The next morning, when I woke up, I heard a storm coming.
Beside me, Lan Bei Er went still, her face pale. Like me, she had only just woken up, but she was jolted to full wakefulness by the noise outside. She sat up, almost trembling.
"She's here!"
"Huh? What?" I stared at her groggily, still half asleep. Lan Bei Er swallowed, clenching her hands so tightly then the blood drained from her fingers.
"My master. She's here."
The both of us changed to more appropriate clothing and left the room. Above, thunderclouds stirred and rain threatened to fall. But what descended wasn't moisture but a single person, also dressed in white and blue robes. What a grand entrance…but I could sense that she wasn't as powerful as she tried to make herself to be.
Hell, I could beat her in combat. Then again, if Lan Bei Er's role was anything to go by, her master should be a priestess like her. Defeating her in combat wasn't anything to be proud of.
"Master," Lan Bei Er greeted. Her master was a fairly beautiful woman with long brown hair and a somewhat wrinkled face that revealed her advanced age. She looked like a middle-aged lady, but I bet she was older than that. She also exuded an impressive amount of qi.
"Bei Er!" She growled, the air shaking from her voice. "How dare you?!"
"How dare she what?" I asked, stepping in front of my wife to shield her from her master. I met Yao Guai's gaze evenly, refusing to be intimidated.
"Get lost, trash!" She snarled. "This doesn't involve you."
"Um, she's my wife, so of course this involves me."
"I don't acknowledge your marriage!" Yao Guai shrieked. She turned on Bei Er. "Why did you marry some trash behind my back? Just to get out of marriage with Jian Shen? He's so much better than this trash, why did you ruin your future? Thanks to you, our relationship to the Ten Thousand Sword Pavilion might be in jeopardy!"
"Before I am a disciple of the White Herb Sect, I am the daughter of the Lan family. I am not a political tool for you to use at your own convenience and cement alliances. I joined the sect to find a way to save my father, but none of you could help. Even you, Master, wasn't able to provide the Red Python's blood needed for the Dragon Fire Pill. But my husband came back with the blood of a Red Python and helped save my father's life. Is it not appropriate that I marry my benefactor as repayment?"
"This trash can't possibly obtain the Red Python's blood!" Yao Guai howled. I frowned. Why the fuck did every single person I met insist on calling me trash? Like, what was with their obsession with calling other people trash? They didn't even know who the hell I was, why did they keep jumping into assumptions? This made no fucking sense.
"My husband is not trash."
"Why do you call me trash anyway?" I agreed, annoyed. "You don't even know me."
"You're trash because I say so!" She stormed. Both Lan Bei Er and I rolled our eyes and exchanged a look. Yao Guai bristled. "You're just a Foundation Establishment stage cultivator! Look at you, you can't even produce a decent amount of qi! I heard that you're from the destroyed Black Shadow Sect. You don't even have any backing or background! Not from any proper sect or prestigious family! Who are you to compete against Sir Jian Shen?"
"Wait, what makes you think I'm Foundation Establishment stage?" Just because I decided not to show off my qi or whatever, everyone started assuming that I was a cat instead of a tiger. This was getting ridiculous.
"Master, I can guarantee you that my husband is not just at the Foundation Establishment stage. He's probably stronger than you."
"Shut up and stop lying!" Yao Guai thundered. "Who do you think taught you the healing techniques you used to delay your father's inevitable death? Where do you think the alchemist you hired to refine the Fire Dragon Pill came from? The White Herb Sect! You owe us everything!"
"Inevitable death? I'm still alive, you know?"
Father-in-law stepped out, crossing his arms.
"Even if you're my daughter's master, you have no right to kick a ruckus in my home. If you continue to make a fuss, I'll have you leave."
"Master Lan…!"
As expected, even Yao Guai had to give him face in his territory. She bristled and pointed at me.
"Are you really sure you want a trash like this for your son-in-law? You'll definitely regret it!"
"The only thing I regret is being injured and causing trouble for my daughter…to the extent that she felt compelled to join your White Herb Sect. And stop calling my son-in-law trash, you blind fool. If he's trash, what are you?"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Exactly what I said," father-in-law replied with a snort. "You're weaker than him. This is the guy who defeated a Red Python on his own. A spirit beast that even you hesitate to hunt. He has a lot more courage than you…and unlike you, he actually delivered results. He's the reason why I'm alive and healthy right now."
"Jian Shen is right, he's lying! It's impossible for weak, useless trash like him to be able to defeat the Red Python and get its blood! Can't you see that you're being deceived?!"
Wow, she was utterly deluded. She actually bought all the fake news that Jian Shen provided and refused to accept reality.
"How am I supposed to prove that I'm not trash?" I asked with a sigh. "You want to follow me to the Crimson Forest and watch me fight a Red Python?"
"No need for that, I'll expose the fraud that you are right now!" Yao Guai sneered and lunged at me. "You won't even be able to withstand a single blow from me!"
White spiritual qi ignited around her hands, taking the form of a holy fire. She thrust that devastating palm toward me, intent on incinerating me. I could sense the killing intent. This so-called orthodox cultivator from a sect renowned for its healing techniques was actually trying to murder me.
Seriously? What the fuck was going on? This made no sense whatsoever.
Fortunately, before her hand could reach me, I slapped her so hard that her entire body tumbled over and did a cartwheel. Yao Guai yelped before she crashed facedown into the ground. Her flames scoured the stone, leaving a black mark.
"…okay…?" I muttered.
