I slowly wake up to that bumpy carriage ride. I loop around and everyone is asleep except for Inell. He's sitting on the floor leaning up against the backdoor wrapped up in a blanket and sleeping. Everyone else is awake.
I'm sitting near the front of the carriage. Kiaran is sitting across from me, Aubrey is sitting next to him. Cesre is sitting next to me, and Freware is sitting next to her.
"Oh hey, Azariah, did you sleep well?" Kiaran says.
"Yeah, I did." Well, I did sleep well except for Kiaran waking me up in the middle of my sleep and Inell having to carry me to the carriage with his winds. Except for that, I slept pretty well, actually.
I sit up and rub my eyes. I yawn and stretch. I'd like to start drawing now, since that's what I always do in the mornings but I didn't bring any paper or other drawing materials with me.
There's not really anything for me to do, so I begin another part of my morning routine. I close my eyes, grab my hands, and bend down. Kari, I'm sorry for not being able to offer you anything today, but I'm sure you'll-
"What are you doing?" Kiaran asks me.
…I'm sure you'll understand, and I'm using this as a way to pursue magic, so you should be fine with this as well. I'm sorry for-
"Azariah?"
"Can you wait for a second, Kiaran?" I'm sorry for not praying to you three times a day yesterday like I normally do. I hope you can-
"Do any of you know what she's doing?"
"Shh, she's praying." Cesre says.
"Praying?"
I hope you can forgive me for that. Focusing on something so hard it slips my mind pleases you, doesn't it? Or would it please you more if that devotion were focused towards you? Maybe you could tell me? Or at least give me a sign? That's all I wanted to say. I'll speak to you again during lunch. Bye, Kari.
"OK, I'm done now."
"I didn't really take you to be the religious type, Azariah." Kiaran says.
"It's not that." I say.
"You were praying to strengthen your bond with an entity, right? The Archon of Wind, right?" Cesre says. I just nod.
"Oh right. I heard Ruse say something about that while we were in the Ulfur Forest."
"Kiaran, have you seriously never prayed before? You were able to use magic from both the Nature and Water Archons during our duel."
"I could only use one spell for each of them though. I haven't really been able to figure this whole magic thing out yet. You're definitely a whole lot better at it than me, Azariah."
"Diana and Proteus are my matrons." Begins Freware. "I use their power often, although I rely on Diana more. You seem like a good fit for Proteus, but Diana I'm not so sure about. If you'd like help, I wouldn't mind."
"Really? I'm kind of an idiot, so are you sure that will be OK?"
"Oh don't worry, I've definitely interacted with dumber."
"Well, if you're sure that it's fine…"
"Hey Azariah," Cesre begins, spiking my anxiety "You were praying to Kári, right? Do you have any connections to other Archons?"
"Oh, uh… mostly just Kári… I can cast one spell under Adad, and that's it…"
"Hm, well I have connections to Kári, Adad, and Florian. I'm trying to get a connection with Seshat, but it's really difficult. I've had to work really hard on strengthening my current connections, so if you also want to learn from me…"
She's offering? Could her connection with Kári be greater than mine? Her body seems fairly small and weak so maybe she specializes in magic? No, even if I have a stronger connection with Kári, strengthening my connection to Adad would probably be a good idea. Florian was the Archon of Fire, wasn't he? Maybe forming a connection with him would be a good idea…
"I'm fine with that…" I say.
"Alright, I'll show off just what I can do when we stop for lunch…"
For some reason, Aubrey and Freware both seem really nervous when Cesre says this. Can you cool it with those expressions? You're going to freak me out as well…
><><><><
We stop for lunch shortly after Inell wakes up. We stop in the middle of a forest, so Freware and Kiaran go out foraging trying to get us enough food for a filling lunch. They manage to gather us a lunch of wild fruits and berries. It doesn't look particularly filling, but I'm sure it will be much tastier than our rations.
"So you're going to want to close your eyes and try your best to talk to Proteus in your head."
"Alright, got it."
"Don't talk while you're praying, you'll lose focus. Just act as casual as you normally do, she eats that kind of stuff up."
As they eat, Freware tries to teach Kiaran to pray to the Archon of Water in order to strengthen his connection. Kiaran's already probably stronger than me at this point and he's training right now. This can't do. Closing my eyes, I begin to pray.
