[Ryou Hayashi's Monologue]
When did it all start?
From the day I came to this school, I was surrounded by attention and feminine care. Others wouldn't say they weren't happy with it, but my situation was freezing me out. I, a man who had no interest in any society but the one closest to my heart, would not become involved in any of the events and turmoil my peers go through.
All my life I have lusted for peace of mind. Who knows, maybe I was born that way myself? I had little contact with my father, but my mother didn't often tell me about their humdrum lives. At any rate, they had little free time; they lived their jobs.
A family business that blossomed in front of competitors and consumers, barely entering the scene. They left us at their homestead, where my father's ancestors had previously lived. That was probably the reason why I decided not to go down the path originally set by my father. Maybe there was a good reason to hate their family business, for I had been a child and was angry that we had been left in the care of housekeepers and nannies.
As I thought about it, I managed to forget that it was evening outside. The curtains that hid my small room from the sunlight were no longer able to meet my needs, so I got out of bed, pulled them open, and went out onto the balcony.
In front of me was the view from the twenty-five-story apartment. Evening. The city glowed with multicolored beams of buildings, floodlights, car headlights, and large signs with advertisements spinning.
"This view… it will never cease to amaze me."
It's true. Before I moved to Tokyo, I associated this city with relentless movement, locked in a cycle of business, competition, and technology. On such thoughts, no city could be considered festive — there, after all, you can sense the restlessness of people living the same job everywhere. It is not life, but survival.
I won't go back on my word — my expectations were met. But the only thing I was wrong about was that I thought Tokyo was a haven for the lost. It turned out to be a lot more fun than it might be at first glance.
This city has emotions. It is like a whole organism, and every stomp of people seems to me to be the beating of its heart. People are the soul of Tokyo, not business or technology. And the school my soul wandered into, I will remember as the place where I was picked up and sent to the very hearth of events. That's what I didn't expect the most, and what kind of a quiet life is it when every month things happen around my eyes that I never thought I'd encounter?
I don't want to stand out from the rest. Students all care about showing up on the wrong side of themselves in front of their peers and classmates, and they care about not being mocked and considered stupid. But who the hell cares who and how they look at you? Is it supposed to affect something that will change your life?
Personally, I was blinded by the goal of graduating quickly, whether I would make friends or not. About friends… could I have guessed that I would make friends here? Maybe. Could I have thought that I would become so attached to them that every day would be a joy to see them? No, I didn't.
I want to protect them. We've been through a lot together…something that might seem unreal to any other person. That's what binds us together — we're all of the same cloth. We all had problems, and together we solved them. Attachment epitomizes addiction.
What is the difference between this city and Kyoto? To me, Kyoto is much quieter. The pictures on the Internet don't lie — it's really beautiful there. As for my personal preference… My friends live there, who taught me a lot and with whom I haven't seen any trouble. Compared to my literary club friends, they are quiet. That's the irony.
Maiko-chan was the only one who taught me anything. I remember her long, ashy hair, and she clearly made the right choice of color. Without even flinching, she taught me school subjects all day long, of her own free will. I never would have done that on my own. She's the reason my grades are so high, where do I rank in school? Second? First, I think, is Yumiko-chan, and third is Glenn-kun.
I hope life goes without hardship with Maiko-chan, for she deserves it more than any person in the world. But her relationship with Oda… They were in love three years ago, and I don't think they can separate. Their love is too strong.
Anyway, Maiko-chan is a genius, and such people are rare. As for Oda, he's just an ordinary guy who has two part-time jobs: as a cashier in a grocery store and as a gas station attendant. He's not different from the rest of the crowd except for his tough build and expressive eyes, but who cares — that's not the case why we love him.
As for love, I wondered how I came to the conclusion that I was in love with Yumiko-chan.
As soon as I thought about it, a cool wind came over me, blowing my long hair all over my face. It's been bothering me ever since I started playing volleyball with Tomoyuki-kun. They should be bundled up.
Is love really important, and what use can it be? I can't answer that question, since my experience in such matters is quite tiny. I dated Aiko-chan for a few months and we even had sex, after which I realized that I didn't consider her my girlfriend. But Aiko-chan is a good, no, she's a great friend who will always come to the rescue. Much has I learned through her about love as a structure of human charm.
But I don't deserve to call myself her ex-boyfriend. Alas, I haven't had the luck to show my feelings, and I wish I could change that. Aiko-chan… she's a very nice person.
I wouldn't mind putting up with all the difficulties teenagers face and turning a blind eye to everything, if I were protected and cared for by my dear people. In this world I want to coexist with the members of the literary club, and if the opportunity presents itself, I will certainly surrender myself to their embrace.
For I have chosen my ultimate circle of people whose companionship it is important for me to become. I don't care about others or anything else.
This is our last school year, after which we can part ways and never meet again… How despicable, and there's no way to get out of it. Only, if they also want to not end our joint story, we will only get a chance to see each other afterwards. I don't want that ending. I like being with them and seeing them every new day. Just want to stay in my comfort zone.
***
Yumiko and Ryou were sitting in the club room. Ryou opened his briefcase and pulled out a book. It didn't take a second for Yumiko to become interested in it.
"Ryou-kun, did you buy a new book?"
"Got it from the school library. Do you know the author?"
Ryou handed her the book, and Yumiko, taking a careful look at the cover and title, nodded.
"Of course. This novel is a classic of its genre. I'm surprised you read books. I thought you weren't interested in such things."
'There's a schoolgirl sitting across the table right now,' the young man thought to himself, 'who used to spend most of her time reading and studying. And now she's beginning to take the usual teenage pastimes into consideration, too.'
"Since you've purchased it, be sure to read it. I'm sure you'll like it."
"Ah… Uh-huh. Books are the doctrine of life, so…"
"That depends on the work itself," she kept her gentle gaze on Ryou. "I mean, if you read fiction, the author in it tried to show the various social problems of their times and the values of life in a realistic way," and she put her palm to her cheek. "Works like that try to stick in your heart for a long time."
"But as realistic as it may seem, the situations described in the story have hardly been truly encountered by people…"
"Bull's-eye," she smirked sweetly, causing Ryou, enraptured by her beauty, to avert his eyes. He groaned as if for the first time.
"Yumiko-chan…"
There was a lull. The brown-eyed schoolgirl, who was waiting for him to continue, did not make a squeak.
'Yumiko-chan, if you only knew the warmth you give to those around you. You're so beautiful, I'd sprinkle roses all over.'
"Do you like anyone?"
"A-ah? Well, n-no."
She casually wondered what had provoked him to ask such a direct question.
"Really?! Oh, how nice," Ryou added dreamily, as if he were glowing with hope.
'It's written all over his face!'
Calming down, she added: "I hardly care, since I have studies to attend to now."
"Really? Well, I think someone will surely appear who will melt your very heart, Yumiko-chan, and cause you to start shining just like a bright star in the enchanted night sky."
Yumiko was stunned by the animated tone of his voice.
Ryou laid his head on the table and indulged in a reverie full of romance. He, joyful, finally made sense of who he'd been sympathizing with all this school year.
'I really love Yumiko Satou. All of her.'