Until now I had my eyes cast down, but when I ran headfirst into something solid, I raised my eyes to see what it was, cursing under my breath at whatever was blocking my way when I desperately needed to get away to get some fresh air to clear my head. But when my eyes came into contact with the person in front of me, I lost my cool, or at least what was left of my cool.
"Holy shit!" I blurted out and clapped a hand over my mouth for running my mouth without thinking.
Calvin smirked at my reaction. He looked dashing in a suit, even somewhat gentlemanly, which was so much different from the usual look he had. 'Never in a million years would he become a gentleman like Fabien,' I thought. 'Oh, how my mind never fails to surprise me. I should be thinking of avoiding him, not about who's more gentlemanly.' With that, I tried to sidestep him and run away. I did not need any more drama in my life. Almost kissing one suitor and then getting bullied by another would not be the best way to end a day.
"Going somewhere, princess?" Calvin scoffed, making me halt in my tracks.
'Back to calling me princess again then,' I sighed, thinking.
"What do you want now?" I asked as calmly as I could manage, but my voice carried a hint of annoyance. I was still confused about the reason behind Calvin's interest in becoming a suitor and it would be awkward to be in the presence of him after all these confusions. 'God knows what he has in plan for me.'
"Why were you blushing earlier? You looked as if you've just made out or something." Clavin asked out of the blue, in a mocking tone.
The images of Fabien's lips so close to mine flashed in my mind and I turned a deeper shade of red.
"Oh, so, am I right?" Calvin looked amused for some reason.
I knew where this was going to lead and I desperately tried to stop my mind from wandering to the incident from earlier, so I could stop blushing. I was worried if my eyes gave off the wildness I felt inside.
My silence made Calvin peer at my face and under his intense, penetrating gaze I felt as if my little secret was getting exposed. My instincts made me look away, stepping back from him. But he was quick and managed to grab my wrist harshly and pull me towards him. I was taken by surprise that my heart started to pound in my chest.
"Why are you-?" I began, but I was cut short by him cupping my chin in his hand and raising my face so that my eyes were at the same level as him.
For a slight moment, the thought occurred to me that he could do something unexpected like kissing me, instead, he started searching in my eyes for something and then smirked as if he found the answers he was looking for.
"What's with the flushed cheeks? Why so flustered as if you were caught doing something you shouldn't be doing?" He interrogated me, making me feel pressured and I gulped visibly without intending to do so.
"You were with your secret admirer, weren't you?" His voice was dangerously calm, yet his eyes were void of emotions.
He was always so hard to read and very much unpredictable. This managed to scare me every time, but this time his accusation of me acting inappropriately made my blood boil. It was not my intention to kiss Fabien when I entered the library. Even though it was wrong for a princess in the season of suitor selection to develop feelings towards someone even before the suitors were introduced, I was still a human and I could not always have complete control over my emotions.
Calvin's accusations seemed to hold some truth in them, but I hated how he could make me feel as if I have just committed a crime with a few hateful words. He has made me do worse things, so how can he accuse me of this? Besides, there was no way of him knowing exactly what happened. It was not like he was watching. He was just trying to make me say the things myself.
I tried to pull my hands from his grip as I denied what he just said. "Let me go. I've no idea what you're even talking about." I had a hard time trying to form sentences that made sense, let alone sounding convincing. I was super nervous despite knowing that I need not be in this situation.
Calvin tightened the grip on my wrist, and I gasped as I felt my hand go numb from his firm hold.
"Why d'you wanna get away from me? You didn't use to be like this." Calvin sneered. "Is it your little admirer who's making you feel confident for no reason?" His taunting was endless and unbearable. "Can't I have a taste of your sweet lips as well?"
I gasped at his impoliteness. In a different situation, I would have gotten butterflies by his suggestion of a kiss.
Without warning, he pulled me ever so close that my eyes fluttered shut on their own accord. I could feel his hot breath on my neck as he nuzzled me and then trailed his lips along my jawline.
I wanted to kick him and escape, but why was I feeling so powerless in his presence? Why did I have no power over my body every time these Beaufort cousins messed with me in one way or the other?
Finally, I managed to shove him away from me by putting my hands on his chest and pushing him back. At least he did not get the satisfaction of kissing me.
