Having been in the seat of a well-respected exorcist, I believe I am a quick-witted person. I mean, take it this way, I've written a lot of battle plans in the middle of the fight before. I came up with the most effective one while dodging fangs and claws, dark magic and curses. Honestly, I don't need five minutes. I could come up with the most effective plan to deal with this situation.
What I thought.
But my brain electrical activity is disturbed by...
This:
Nelia is humming a Naintendo mix playlist you can find on Utube. As if to make it more noisy, she is tapping her fingers at each other.
In a video, I would mute her.
But sadly, there's not a convenient function to do that. Except if I tell her to shut up, making me look like a jerk,
...
Yup, she's distracting me from coming up with a plan.
Even Remelia who's proud of her vampire ears all this time, has to cover them up. She had enough. "Can you stop that?"
Nelia smiles wryly, "I--I'm sorry Miss President, but doing it this way makes me feel calmer to think."
But not us.
Ayane chimes in, "You wouldn't be nervous in the first place if only you did nothing wrong."
"Eep…." She looks around and, "hmhmmhmmhmhmhm… hm…" Starts humming again.
Remelia groans, "Stop that."
"B--but!"
Remelia sighs, "No worries. Just for this once, as a responsible leader, I'll hum for you. You are very terrible, stop, and let me show you how."
Nelia gasps, tears starting to well up in her eyes. "Really? You'll do that for me."
"I just can't stand your humming that's all. If I am going to make a torture room, you'll be the first one I'll assign there."
"Hehe, thanks."
She took it as a compliment. You had to be impressed by Nelia's way of taking insults. They are like photosynthesis.
Ayane begins her plead, "Anyway, can you do the Legendary Xelda one? Can you hum any music from that game?"
Remelia is silent for a while. "No. You have the soul to be picky with me. And I don't even know what that is."
"Heee? Then what song are you going to hum?"
"Something out of the Human's weird rectangle meta-box with a clear window plate, that is holding both music and many humans' voices inside."
...
Ayane and Nelia give me a look.
And I explain it to them, "She meant my phone."
"Ehem," Remelia coughs on her small fist, "let's see… It goes like this…. Dedededumdedumdedum…" Remelia then proceeds humming my SumSang ringtone.
Ayane, "Isn't this Over The Hori--"
"Sshh," With her eyes closed, Nelia smiles. "Yeah, this is fine."
"The fuck…"
"Dedededumdedumdedum…"
This is not fine at all. These weird exchanges between them plus the humming now have literally stopped my brain from working.
It turns out, I do need more than five minutes.
These three girls are a lot more troublesome than the hell creatures. Ironically speaking.
"Dudededumdedum…"
"..."
"..."
"One minute left!" Remelia roars.
The sudden shout jumpscares Nelia... alone. Fortunely, Ayane and I had faced many ambushes from the hell creatures. This wouldn't catch us off guard. Why am I even comparing those two situations? It's evident enough that I've lost a bit of my brain cells already.
The red glowing eyes look at me, "After this minute, I'll take it as you are incompetent at handling this situation. I'm counting. Fifty nine, fifty eight, fifty seven…"
This countdown is going to mess someone up in this room.
There she is. Nelia, holding her head with both of her hands. Her forehead cries. "Oh no, this is bad. All of my plans got scared and escaped from my brain. I--I can't think of a plan anymore."
Nelia is actually expressing what I should be now.
All right.
"Ten. Nine!"
I sigh.
Remelia totally broke the purpose of this five minutes of silence by being herself.
Plus, I don't get to make a plan. I'm so screwed. I feel like a student who ran out of time answering the exam paper.
"Five. Four, Three. Two. One. TENG. TENG. TENG!" Remlai hits an invisble gong.
"WAAA..." Nelia drops her head on the table, "In the end, I don't get to make a plan. I'm so screwed."
"Five minutes are up!" Remelia claps her hand. She turns to me, "What are you going to do about this. Will you try to fight the fate the world entrusts to you once again? Or will you submit to it?"
'Submit to me already.'
"I--"
Nelia kneels down. She looks up at Ayane. "I submit to fate! Please make it quick! I'm guilty of theft!"
It seems like Remelia's speech hits someone else too.
Ayane got weirded out and pulled her legs up from the floor and put them on the couch. "The fuck are you doing?"
Nelia's eyes become teary, "isn't this what you want? Revenge?"
"I… I just want you to confess of your wrongdoings, man."
"I'm not a man, I'm a woman!"
"All right, chill."
Nelia sobs, "And, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry all right. I know it's the most valuable thing in the whole world but I just can't contain myself."
All right, are they even still talking about my jacket? Isn't that what started the drama between these two?
Nelia wipes her nose with her hand. "I am very sorry."
Ayane shakes her head worriedly, "It's all right, now I look back at the situation, you seem to have returned the jacket back to Sensei," she glances at my jacket. "No thief would do that. I'm sorry for being rough to you too." Ayane gulps her words.
It wasn't common for Ayane to be this soft to other people other than me. And to think this is happening so suddenly in this place…
Ayane pulls out a tissue from her skirt pocket and hands it to Nelia.
Nelia takes the tissue and uses it heartily. The tissue can't be called a tissue anymore now. "Sob, sob, but it's never about the jacket right? I've never stolen that."
…
Ayane frowns, "No? So what do you think you've stolen?"
"Sob, Sob."
Nelia holds up her hand, pulls out her pointy finger… at me.
"I've stolen Sensei's heart."
"..."
"..."
Ayane makes the most apathetic face she ever made. "And here I thought you were too good to be murdered by me."
Nelia springs up from the floor, "Eeep!" She turns to me, "But you said you wouldn't if I confess!"
"You're right. Now, I just might kill you."
"Se--Sensei, she--she's going to kill me! Even though I've confessed! She has no reason to!"
I sigh, "All right no one is going to kill anyone here."
Ayane nods, "You're right. Someone just might kill anyone here."
"Se--Sensei!"
"Stop hiding behind Sensei all the time!"
This time Ayane moves. It's just a small change of posture.
But Nelia takes it as a threat. She reacts fast like a cat. She blocks with both of her arms from… Ayane's glare.
"You don't want to do this!" Nelia shouts, "I know TawKae-something dow."
"That doesn't scare me at all."
"I also know KAMEHAMEHA!."
"And now you're just being weird."
Remelia has been staring at me this whole time. "Give up already? Just leave this to your queen."