Hey Kari, I said I'd talk to you again during lunch, right? Well I just wanted to tell you, I really want to take my relationship with you to a new level. I know I'm trying to expand the amount of connections I have right now, but I just want to let you know that you'll always be my first. Although given the fact you had… 98 husbands you wouldn't really care about that. I doubt you'd see me in that sort of way anyway but I can't even begin to describe the amount of joy I would feel if you did. I don't even care about the fact you had over 100 wives.
Please go on assisting me as you have. No matter how many connections I go on to form, or how many entities I wind up drawing to me, I still want to rely on you, Kari. I'll keep talking to you everyday until you talk back to me. I know you have a lot of followers, and that you don't have the time for the vast majority of them, but that doesn't mean I don't want to be part of the minority. I'll keep trying to strengthen my connection with you, Kari, so just wait for me.
Finished praying, my eyes open. That probably isn't going to do much, but I can't just sit around here doing nothing while Kiaran gets stronger. I guess I'm supposed to be eating right now, so I guess that's something. I'm not going to get anywhere if I don't eat so I should probably start.
"You're done praying, Azariah?" Cesre asks.
"Oh… yes…"
"To Kari, right?"
"Yes…"
"What about Adad? Do you ever pray to Adad?"
"Only when I'm about to use her spell."
"I see, well that just won't do. Do you want to strengthen your connection with her?"
What? Strengthen my connection with Adad? Well I mean, Adad does have some really great offensive spells that I could use but I'm not sure how well I'll… no, why are you hesitating? Azariah doesn't hesitate, she does whatever she wants whenever she wants to do it! There's no reason that Azariah shouldn't say yes to Cesre's gracious offer!
"Alright, I will…"
"Good. Now be warned, I'm sure you know since you've used a spell of Adad's before, but she can be really draining with your mana. You'll want to keep use of that connection down to a minimum. Adad's power is great, yes, but it comes at a high cost."
Alright, I knew this. All of this is stuff Lucidna told me already, but I guess it's good to hear it again from another mouth.
"So, what's the spell that you can do under Adad right now?"
"Oh… just a basic lightning strike. That's like her version of an air blade, isn't it?"
"Correct. Now what do you want out of a connection to Adad?"
"What I want?"
"Yes. Adad works best when you're clear about wanting something from her. No matter how absurd the demand is, if you have both the greed and ambition to take it from her, she'll definitely give it to you. She's the most generous of the Archons, but you'll have to demand it from her. Now, what do you want from her?"
Generous but only gives you anything if you're really assertive about it… that's kind of an oxymoron, isn't it? Oh well, this is valuable information about Adad. The only Archon with whose personality I really know anything about is Kari, and maybe Beira, so I need to listen. What Cesre's telling me right now will determine just how strong my connection with Adad can be.
So I need to want something from Adad for a connection to work well. What do I want from Adad? Magic? Power? Power could be a good thing to want, but is that really what I want? The thing I want most right now is to get better at magic, but would that work with her? "I want to know just what I can do with your power" is it really OK to say that?
"Well, have you thought of something? If it's taking you this long, Adad might not be for you." Cesre says.
"Cesre… would it work if I wanted to know just what I could do with a connection with Adad? Does that count as a want she could fulfill?"
"Of course, that's actually pretty good." Cesre smiles.
Huh? So it is OK? Just what kind of woman was Adad if that's the kind of thing she likes…
"So you've passed the first step. Now you have to demand that from Adad. Now, the difference between Kari and Adad, is that Kari is a whole lot friendlier than her. Acting really friendly with Kari is sure to strengthen a connection with him, but that isn't the case with Adad."
Oh no, being able to be really casual about it is what I really love about my connection with Kari. Not having to worry about messing anything up with him is honestly a god send. If I can't act that way about a connection with Adad, it's a surefire way to get my anxiety acting up again.
"With Adad, you have to be really assertive about it. If you can demand anything from her and mean it, as long as it's within her power, she'll deliver it to you. If you can get the hang of that, you can pretty much dish out however much power you want from her. The hard part is getting smaller and more intricate spells working, but going for sheer power isn't difficult at all. There's just one problem with that…"
One problem? Just what do you mean by that, Cesre? That sounds really important.
"Like I said before, Adad's power absolutely drains through your mana. You can ask for whatever as long as you're assertive enough about it, but the cost will be repaid in your own mana. It's incredibly easy to drain all your mana with just one or two of her spells without even realizing it. It's something that's happened to me quite a lot."
