I am currently fixing myself for lunch with Mark. I don't know what to do. What am I supposed to say? I'm lost for words because I'm not interested in him. Maybe I'll learn to love him someday. I'll be able to replace whoever was in my heart at the moment. Come on, Sapphire. You just knew him for two weeks! You should get over him fast!
"Your ride is ready, Miss Sapphire." A maid said.
"Thanks, I'll be down in a moment."
I arrived at the restaurant Mark told me to go to but he seems to not be around yet.
"Anything to help you with, Ma'am?" a waiter asked.
"Just water will be fine," I said. I played with my wristwatch trying to distract myself from the noise outside. I can't seem to control my talent since last night. I breathed deeply—the way ladies should breathe. I fixed my hair once again just in case and checked myself using the reflection from my phone. After a little while, Mark arrived.
"Hi," Mark sat down in front of me. "I'm sorry I'm late." He excused himself.
"No worries, I'm just used to being on time." I got used to it somehow.
"Shall we take an order? A salad perhaps?" he examined the menu.
"Yes," Eww.
"Okay. Waiter," he called.
"Yes, sir?"
"Two bowls of salads please."
"Right away, sir."
"Salad, too?" I wondered.
"I'm on a diet." He reasoned.
"I see." I nodded.
We talked for a little while about the things we love to do and the people we've been with. After a few talks and a couple of topics, I am able to confirm it. He's definitely gay. He's trying to hide it but from looking at the way he moves, his stories...Goodness, he's like Ven. I miss Ven so much. I miss Jo. I miss…I miss everything.
"I can't believe you haven't dated anyone yet," he seemed amused. "Yes, I know. No one is ever interested," I played with the rim of the glass of wine.
"I'm in luck then. They got some bad luck, they lost you," he seems so pleased with himself.
"I guess so," I played with it.
Not long enough our salads came. "Thank you," I said to the waiter. I started playing with the green leaf on my plate, not sure how to chew on this while not looking like a goat.
"Not hungry?" he asked. He caught my attention,
"I am. It's just that…I'm still trying to cope up with everything."
"You don't have to adjust as much. I'll accept you for whoever you are," he smiled. I fake a smile at him. "We are going to be with each other forever so I guess compromising should be one of the steps," he chewed his tomato.
"You're right." He's right. I should accept that this is the end of the line. My life ended years ago and years ago. Well, I never had the maneuvers to control it in the first place. Someone else has it and they're controlling things for me.
After that day, we had a few more lunches. We even had a date in a museum that just opened and since he's one of the sponsors, he was invited. We also went to other places like their farm, their company and more. It's been two months and I'm dying for everything to end.
The lunch today ended softly, we had a walk at the park even though my feet are hurting from the heels. I try to force a smile.
"Do you want to rest? I'm guessing that those shoes aren't really that comfortable," he looked at them in disgust.
"Yes, it's really not that comfortable to walk with but it makes me look like a lady," I looked at them too,
"There's a bench over there. Shall we?" he hovered his hand towards the bench.
"I guess I do need some rest," I followed him. "It's nice like this, right?" he asked.
"Hmmm?"
"I would like to make you comfortable with me. I want to give you anything that you want, make you happy, and have a family with you," he kneeled down in front of me while I'm still sitting. What is he doing now? "We're engaged already. There has been no actual celebration for it yet but," he pulled something from his back pocket. "I know this is too soon. We just like two months ago but," knowing what he was about to do, I breathed deeply—I think I even lost my poise. Girls that get too proposed to get nervous and then excited me? I'm nervous and want to die.
He opened the box in front of me showing a beautifully carved sapphire stone placed on a silver ring. I feel tears from my eyes that are about to fall. It's too painful to see. I looked upward pushing back the tears behind. I couldn't breathe until he asked me the words that I'm not ready to hear and don't want to hear, "Sapphire Valoria, will you marry me?"
I wished someone else would have asked me that question. But I can't think of him right now. I pushed away the thought from my mind and swallowed the final strength I have to look at him. I can't say no anyway so why bother making this guy in front of me wait for too long.
With regrets, "Yes." I forced a smile.
He breathed deeply as a relief, "I thought you wouldn't say yes. I know we were just two months ago but we got our whole lives ahead of us to figure things out," he took the ring from the box and placed it on my right hand. The ring fits perfectly on my hand but is too cold for me to feel overwhelmed.
"Should we…" I didn't hear what Mark said. I don't want to hear any of his words now. Suddenly, I feel emptier than I already was.
"Sapphire?" he called. Then everything went black.