silver barrette on the front lock of her hair, which looked cute to her; Yumiko, on the other hand, had a thin, sparkling buckle slightly clutching the back of her hair.
As the two students approached the backyard of the school with no jackets at all, they stood under the roof so as not to get their shoes dirty in the slush.
"How strange... It's getting warmer and warmer every day, and it's going to be a new year soon, isn't it?"
Ryou had been less energetic the past few days than before. He seemed to be going through a phase of getting used to the relaxed rhythm of his studies, where no unnecessary worries touched him.
He couldn't even believe that while he was enjoying the last months of his school life, his shoulders had previously managed to complete eleven years of study. As he looked up at the roof, from which ice dripped in the open sunlight, slight shivers ran through his body, in anticipation of something happy.
Would they be able to meet after graduation? This question worried not only his head, but the thoughts of the others were immersed in this task, which seemed to them to be fraught with a whole new set of obstacles.
Ryou reacted to Tomoyuki, who huddled against the wall and crossed his arms.
"In less than two weeks Glenn will be discharged, December 30th to be exact," Tomoyuki closed his eyes. "However, he will not be allowed many things because of his health problems. He will, according to the doctor's assumptions, have at least three or four years of regular preventive care and living with disabilities. Of course, it is not necessary to accept treatment specifically in Tokyo, for he will soon be allowed to move to any other hospital in the world."
He paused briefly and glanced over at Ryou, "The only thing I can't help but wonder is if he'll be able to take the final exam. The school will freely allow prolonged absence if there is a reason, but will he be allowed to take the last exam with his failure, which will be in March?"
Ryou realized that worrying about Glenn made sense, for his current situation was becoming incomprehensible.
"Maybe Glenn has his own reasons for not worrying about it, since he hasn't broached the subject before. But surely he's bound to do something about it," Ryou suggested, and a comforting smile appeared on his face. "Why don't we ask him the next time we see him?"
Tomoyuki accepted his suggestion and could be satisfied with that answer, for there was nothing else to do.
"Yes. I think you're right."
"That's fine."
Tomoyuki stepped forward and turned to Ryou, "Something else concerns me. Our school life will soon come to an end, Ryou-kun."
Ryou was silent, lowering his eyes.
"Nevertheless, there's a possibility that we'll stop seeing each other anymore and split up... I by no means wish for that outcome, but we need to consider it as a possible end to our relationship. So... Ryou-kun, don't you want to start dating Yumiko-chan before you graduate?"
"Yeah... That thought won't leave my mind either. Don't worry, I'll do whatever it takes. I just want us all to keep in touch after school, and I don't want to split up... And Yumiko-chan... She's become something more to me."
Tomoyuki felt relieved after his encouraging words and sighed, releasing all the tension he'd been holding in for days.
"In that case, I'll help you, Ryou-kun. At least this way I'll be glad of my actions and be able to forgive myself. You could consider it atonement!"
"I wish you had just said you were willing to help in a friendly way."
"That's nice!"
'Forgive me, but otherwise I won't be able to settle down... I will definitely protect our friendship and become your support, because that's the only way we can continue to communicate after we graduate from school.'
Ryou called softly to him:
"We... won't have any more problems? No more trials?"
"Eh, I don't know... Honestly, I don't even know what's going to happen tomorrow, and what I want to finish today. What do you think, Ryou-kun? Aren't we going to have any trouble that we kids might run into?"
"I am incomprehensible to myself."
"I see... That says a lot, but I can't judge you, for I am among those people to whom you describe yourself. I used to have no friends, or rather, until I graduated from high school. I'm an outcast."
"Don't say that. You were just unlucky with your circumstances if you didn't have any friends. If it's different now, does that mean you've found yourself in your community?"
"Maybe I was lucky enough to meet any of you. Ryou-kun, I'm telling the truth-most people I thought were pieces of shit, but you've changed me, and it's for the best. I have no intention of losing you."
Ryou, glancing over at the windows of the school hallway, where students from different classes walked, softly replied:
"You have been distrustful of people. Since this is our last year at school, it needs to be spent without regrets, so let's leave all the bad things for later. And if we're lucky, forever."