However, as I looked at his face for no logical reason, he looked unfazed by my reactions. In fact, he seemed to be enjoying, seeing the state I was in. I was sure I looked confused and pathetic at the same time with heavy breathing and goosebumps all over my arms and legs.
"I don't have a secret admirer and I wasn't doing anything as you imagine." I fired back angrily. Why was I suddenly feeling the need to explain to this pervert? Realizing my own stupidity, I huffed. "Why am I even explaining to you?" I hissed, reminding myself to control the volume of my voice, in case someone heard and the image of the royal family is ruined.
Again, I was being stupid. I should have just left, instead of wasting time with a bully. But something made me stay. Why, oh, why did Calvin still have the same impact on me? I had thought that he no longer had such control over me, only to prove that I had been wrong all this time.
As if I just did not make myself clear, Calvin went on; "Come to think of it, who would be so bold as to make a move on the future queen?" He burst into a peal of mocking laughter. "Maybe, you were just absorbed in an erotic novel. You do have a taste for literature, don't you? You must've definitely tried those. It's not like you're a saint or anything, are you?"
I was so angry despite my vain attempts to calm myself. I was already seeing red and was not thinking clearly that I took a step towards him and even jabbed a finger into his chest. His smirk disappeared as he was caught off guard.
"How could you treat me this way, after you just turned in-?" I stopped myself without finishing the question. I decided against telling him that I was aware of him being a suitor. I was not sure how revealing it to him would make me feel. "Why are you after me?" I cried, at last, unable to contain all my frustration.
When Calvin laughed in my face, I wished that I should have put it into words in a different way, so that it would not have backfired at me.
"What makes you think like that? You're an unbelievable brat." He sneered, inches away from my face.
I tried to not blink for fear that the tears pooled in my eyes would fall down my cheeks, giving him the satisfaction he was looking for. Then deciding that running away even now was better than listening to him humiliate me further, I turned on my heels to leave. Inside my head, a nasty voice was reminding me that this was not the way a princess should deal with anything.
But before I could take no more than three steps away from Calvin, I heard him coming after me. I turned over my shoulder to yell at him to stop bothering me when his hand reached to grab me by my waist and pull me close to him. My breathing hitched in my throat and my heartbeat quickened. I raised my eyes to look into his, which always seemed to hold so much depth, as he wrapped his arms around me in a gentle hug. But his eyes were closed and his face so calm. I wanted to scream and ask him why he was ever so changing like the wind.
"Ava, do you know how I long to have you in my arms like this every single day?" His voice sounded desperate and so sincere. I was not sure if I should believe his words. He had always excelled at playing with words. But I could not help melting in his warm embrace. I noticed little things like how his chest muscles flexed when he took a deep breath and was enticed for a moment by how his hand stroked my hair ever so delicately. "No one in their right mind would want to lose someone like you. And I swear that I will never let anyone else claim you. I'll win your heart somehow."
Even though his words objectified me, I felt myself starting to get excited over them. I would have returned his hug, if not for the passing maids.
Why did I suddenly start to feel as if something was not right, as if something was fake?
Before I could get to what it was, Calvin let out a devilish laugh and pushed me away. I staggered back as I tried to regain my balance. I noticed that Calvin had waited until the maids were out of sight and earshot. I felt mortified for being fooled by him yet again. This had been all an act for the maids to see, so they could spread the rumor of how the youngest son of the Duke of Denver was such a good suitor. It had been his intention all along to put on a show of how he was actually in love with me.
"I would do well being an actor, don't you think? I had you wrapped around my fingers by my little act, didn't I?" Calvin asked, chuckling.
I opened my mouth to yell at him, but no words came out. I was so disgusted and was done with him.
"You're sick!" I managed to hiss finally, having taken a deep breath and gaining control over my temper to some extent. With that, I stormed off in the direction of my bedroom. I could hear his maniac-like laughter, following me all the way up the stairs.
His madness scared me so much this time as it had never done before in the years I have known him. What has gotten into him? Why was getting at me so important to him that he would be this way? I wondered how he would have sounded to himself. Did he see it worthy to become the devil just to bully me? Or has he really gone crazy? I shuddered at the thought that I could somehow end up with this madman and I leaned on my bedroom door for support after I closed it shut behind me.