Spitting out dirt from her mouth and spluttering in indignation, Yao Guai lunged at me once more, her hands exploding with white qi. Again, I slapped her before she could reach me, sending her cartwheeling to the side.
"How dare you hit me?!" She shrieked, spitting out more dirt again as she rose to her feet, clutching both sides of her face. She was immediately using her healing techniques to lessen the swelling on her face.
"You were the one who attacked me first!" I yelled back, exasperated by her manhua logic. So she could attack me, but I wasn't allowed to fight back? Who came up with this bullshit reasoning?
"Are you convinced now?" Father-in-law asked, amused. "Clearly his strength is above yours."
"Bah!" Yao Guai spat. "What's there to be proud of, being stronger than a priestess like me? Of course my combat ability is low. It's no big deal for him to defeat a non-warrior like me!"
I threw my hands up in the air, unable to suppress the frustration. Was there something wrong with her head? She was just twisting her words now, backtracking when it turned out that she couldn't use her earlier argument to her advantage. No matter what I did, she was going to delude herself into believing that I was trash.
Standing up, Yao Guai advanced upon Lan Bei Er, pointing furiously at me.
"Divorce him right now! I want you to divorce that trash right now!"
Wow. Normally it was the mother-in-law who screamed at her daughter to divorce the protagonist in the son-in-law stories. This was the first time that it wasn't the mother-in-law demanding that her daughter divorce her husband. I never thought it would be my wife's master fulfilling the role this time. Thankfully, my mother-in-law approved of the marriage and was even fond of me.
Still, we needed someone to carry out the "divorce him now!" role, I guess.
"Who are you to decide who my daughter should or should not marry?" Father-in-law growled. "I have been tolerating you because you're my daughter's master, but if you continue in this shameful conduct, then I'll kick you out of my premises."
"Stop defending this useless loser, you blind man!"
"Why do you keep calling my husband trash and a useless loser?!" Lan Bei Er screamed back. I was startled. This was the first time I had seen my wife lose control of her emotions. "He already proved that he's stronger than you! What more do you want? Another slap to your face?"
Oh, right. Because face slapping was a thing in Chinese web novels.
"So what if he's strong or was an ex-soldier? He's just a parasite who leeches off his wife, a jobless loser who stays at home all day doing nothing but housework! He's a no-name loser without any family background or backing! No financial wealth whatsoever!"
"Ex-soldier? Jobless? Stay at home all day doing nothing but housework?" I echoed. "Where the hell did you get that from?"
"What are you even talking about now?!" Lan Bei Er demanded, holding her head. "Since when is Hei Ye jobless? He doesn't even stay at home all that much! He just went on two expeditions! Also, he could even afford to buy me this!"
She showed her Sea Gemstone pendant to her master, whose eyes bulged in disbelief.
"That's impossible! How did he get his hands on such a treasure? Hah! He must have stolen it!"
"By your logic, if he has the ability to steal such a valuable treasure, that means he's not a trash or useless loser." Father-in-law was burying his face in his palm.
"I think she has been reading too many son-in-law stories and mixed me up with the protagonists there," I muttered.
"Shut up!" Yao Guai yelled at me. "This is your fault! If it weren't for you, the marriage alliance between the White Herb Sect and Ten Thousand Sword Pavilion wouldn't be ruined! You spoiled our plans! I'll kill you!"
Her hands exploding into white flames, she charged at me again, only to receive another slap that sent her hurtling across the courtyard.
"Guards!" Father-in-law finally had enough. "Send our guest off! And make sure she can't get back in!"
"Yes, milord!"
The Lan family staff grabbed hold of Yao Guai before she could begin healing her swollen cheek, hauling her to her feet and dragging her to the gates. Then they kicked her in the rump and sent her sprawling outside before closing and locking the gates to her.
She could fly over, of course – that was how she came in the first place – but the next time she attempted that, she would find herself at spear point from over a dozen of the Lan family's personal guard.
That didn't deter Yao Guai, though. Confident that she could beat them, and then still have enough energy to murder me, she leaped into the air, conjuring a cloud to stand upon for the short moment she needed to float back into the Lan Manor.
She didn't get that far.
"Argh!?"
A pink surge of qi lanced through her cloud and disintegrated it, causing her to plummet back to earth. Landing on her rear with a loud thump, she cursed and looked up, raising her fist in anger.
"Who was that!? How dare you…?!"
"I'll return those words to you," Hong Yao Yao replied coldly, standing on top of the gates and folding her arms. "Who do you think you are, to dare trespass upon the Lan family's property?"
"Hong Yao Yao…" Yao Guai began trembling violently, her face pale from fright. "Why are you here?"
"I'm the specially appointed instructor of the Lan family," Hong Yao Yao replied. She then smiled and beckoned the old lady over with her slender fingers. "Come on…go ahead and try to break into the Lan Manor again. You know you want to."
Cold perspiration poured down Yao Guai's face as she sensed the sheer bloodlust and intense killing aura from the pink haired cultivator. Trembling, she turned around and ran, attracting amused stares from the passers-by outside the estate.
"Coward," Hong Yao Yao taunted with a shake of her head. "And you have the audacity to call other people trash and useless loser. You really should take a look in the mirror sometime."
However, Yao Guai was not done. Even as she fled, she clenched her fists and hissed venomously under her breath.
"You'll regret this! All of you! You'll pay for this humiliation!"
And then she was gone, flying off on the same cloud she conjured earlier to bring her here.