The next day Lawrence had to give me a check up, as expected. All three of us were sitting in my room, Lawrence poking and prodding, Cam sitting there keeping an eye on him. I know they had been friends for a long time, but for some reason Cam is really protective of me. Which means he's not going to like this next part very much.
"Hey, Cam, do you think I could talk to Lawrence alone?"
His head jerks in my direction, shock on his face. "Why would you ask that?"
"Well..." I pretend to be embarrassed. "He's a kind of doctor who specializes in vampire biology, right? Ive been having some issues that I thought he could answer." Lawrence looks at me skeptically
" What kind of issues, my love? Why can't I help?" Cam asks, looking like a kicked puppy.
Oh, my poor baby. I'll have to make it up to him later. "Woman issues, hun. It's kind of a sensitive topic."
This brings a flush to Cam's face. He nods and walks out of the room.
Lawrence raises an eyebrow at me. "What's the real reason you want to talk to me alone? There's no way you'd ask me anything like that."
I give him a cheeky smile. "I need your help, please. Cam won't tell me everything. What's everything I need to know about being bonded?"
I can feel the Cactus getting frustrated. Yep, his demeanor had earned him that nickname for sure now. "That damn idiot didn't tell you what to expect?"
"Well, he told me some," I day defensively. "But he won't tell me everything. Like, why am I so weak when he's not around? How come being around him calms me down so much? Why do I hate being away from him?"
Lawrence puts his head in his hands. "I swear, that spoiled little child has done it this time." He looks up and crosses his arm over his chest. "Okay, listen carefully. Bonding 101. The point of being bonded with another vampire is to reproduce. It's built into our DNA. Over millennia, We've developed certain links to our mates in an attempt to not only encourage reproduction, but to protect our females. Believe it or not, vamps are very territorial. You feel weak because your bond is new, and it's a very fragile time for both of you as your systems adjust to being linked. Your partner's presence soothes you because you can't exactly get busy when you're erratic. You hate being away from him because your body wants to be with him, if you know what I mean."
I blush slightly. " So the whole point of being bonded is to have sex?"
" In a nutshell, yes. It's instinct. Since female vampires are so rare, we have to protect them at all costs. The goal of reproduction is the idea that born vampires are stronger than made ones. It's just innate mentalities that help our species survive. Survival of the fittest and all that crap."
Okay, this actually kind of made sense. I learned in school that humans are attracted to certain kinds of people based on a survival instinct from caveman times. " Is there anything else I should know?"
He thinks for a moment. " Well, at some point you're going to have to be presented to the council. We've been putting it off since you're so fragile right now. They'll inspect you and take down all of your information, officially logging you as a vampire. It should go smoothly since you're progressing well now, but they're these crotchety old guys who enforce the rules, so they can be intimidating."
See, this is one of those things Cam probably wouldn't have told me until it was right around the corner. This is why I hated him thinking I was weak. "What can I do to get stronger?" I ask, voice filled with determination.
For a moment, just a brief moment, the Cactus actually looks impressed. Then his face goes back to it's usual sour look. "Well, you need to get better at being away from Cameron. He can't do what he needs to do if you're always feinting. I think I can give you a supplement that will suppress some of your symptoms. Then you need to get used to being around people without ripping out their to throats. I recommend going somewhere where you don't know anyone. That way if someone does get hurt, you don't know them."
" Jeez what a sunny outlook, thanks." I say sarcastically.
" I'm being serious here. How would you feel if you hurt your mom, or your best friend? If you hurt a stranger, you may feel bad but not as bad as if you hurt someone you love. Trust me, I speak from experience." He looks serious, that's for sure. His face turning dark.
I sigh. I'm glad I got the answers I needed, but it's still a lot to take in. " How can I get used to being away from Cam," I ask. If that's the first step, then maybe he will stop worrying about me so much.
" That's easy. I'll give you these supplements, take them every day. When they're in your system, if you're away from your mate, it'll suppress the urges. Your body shouldn't burn up like it had been earlier, and no panic attacks. They're kind of like a crutch. Over time, your body will naturally get used to it, but these will help you until then."
Was it really that easy? Take a pill and I'll be fine? It seemed too good to be true, but I know Lawrence wasn't the kind to lie. I could feel it. "Okay, thank you. And please don't tell Cam about this. He's worried about me enough as is.
Lawrence nods. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me."
That night, when Lawrence leaves after taking to Cam for a long time, Cam and I sit on the couch together, the TV on but neither of us really watching it. He's lost in thought again, thinking about who knows what. I'm lost in my own thoughts though, thinking about ways to strengthen my physical body now that the Cactus is helping me with some of the other things.
When Cam is gone, I could possibly go running, or start doing basic stuff around the house. As I'm thinking about different things, Cam pulls himself out of his thoughts and wraps an arm around me.
" Are you feeling okay, my love? You seem out of it." As it always seems to be lately, his face is filled with concern.
I can't lie to him, but I don't have to tell him the full truth either. " I'm just thinking about earlier. I was wondering if there's anything I can do to help fortify my body so it doesn't happen again."
It takes Cam a moment to process my words. " My love, you're perfect the way you are, you don't need to change."
Oh Cam, if only that were true. " Hun, listen to me. I know you have things to do that can't be done here. Eventually you're going to have to go back to your job regularly. I need to be able to handle myself. I mean, I can't even leave the house. I'm going stir crazy here!"
Cam is quiet for a long time. When he speaks again, he says, " Let's go on that date I promised you. Tomorrow night. Will that help you feel better about things?"
A date, just me and him? Actually out in public too. " That sounds good. Do you have anything in mind though?"
A smile creeps across his face. "Just dress nice, you'll see what I've got planned."
It's my turn to smile. Cam hasn't seen me dressed up yet. I doubt he'll be able to keep his hands off. I'm excited for it, a chance to go out and interact with people again. Sit down in a loud, crowded restaurant, walk through droves of people you don't know, even having someone say something stupid. I used to hate it all, but having gone without it for so long, I actually miss it.
We get up and head to bed, not bothering with the fun exercise we usually partake in. I simply have my nightly drink of his sweet blood and we go to sleep, entangled in one another. I'm happy to have it this way, too. I don't need a bond to force me to reproduce. I enjoy just being with Cam, not simply just having sex with him. If anything, that's just icing on the cake. Not necessary for it to be delicious, but it's always an added bonus.