I keep staring at my reflection. Wherever I am, I seem to find some place to look at myself. It may sound narcissistic if I told someone this without an explanation and that's understandable, as far as the people i've met in my life anyone would think that statement was narcissistic, which is why i've kept the statement to myself. Ever since i've been able to speak I have been looking at my reflection, not to look at myself but to try to find myself in my reflection but the person staring back at me is never familiar. It's been twenty one years since I was born and eighteen years since I lost my parents but since I was born everything has been chaotic.
If I ever tell you i'm fine I can guarantee that it's a lie, I Ember Hera and never fine, not in the years i've lived, not once.
"Em! Where's your head at girl!", the pain at the top of my head from where my charming friend just hit me seemed to snap me out of my way too emotional thoughts. "May, have I ever told how wonderful you are?", I asked my friend who looked at me with a dumbfounded look as she blinked until what I said made sense but obviously I never made sense. I brought my face close to her and just stared at her for a few seconds before flicking her in the forehead, "But haven't I told you not to hit me upside the head?", I just smiled after I finished the statement I started off with and laughed at my friend who was rubbing her forehead with clear pain after piecing my two sentences together. "Ember why do you bully me so much?", May was whining now and I just continued giggling, shaking my head as I told her, "It's because I love you silly.", she just looked at me with a pout but I could tell she took delight in my statement.
"So.. why were you so out of it? What were you thinking about.. a boy!?", I rolled my eyes at best friend, "If I were into a boy the world would literally be ending May", I told this to my friend who returned my expression with the same one plastered on to her face. We stared at each other for a few seconds and then started to laugh just because neither of us can remain serious is these type of conversations.
"May..am I losing it?", I asked my friend with a serious tone after a few minutes had passed. She grabbed my chin and looked me in the eyes as she told me, "You are not losing it, you are just very emotional and sensitive. There's a difference you know?", May looked at me with an expression that says 'If I haven't told you this before I'll tell you again till it sticks'. I looked at my friend with sheepish smile and she pet my head telling me its okay.
That's our friendship for you. Me and May have been friends for four years but even then we click so well and she is a god send, her and my Aunt Iris are both god sends. My life has always been hard, losing my parents at such a young age then finding out that they were murdered and the murderer was never found in the middle of class during middle school is no joke. I couldn't even comprehend my own emotions and my curse was out of control the same day. I certainly didn't make it easy on Aunt Iris. I practically ran home that day and as if everything going on wasn't enough it was raining too. I was young then, I still am young but anyone who really knows me would know that my mind is far from my age. I knew my parents passed away but learning that they were murdered? I certainly was shocked beyond measure and I was only fourteen, the world certainly isn't fair, especially to such a young girl. I've grown up though, is that good or bad I really can't tell you, it honestly depends on the situation. Being in my second year of college, I'm quiet like I've always been but once you get know me, well RIP for your life. Adding on to that even though I'm quiet I've learned from a young age that I have to stand up for myself and I'm not scared to do so. It was a realization that occurred to me after my parents died, 'I don't have them, I only have myself', that was my exact thought and I stand by it to this day.
Aunt Iris was always someone who took good care of me but as I grew up I could tell she was struggling, I couldn't let her deal with my troubles so I had to take it into my own hands. It is a bad habit and a habit that's very hard to break. Even after May came into my life I still seem to have trouble saying what I mean and it's frustrating. Luckily for me, May has always been one to see through it all and I'm grateful for that.
"Em!", my petite friend but shockingly strong at the moment shook me back to reality. "May! Have you gone mad?!", I yelled at my friend in a hushed manner as we were still in college, siting outside during our lunch break. "Em! Look isn't that Harlow Arlen, from high-school?", I looked in the direction May was looking in, realizing that so many people were looking in the same direction. I had to put on my glasses to see cursing myself for not have putting in my contacts this morning.
"I think it is.. why is everyone getting so riled up about this though?", I asked this question to my friend who was still trying to get a closer a look. Next thing I know My sweet friend was hitting me upside the head again but this time I let her speak because I was curious as to why this guy was suddenly getting so much attention. "May, do you seriously not know?", now I was getting looked at with shock by my friend and I only gave her a questioning look in reply. She quickly pulled out her phone to an instagram page. "Look! Don't you remember? Their was a group of kids who bullied him back in high-school thinking he was innocent but next thing you know his parents showed up to school demanding expulsion of the boys who bullied him. His dad is a diplomat and his mom is a fashion designer. Do you seriously not remember and don't you ever open up instagram, he's extremely famous too."
I was still looking at my friend who was clearly frustrated at my lack of social skills. I blinked at her as her feelings were overwhelming me, again my curse was killing me. I rubbed my temples trying to regain focus and looked at the phone that was shoved into my hands by May. Harlow Arlen? It took me a moment but I did remember and I replied to my friend who was still looking at me in disbelief, "Harlow you mean that rude kid that slept in class all the time?", May looked like she was about to lose it at my reply but she also knew that my memory was really bad considering I had to take in so many peoples emotions. "Yes it was that kid, to fill you in for your horrid memory loss that really does scare me sometimes, Harlow Arlen was indeed that rude kid who slept in class all the time. You know why he never go in trouble? Because my dear Ember his parents are very high people in society. Have you caught up now?", May was being patient but I could sense she was still about to lose it. "I remember, I remember. But why is he so popular is he really that famous that our whole school knows?", I asked a stupid question to my friend, that I knew but I seriously didn't get the big deal. From what I remember he was very rude, I didn't pay much attention to him. "Let's see he gets styled in his mother's clothes all the time, has been on red carpets and his father is a diplomat. So yes he is very well known and he gets both of his parents looks, which aka means he is considered very handsome.", May ended that last part with a sigh but the only thing I was interested in was that May was actually sad that he was handsome, "Since when do you get sad that a guy is handsome?", I questioned and I got another beating from my friend, "Okay, okay I get it my sweet little May flower, only you are the prettiest to me okay? Don't let some rude kid get you down.", I comforted my insecure friend. "I know, I am the prettiest! Plus you're right that kid was so rude... but he still was handsome even then..", I just shook my head laughing at my confident but insecure friend. "Relax don't you know you're considered one of the most prettiest girls in this college and you got here yourself not by you're parents, that my friend is a real accomplishment.", May looked at me with puppy dog eyes as I usually am not this nice to anyone even her, so hearing something like that from me was quite the praise. "If I got this praise from you then I must really be pretty.", I nodded my head still laughing, "Of course you are, never question that.", I replied to my friend. After our conversation ended she told me to wait as she went to ask some of the other kids what Harlow was doing at our college but my guess was that he was joining our college, unless his girlfriend was here but then again could a person like Harlow really change that much, that's the question that was intriguing me.