I see… so as long as I can get past my anxiety again and start demanding it from Adad, I'll be able to deal out a whole lot of power, but it's really easy to put too much power into it and wind up wasting mana… I tend to get carried away while using magic, so I'll have to keep that in mind.
"Uh, hey guys, I don't mean to alarm you, but there's a treant that's running right for us right now…" Those words from Freware suddenly stop all of us in our tracks.
"What? How do you know?"
"I just cast "Spatial Awareness," and it came up. It's only about twice as tall as a man, so I should be able to deal with it on my own."
"No, let me do it." Cesre says.
"You're a mage, you need to save up on mana." Freware says.
"Oh come on, it's just a treant. Besides, I want to show Azariah just what a connection with Adad can do."
"Fine, just don't overdo it."
"Oh, I'm definitely going to overdo it." Freware groans when Cesre says this.
Cesre gets up and starts gathering up a huge portion of mana. The air runs static, just like the first time I saw Lucidna cast a lightning bolt. A rustle in the forest can be heard, that only gets louder. Aubrey and Kiaran pick up their weapons, but Freware and Inell just keep sitting still. If Inell's not worried, then I'm just going to watch Cesre deal with it on her own.
Suddenly, a huge tree monster comes out of the forest and starts roaring at us. It's a bipedal thing, made entirely out of wood, probably about 11 or so feet tall. This would normally cause me to panic, but I'm far too excited for what Cesre's going to do.
Then a flash of light nearly blinds me, a loud explosion absolutely crushes my ear drums, causing them to start ringing. Dust is kicked up from the explosion, obscuring what I can see, even after my eyesight returns to me.
As the commotion dies down, I see that there's nothing remaining of that treant, just a smoking, black crater, and pieces of scorched wood all over the place. Everyone else is shouting for some reason, but I'm too busy being completely encompassed by awe to care.
Would I have managed to bring that massive thing down? I certainly wouldn't have been able to completely vaporize it like Cesre just did… Oh my God, and that's just a simple spell, right? Just how much farther could I possibly take that if I just practiced a little?! Oh, this is starting to get me really excited!
"So, that was one of Adad's spells. A simple lightning bolt, just with a whole lot more power put into it."
><><><><
Cesre got scolded for that, but after everyone else was done yelling at her, I was practically begging her to keep teaching me.
"OK, so pray like you normally do for Kari, just be a whole lot more assertive about it. Imagine what you want to happen and do it. That's all there really is to it."
I close my eyes and begin praying. Hey Adad! Just what can you do?! Can I use your power to vaporize this tree that's right in front of me, please?! I gather up the mana, and supercharge it with my ambition. I open my eyes and fire a lightning bolt at the tree right in front of me.
"Lightning!" The bolt forms around me and strikes the tree right in the center, instantly cutting it in half, while generating a bright light and large boom noise. The tree then falls onto the ground, as if I had just cut it down with an ax.
"Wow. See, that's what you can do if you're really clear about what you want." Cesre seems proud but I can't help but be disappointed. That wasn't anywhere near the level of destruction I had wanted to cause.
"Hm? What's wrong Azariah?"
"I had wanted to vaporize the tree, like you did with that… treant from earlier, but it didn't come out that powerful…"
"Hm, I see. You're probably being too nice to Adad, and that wasn't nearly enough time to charge up an attack like that. The amount of time it takes to charge one of Adad's spells grows exponentially to how much power you want to put into it. Like when I attacked that treant, I started charging up the spell long before I even heard it coming. That's around the amount of time you're going to want to charge it up if you want an effect like that."
"OK, I understand. I'll wait for longer before firing this time."
"Hold on, hold on, that's not it. You were also being way too nice to Adad weren't you? You want to know just how far you can push Adad's power right? If you want that, you're going to have to be a whole lot more forceful with her. She won't mind, trust me. In fact, she really respects that stuff. Just be greedier, got that?"
Adad wants me… to be forceful with her? No, get that thought out of your head, Azariah.
"Yes, I believe I do." I say
"Alright, then try again."
Alright Adad, give me your power! Cesre said I could be forceful with you so that's just what Azariah's going to do, because Azariah doesn't shy away from that! Show me the limits of your power, Adad! I demand it!
