ISABELLE.
I wish I didn't have to use it, I wish I didn't have to lie but it hurts too much to have him treat me this way when I like him this much. The only thing that keeps me sane is the fact that even Giselle could not seduce him without this same lie. In my past life, Xavier knew Sabine when they were just kids. They lived in some horrible neighborhood apparently and even though they were both poor she had it better. She save his life once when he was getting beat up for stealing, by paying for the food for him. That was the first time someone had been kind to him without wanting something in return. He followed her around for a bit before she eventually moved out of the neighborhood. There were three things he used to remember her by, small Minnie mouse scrunchies with a ripped ear, her gentle skips of joy, and finally her snotty crying. That woman is the only woman that Xavier has ever loved and will ever love.
He has shut his heart to everyone else but that woman. And even though I will be deceiving him again just like that awful woman, it is not as if I will use and dump him the way she did. I do actually love him and I know no one else will ever love him as much as I do. So I will become this woman, to him.
"How was the movie yesterday, did being with his help?" Jessie my best friend asked as we walked out of our final laboratory for the day.
"Um… not really, but I'm meeting him for coffee in" I pause and look at my wristwatch "-in the next seven minutes. Got to go, save a seat for me in the library okay?"
"Sure, give me the deets okay? You know I live through you!" She yelled after me, as I ran for the cafe just outside the campus building.
Step one, pulling my hair free I smile softly and begin to skip. Making sure to look effortless as I do so. And due to my effortlessness, I can't tell if he is looking at me or not, I just hope this works, skipping like this is really embarrassing.
"What are you doing?" His deep voice warms me up and ignoring his question I squeal and sit.
"I got an A in my biochemistry paper!" I squeal happily, "is something wrong?" I ask when I notice the blank expression on his face as he looks at me.
He blinks at first and avoids my eyes, clearing his throat he leans back and folds his arms, "why did you ask me out for coffee? You said you had something important to tell me."
I laugh softly, "did you really believe that? I'm sorry, I thought you would know it was a lie."
"What? You're joking right?" He almost growled, "I am a very busy person do you know that?"
"Why are you overreacting?" I dismiss him, "I mean it's not as if you don't already know I like you so why are you acting so surprised that I lied to you to get you to meet with me? You are more naive than I thought." I say bluntly, but the annoyance on his face becomes increasingly prominent.
He gets up immediately, pushing back his seat to walk away but as he walks past him I grab his arm and we lock gazes. For some reason, this feels wrong? Weak? Diluted? I can't place it but looking into his eyes just doesn't feel as right as I did look into- nope, nope! I am not even going there, it was intense because I hate him, this must be how it feels to look into the eyes of someone you do not despise.
"You are already here aren't you? At least get a cup of coffee out of it, my treat" I say. "Please…" letting go of his arm I go for the second step, pulling out a worn-out ribbon with a ripped Minnie ear.
The moment he sees it he grabs my arm almost violently, "what the hell are you doing?" My turn to ask.
"How do you have this?" He asks.
Blinking I look down at the ribbon, "um… I always have, let go it's hot and my hair is bothering me." I say slowly, pulling my hands free of his grip. Now it's time for a personal charm, the hair tie.
Angling my neck seductively, I place the scrunchie in between my wet lips. And weave my slender finger into the locks of brown wavy hair, pulling it up and skillfully wrapping it around. Then I pick the ribbon from my lips… slowly and wrap it into my hair. At the end of the day, he is a man behind all that arrogance, I am not entirely confident but I know I am not ugly.
"What are you ordering?" The barrister walks over to our table with a notepad in her arms.
I wave dismissively at Xavier and he wordlessly understands that he should order for me as well. By the time I am done I smile at him sheepishly. Struggling to hide the cackle bubbling at the bottom of my throat, since when did I get this confident? I would never do this in my past life, Ever.
Time flies as we drink our coffee, our conversation was pretty controlled but this is the most I've spoken to Xavier. He was curious as well, asking me questions about how I was. I know this love, this sudden bout of affection wasn't directed at me, it was all for the woman that saved his life. It's the biggest regret of my life.
After a short moment of silence, I lean forward and glance into my empty coffee cup. "I guess that's it then, thanks for staying," I say as I stand.
Looking away he mumbled something incoherently, I can hear what he is saying. "… I'll walk you to campus if you still have class."
"Huh?"