"I'm so sorry about my master." Lan Bei Er bowed, but I shook my head and waved my hand dismissively.
"You have nothing to apologize for. It's not your fault."
"I don't understand her logic," father-in-law said, shaking his head in disbelief. "She assumes that you're trash just because…why, exactly? Because that scumbag Jian Shen said so? Even though there's so much evidence to the contrary?"
"Some people only believe what they want to believe." I shrugged, not caring about it. Besides, Jian Shen, Bai Ning Shuang and the rest had firsthand witnessed me making a fool out of myself when I failed to kill the feral wolves and Cyclops back in Verdant Forest. On the other hand, they had not seen me slay a Red Python, Infernal Sabretooth or winged wyverns. They had no reason to believe that I had the ability.
After all, the gap between what they saw and the feats I had accomplished since was far too short. A little more than a week, maybe? Who the hell would grow that strong so quickly? So admittedly it was reasonable that they didn't believe what they were hearing. They had seen firsthand my supposed incompetence, after all.
That was fun. This gave me the opportunity to play a pig so that I could eat a tiger. So for now I would put up with this trash nonsense. It might play into the cliché so-in-law bullshit, but I could use it to my advantage now that I could more or less predict how everyone was going to behave.
"All right, I'm going now." I turned to father-in-law. "The recruitment process for the major sects is today, right? I won't waste any time. Thank you for the recommendations."
"No problem. Good luck!" Father-in-law patted me in the back. "And make us proud!"
"I will."
"I'll have to go help out with the White Herb Sect," Lan Bei Er said with a sigh. She raised her head determinedly. "When I return, I'll talk to Master and convince her to stop insulting you."
"Honestly, I doubt you'll be able to persuade her," I said dryly.
"Well, for now I'll accompany you. Let's go, husband." She tugged my hand. I sighed and nodded.
And so we went off. Azure Cloud City was bustling especially busily today, with the major sects shouting and advertising the recruitment processes. Many prospective disciples were lining up here and there, flocking toward whatever sects they wanted to join. The seven major sects had set up exhibition venues in the city square, spread out throughout several square miles of city blocks, and even constructed temporary shrines and temples to house administrators and elders who were supervising the recruitment.
The first one we passed by was the recruitment shrine for the Ten Thousand Sword Pavilion. Over a hundred people had gathered and were trying to climb up the stars to the shrine. Passing through the torii gate, they collapsed under tremendous spiritual qi pressure, their bodies unable to take the weight. Using my qi perception, I noticed the spirit array crafted into the entrance. It was the kind that increased gravity or something like that, forcing examinees to form a defensive aura of qi to resist the immense pressure wrought upon their physiques.
Only those with a certain level of cultivation would be able to make it all the way to the shrine, where a second and final test took place. They were supposed to place their hand on a gigantic glowing gemstone, which would identify their talent and cultivation realm, or something like that. I wasn't sure of the details.
"Hah! I knew he would come!"
At the top of the shrine, Jian Shen stood haughtily. He had remembered father-in-law mentioning that he would recommend me to the major sects, and he returned to make preparations. Evidently he had no intention of allowing me to successfully join the Ten Thousand Swords Pavilion.
"Master, he's the one!" He told one of the elders, an old man with long white hair and the usual villainous mustache that made him look more like a villain than me. The kind of elder with an arrogant expression that you usually see in manhua like Banished Disciple's Counterattack/Immortal Martial Emperor or One Sword Reigns Supreme. Or whatever. I'm pretty sure you've all read enough manhua or web novels by now to be able to picture him.
The elder, Mu Chen, watched me from the shrine, his expression condescending as he stroked his long beard. Jian Shen continued to egg him.
"He'll definitely come and try to join the Ten Thousand Sword Pavilion. We can't let that happen!"
"So you want me to stop him from participating in the sect trial?" Mu Chen asked. His disciple shook his head.
"No, not just that! That will be too simple! We can't just stop him from participating in the entrance examination. We need to expose his true colors as TRASH and then humiliate him in front of everyone! Only then will Junior Lan Bei Er realize the truth! She'll divorce him and marry me instead!"
How did he even come to that conclusion…? Even if she somehow chose to divorce me, why would that automatically equate to her flying into his arms and marrying him? somehow his flawed logic reminded me of female villains in a CEO story, the kind who plotted to tear the female lead away from the CEO male lead, believing that as long as the main couple divorced, the CEO would dive into their embrace and marry them instead.
Deluded.
"So what exactly do you want me to do?"
"Let him take the trial and show everyone how he fails spectacularly. Then single him out to expose the lying fraud that he is and humiliate him in front of everyone!"
Mu Chen stared at his disciple, as if trying to absorb what the hell the deluded lunatic was saying. "Why the hell do we have to go through all that trouble? Just fail him and be done with it. Why bother with these inane and overly convoluted schemes?"
"Because it's not enough to fail him or ban him from taking the trial! He must be humiliated, or my desire for vengeance will never be satisfied!"
Mu Chen buried his face in his palm. "Just how petty can you get?"