"We will definitely celebrate the new year together, won't we?" Tomoyuki asked, to which Ryou nodded.
"Our last months of school will be the most memorable, I'm sure of it."
Ryou looked up at the open sky, and his thoughts came to one conclusion.
'In other words, I have no desire to distance myself from you...not one step.'
Tomoyuki thought to himself: 'I will protect our relationship, for our friendship is the only thing through which I can still move forward. You are the only reason I feel alive. Lord, if you can hear me...let me at least redeem myself this way.'
***
During the next class, Ryou put his cheek to the palm of his hand, and as he looked at Yumiko, who was diligently doing her schoolwork, he blurted out his sympathy. No matter how many times he looked at her, he always admired her beauty.
He sighed with boredom and lay face down on his desk.
'I wish I could be closer to you,' he thought, blushing red.
Yumiko discreetly glanced over at Ryou to see why he was lying face down on the desk, and assumed that he was getting bored listening to the teacher.
As recess rang and the whole class said goodbye to the teacher, Ryou walked over to Yumiko and pressed himself against the edge of her desk. He looked back at his classmates with a neutral glance and asked her:
"How close do you get with the whole class? I wondered, for I have not had to get close to them myself."
"Do they seem a pale background to you?"
"Compared to you, yes, but after all, I say hello to them when I enter the classroom."
Yumiko had known before that Ryou did not treat all people equally and considered many faceless because they were uninteresting in conversation or anything else.
"How lovely. But sometimes a person has to blend into a different society. Especially since you, Ryou-kun, draw a lot of people's attention to you, which means your presence doesn't seem like something ordinary to them."
"It doesn't lead to anything good. I like being alone or with people close to me. Yumiko-chan, is that a problem?"
Yumiko, leafing through the notebook to the next blank page, said:
"You'll get used to it. In the future you'll come to realize that socializing with people is a useful thing."
"Well..." Ryou retorted, scratching the back of his head. "I can exchange small talk with them for a short time. After all, it's an essential thing in society."
"Good point! Small talk is necessary to start a conversation with a stranger or to move on to more important topics. It's a bridge for various dialogues, so to speak!"
Yumiko, for all her lack of charisma, was open and did not deny herself expressions of joy in the presence of friends. Her ability to twirl a ballpoint pen in the palm of her hand amazed Ryou's attention.
"All the more so," she added, "with small talk, it's easier to make formal conversations. It will be needed in the future. About the future... Ryou-kun, have you chosen where you want to enroll?"
"Enroll? If I go to a university, I'll only go to one that accepts me... Honestly, Yumiko-chan, I want to study where you're going. If we get to meet at the same university as our whole circle, nothing would make me happier."
"You think so...?"
Yumiko lowered her eyelashes. She was both pleased and deeply creeped out to hear his desire for such a future. He, it seemed to her, had no personal opinion and discarded his desire to teach what he liked best. This, in Yumiko's opinion, leads to an unhappy and unwanted future. For nothing is eternal, and clinging to friendship alone is not worth it. No path is destined by fate, for destiny is chosen by people themselves.
"Are you sure this is your path?"
"Truth be told," Ryou chuckled, "I don't know what I want to be. Moreover, it would be inconvenient not to see the four of you, because I am not good at goodbyes. And I have something I want to do before I graduate."
Ryou smiled toward Yumiko, thus leaving her wondering what the young man meant.
She was not happy with this position, for in this way Ryou was literally abandoning his life path.
"Then begin to ponder it!" she replied with all the encouragement she could muster. "What subject do you like best and what profession you are interested in. Please start thinking about what you want to do as an individual!"
"Oh, sure..."
"I'm not imposing anything on you, it's just advice. I'm just worried about you guys..."
Ryou was mortified by her tenderness. For her sake he would do anything, sacrifice everything and fulfill any wish she had-just to satisfy her whim. If she wants him to think about enrollment, Ryou will certainly take up the cause.