The air goes still around me. Static shocks poke at my skin as power flows through my veins. Oh, if I'm not too careful, I'm going to wind up getting addicted to this. Azariah isn't worried about that though! Adad! More power! I need more! Give me more!
Sparks of electricity start going off around me. I can feel the charge of mana flowing over my skin. It's absolutely exhilarating, and I haven't even fired the spell yet, I'm still just gathering mana! Go big or go home, right! More power, Adad! Did you really think such a puny amount could possibly satisfy Azariah?! Just how stupid are you?!
A sharp pain stabs through my heart, nearly causing me to lose focus. I can't put any more mana into this spell. Oh, I wound up sucking up all the mana within my entire capacity into one big spell, and I hadn't even realized until I was about to start using my life force to supplement it.
Oh, that goes beyond just terrifying. If I was going through a thrill like when I was flying for the first time, could I really keep myself from sucking that dry as well? My limbs have started to shake. I can't keep a hold of this energy for much longer. I realize that if I were to fire all of this into a tree right next to me, I'd probably wind up killing myself and Cesre. Jeez, Adad really is no joke…
I quickly correct my mistake and fire at a tree much farther away. The effect is much greater than what Cesre did to that treant. I see the tree, a flash of light, and then I don't see the tree. That's all there really was to it.
A loud explosion happens, it's as if God himself decided to smite that tree. There aren't even any scorching remains of wood, my attack had made it completely disappear. Not only that, the surrounding trees were even knocked over just from the shockwave of the attack. If I had fired that anywhere near Cesre and I, that shockwave probably would have outright liquefied our internal organs. Talk about scary.
><><><><
Cesre asked me some questions but I was too busy gawking at the destruction I had caused with all of my mana to be able to hear any of them.
Then everyone else came to scold me, which made me really upset, but Cesre defended me. Kiaran was also really excited, but that wasn't nearly enough to offset just how angry Inell looked at me. It was my fault, I really shouldn't be going around using up all of my mana in one big attack, that isn't a very good idea combat wise.
I really need to learn how to conserve my many when I'm using a connection with Adad. I either have to figure that out, or just never use her spells, and after that I don't think I'm going to be able to stop.
The feeling of that attack after I sent it out, was absolutely superb. It was like the relief and exhilaration when you finally managed to complete something incredibly difficult, like a hard videogame level. It was like that, except I could feel it in every muscle of my body. I have to use some more of Adad's power, but it's going to be a bit difficult to really get the chance to, I think…
><><><><
We eventually stop for dinner. Freware managed to catch another deer for us to eat, and she and Kiaran cooked it. I've decided that in terms of me liking it, venison is above chicken and above steak, so I'm looking forward to it.
As I eat, I think back to the events of today. I really want to try and use more of Adad's spells as soon as we get to the monster congregation. I think I'll also ask Lucidna to help me with conserving my mana, and some of Adad's more intricate spells. I know that lightning magic can do a whole assortment of interesting thing, so I wonder if I'll be just as entranced in those aspects, or if it's just the feeling of power the simpler spells give me that's causing me to enjoy it too much.
I haven't had another dream about that river, so I'm starting to think it wasn't actually any sort of entity. I'll keep on reading through Lucidna's book, of course, but I think I was focusing too heavily on that to get anything else really done. I guess I have Cesre to thank for snapping me out of it. I have to thank her for the sheer power she allowed me to feel as well when she corrected my limited understanding of the Archon of Lightning.
Ah seriously, what is she going to do if I fall in love with her? Given my track record with this sort of thing that's honestly a huge risk for her. She definitely has the kind of body I'm most interested in, too.
I cast another glance at Cesre's eyes. She's focused on eating, like everybody else, so maybe if I look at them a bit, she won't notice? No, too risky. Her eyes are enchanting, but there's no way I won't get noticed if I stare at someone right in the eyes.
Because of that, my own eyes drift down, towards her hands. She's so pale, and her skin is so smooth. That, along with her eyes, honestly just make me want to stare at her face from so close I would be able to feel her breath. It's just something about how pale she is that's setting me off in a similar way to what her eyes did. She's honestly so pretty…
There's honestly just one thing that's ticking me off about her, though. Her hair! It's so messy and frizzly, and I desperately want to brush it. Honestly, that might not be enough to fix the frizziness. I really want to wash her hair. Wet it, shampoo it, condition it properly, and just keep on brushing. Since the baths in this country are communal, I could probably do that too…
The thought of taking a bath with Cesre instantly causes butterflies to flutter up in my stomach. Imagining being able to wash her, and touch that perfect skin all I want. Being naked with her, being able to stare at her flat chest all I want… She has the cute frame that I desperately love, and the flat chest that I find so utterly attractive on a woman.