Even from this distance, I could hear Jian Shen's words. It was all thanks to Heaven and Earth Formula sharpening my senses and perception to the extreme. On the other hand, Lan Bei Er tugged on my hand.
"The Ten Thousand Sword Pavilion is holding their recruitment session here. Why don't you try it out first?"
"I don't want to," I replied with a shake of my head. "Jian Shen is in the Ten Thousand Sword Pavilion, remember? He'll no doubt use his connections to find trouble for me. Probably get the elders to deliberately fail me from the start. I'll have better luck trying out the other sects."
"That's fair. Let's go then."
The both of us walked past the entrance to the Ten Thousand Sword Pavilion recruiting shrine. When we did so, Jian Shen's jaw dropped. He quickly jumped down the stairs, hurtling to the bottom within a few seconds and skidding to a stop in front of us.
"Where do you think you're going?!"
"To the Elemental Mountain Sect's recruiting venue," I replied honestly. "I have a friend there."
I doubted Chi Yan would be present during his sect's recruiting process – the guy always struck me as a loner. But I was still going there to say hi anyway. At the very least learning one of the five elemental esoteric arts appealed to me.
"Why aren't you taking the trial for the Ten Thousand Sword Pavilion?!"
"Why should I?" I gave him a strange stare. "Do you want me to?"
"Yes…" Jian Shen's eyes bulged and he began spluttering. "I mean, since you're already here, you might as well give it a shot!"
Above, Mu Chen slapped his forehead in exasperation. "Dude, if your goal is to expose his fraudulent behavior and humiliate him, wouldn't it be the same if he goes to some other sect and fail their trials there?"
"It's not the same! We're here to catch him cheating! They won't be on guard against him and they won't watch out for him cheating!"
"Why are you assuming that I'll cheat?" I asked, annoyed. "And that makes no sense. If you believe that I'll cheat, then why the hell would you want me to participate in the recruitment trial for your sect?"
"So that I can catch you cheating and expose what a trash you are to everyone in the Tian Xuan Continent!"
Manhua antagonist logic at its very finest, ladies and gentlemen. No problem also want to find problem. Haiz.
"Why are we wasting our time talking to this raving lunatic?" Lan Bei Er asked, crossed. She grabbed my hand and pulled me away. "Let's go."
"Sure, whatever you say, wife."
"What? You're really leaving?!" Jian Shen yelled, panicking and waving his hands frantically. "You can't! What about the trial?!"
"I got no reason to take the trial. It's not like Ten Thousand Sword Pavilion is the only major sect anyway. There's simply no benefits for me to join your sect. On the other hand, if I join your sect, I'll have to put up with people like you and deal with never ending trouble."
"H…how about this? You want to make a bet with me?" Jian Shen jabbed a finger at me. "If you take the trial and fail, then you must divorce Junior Bei Er immediately! But if you pass, then I'll kowtow to you and call you grandfather!"
"WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WANT YOU TO KOWTOW TO ME AND CALL ME GRANDFATHER?! WHAT USE IS THAT?!" I threw my hands up in exasperation. "Also, what sane guy would gamble his marriage on something as dumb as this?"
"Are you a coward? You don't dare to take the trial? Is that it?!"
"Yeah, I'm a coward, I don't dare to take your trial. I'm not worthy of it, I don't have the qualifications." I waved my hand dismissively and continued to leave, with Lan Bei Er at my side. Jian Shen grew even more desperate.
"W…wait! I'll give you this Ghost Iron Ore if you pass the trial!"
Oh? Wasn't that the stuff he bought from the auction in Silver River Pavilion? I wasn't interested in it, though.
"Dude, no amount of Ghost Iron Ore is going to convince me to stake my marriage on a bet. In fact, my marriage is not something to gamble away."
"Fine, you don't have to divorce her if you fail!" He turned away and whispered insidiously to himself. "She'll divorce you herself after I expose your true colors!"
Dude, I can hear you…
"But I'll give you this Ghost Iron Ore if you pass! Deal?"
"Okay, deal. I'll hold you to it." I finally relented. Getting Ghost Iron Ore for free sounded like a good deal, to be honest.
"Heh." Jian Shen smirked. "You'll definitely fail anyway. I don't have to worry about giving away my Ghost Iron Ore."
Did the guy really not realize that he was voicing his sinister thoughts out loud? Well, whatever. I shook my head and went toward the torii gate. Passing by a couple of panting cultivators who were unable to withstand the spiritual pressure from the array carved into the stairs, I waved at Lan Bei Er.
"My wife, I'll go up and take the trial first. I should be done in a few minutes…I hope."
"Okay, husband. Take care."
"STOP FLIRTING IN FRONT OF ME!" Jian Shen roared, but I ignored him, already stepping through the red archway and onto the stairs. The array burst to life, arcane symbols and runes glowing around me. Immediately, I felt a tremendous weight crash upon my body.
Unfortunately for the array, such a pressure had no effect on my Heaven and Earth Formula.
Kicking off the bottom step, I sprinted up the stairs and reached the shrine at the top of the hill within thirty seconds. Stopping in front of an astonished Mu Chen, I bowed politely.
"So can I take the next test now?"