I just had an amazing idea. Imagine both of us taking a bath together, and washing each other, but Cesre can't stop staring at my boobs. Whenever she stares at them, she then goes to stare at her own chest in disappointment. And when I ask her what's wrong, she'll complain about how well endowed I am. And when she starts to seem really upset, I'll gently grab her head, and hold it to my chest, as I rub one of my hands against her back and I'll tell her just how much I love her small chest.
Aaaah! I want it, I want it, I want it, I want it, I want it, I want it, I want it so badly! Aaaaah! We haven't bathed in a while, maybe I can convince Aubrey to let us stop and bathe at a river or something along the way? The only other girl in the party is Freware, and she has a similar body to me.
I'd really like it if she held me from behind, started groping me and rubbing her boobs against my back. We'd grab each other's boobs while Cesre just watches feeling left out… Aaaaah! Why can't I have this!?
Ugh, shut up. Why am I getting so happy just thinking about seeing Freware & Cesre naked? Just how creepy am I? Obsessing over two women I just met with a few days ago and have barely talked to. I mean, it was honestly just that. Happiness. It wasn't… like that… is what I'd tell myself to convince me I didn't do anything wrong.
Just focus on eating! Try and ignore this ever happened.
><><><><
I wade through a pitch black river with the light of thousands of close galaxies overhead. I don't remember how long I've been walking through here, but I understand that I must keep moving forward.
I realize what this is. The dream must have just started. I look down at my naked body, and I get no emotional reaction. I think back to just how disgusting I thought I was when I was fantasizing about Cesre, but I get no emotional reaction. I think back to how I was getting scolded earlier today, but I get no emotional reaction.
Doesn't this make me kind of a sociopath? In this state at least. Even thinking about that though, doesn't give me any sort of emotion. I think about doing all sorts of sexual things to Kiaran, Inell, Lucidna, and Cesre, but I don't feel disgusting, but I feel aroused. Arousal! I can feel arousal! OK, I'm making progress!
"Hm, that's quite strange. Normally you shouldn't be able to feel any sort of emotions within this place."
I turn around, and find the entity from the first time I dreamt this dream. Their appearance is the exact same as the first time, and they're still in the boat that makes the pitch black water glow light blue. Their voice this time was undoubtedly feminine. It was high pitched, but it still talked in a slow, elegant manner.
I try to ask any questions but once again, I can't find anything worth saying. I desperately try to ask every single question that possibly comes to mind, but nothing flows from my mouth.
"Can I form a connection with you?" Except that one. For some reason, I can say that one just fine. I didn't even want to ask that question, but since it came to mind, I tried saying it like all the others, not expecting it to work.
"My, what an interesting character you are. The answer to that question is "Right now, no, later, maybe." I'm curious, are there any other questions you're capable of asking? You're capable of feeling aroused in this place, so are there any other questions you can ask?"
I'm wondering the same thing as you, miss. Is what I want to say but it also doesn't come out. I keep trying to say more things, but I subconsciously decide that they aren't worth saying.
"That's enough. We're done here, we'll talk later. Either when you do it again, or if my curiosity for your character grows too much to bear. I wonder what will happen first? I'm rather curious and you're rather reckless all things considered so I wonder what will happen first?"
It described me as reckless! Is that what caught its attention? No, if it was that little, this thing would be interested in nearly every human in the world. Is it a specific action I took while being reckless? What could that be, though?
"How about a bet? I don't have anything that you would want other than my power, and I'm aware that Lucidna told you to be cautious, so it'll just be for fun. Why do you think I'll speak to you next? Because my curiosity grew too strong, or because you caught my eye again? Raise your right hand for the former and your left for the latter, since you can't speak yet."
A bet? I mean we aren't betting anything so it's just a friendly wager right? I raise my left hand.
"Oh? You think your lust goes beyond my curiosity? I knew I was right to speak with you. I'll be quite happy if you can find out just what you did to catch my eye before I must see you again, Azariah."