His eyes were cold, black and full of anger. "Ember run, get help.", my mom told me. I didn't want to leave them there but I had no choice, there was a mad man in the house and I had to get help. Everything was overwhelming, emotions I had never felt before were messing with my head. That's when I heard it, two gunshots, one after another. My soul left my body at that minute. I stood at the back door and I couldn't move. 'What just happened?', my thoughts were running rampant and I was paralyzed. I could only feel one set of emotions now, guilt, anger and shock. These emotions were all coming from the same person and five minutes later these emotions had left, what was left were the bodies of my parents lying lifeless on the grounds. I couldn't process it, all I could ask was why? But to no surprise there was never an answer.
"Em, are you sure you're okay?", May asked as we walked to the college parking lot. Classes had finished for the day and May had told Vivian she would take me home and look after me. I was grateful but honestly I just needed to be alone. "I'm fine May.", my voice was tired and so was my mind. The nightmare I had left me numb. I've had this nightmare on multiple occasions so it isn't new but it still leaves me a mess once I wake up. When I woke up in the nurse's office I could only think about the nightmare I had, lucky for me no one had noticed I had a nightmare otherwise it would have been a bigger mess trying to explain when I was three years old I had experienced the murder of my parents and was having constant nightmares about that moment to this day.
I was still reeling from the memory and the throbbing headache I had was not helping. "Em, something is wrong isn't it? You can tell me, you know that keeping it to yourself never goes well.", May was coaxing me to tell her what was wrong but i didn't mind. It was true that if I kept it all to myself then I would surely explode at any moment like a ticking time bomb. "I... had a nightmare..", I was trying to tell her but the words wouldn't form in my head. "What was the nightmare about, it's okay Em, take your time." Once we got in May's car I spilled everything I was holding in with no control. "It's a memory from when I was younger.. when my parents died. It's been haunting me from time to time and I can't get it out of my head.", I turned to May to look her in the eyes with tears forming in my own eyes, "I was there May, when they were shot. I was supposed to go get help but the more I think about it, I think my mom told me to run because she knew what was going to happen.", I was crying now and although she was shocked with what I said May still comforted me. "It's okay Em, It'll be okay. I know it isn't fair but you have to remember your parents cared so much for you, so much that they did anything for you. They are still with you Em, they will always be with you.", I sobbed more at May's words but I had kept in my own emotions for so long and this was a much needed talk. "May...", I tried to reply but my mind wasn't working all I could do was cry while May hugged me.
After a few minutes of consistent crying I pulled myself together. "Here", May hands me some tissues that I swear she keeps in her car just for me. I take them wipe my tear stained cheeks and the mascara that had run down. "Do you feel better?", May was being gentle now, "I guess, I mean the guilt I still there but I know that I couldn't have done anything, anyways lets drop the topic for now, I'm tired of crying.", May nodded her head and started the car and we drove off to my place listening to some music.
We reached my apartment within thirty minutes, it was a bit far from the college since my aunt works at a hospital as a nurse near our apartment. "Will you be okay on your own?", May was still concerned and knowing me I can understand why, "Yeah, my aunt should be back in an hour or so, she doesn't have a night shift today.", I gave my friend a reassuring smile and watched her drive away, alone finally, I thought. I've been alone for so long, even after May and I became friends I was still alone, or I felt that way anyways. My aunt Iris was always occupied with work, being a nurse isn't easy and it came with many double shifts including night time shifts. After locking the door I headed to my room to go take a long hot shower because that's exactly what i needed right now. I played music as usually to fill the silence and headed to shower, with thoughts in my head.
The memory of parents threatened to bring tears again but I pushed it away and focused on today's events instead. It wasn't like everyday, Harlow definitely brought an overwhelming atmosphere of emotions to our college today and I knew it would only get worse since he was going to be attending our college everyday starting tomorrow. What May said was still in my head though, "he did catch you before you fell of the bed", was it just human instinct or had Harlow actually changed. The question lingered in my head as I hummed along to the music playing.
I got changed and went to get some dark chocolate, the only sweet I can tolerate. Hearing the front door be unlocked I realize that Aunt Iris was home as I looked at the time. "Ember?", My Aunt called out. "Yeah, I'm here.", I said standing by the kitchen counter. "Vivian called me, you fainted today?", I could tell my Aunt was concerned. "Yeah I did, but it's okay, you know that it happens sometimes.", I tried to have some confidence when I spoke to my Aunt, "Ember you know you don't have to hold up a front with me.", Aunt Iris was right I didn't have to but if i started talking now it wouldn't be over till next year. "I know Aunt Iris, i'll tell you but for now I don't want to think about it.", I told her truthfully. "It's okay dear, as long as you know i'm here for you. Let's change the topic now.", I gave her a small smile and a nod as she squeezed my hand for reassurance. "How are things at the hospital?", I asked her as I went through the kitchen to figure out what to have for dinner. "It's fine, many kids come in with a fever because of the cold weather, nothing i'm not used too.", I hummed a reply as I got frustrated with our empty kitchen cabinets. "We need to go shopping for food, there is nothing to eat.", I sighed in defeat. "Em, can I ask you something?", My Aunt looked serious and I nodded sitting down on a chair by our small dinner table. "Do you want to live on your own, or with May?", I was a little confused at the question, "Why all of a sudden?", my insecurities were quick to try and convince me that I was being a burden to my Aunt. Aunt Iris knows me well and followed up on her question, "I think it'll be good for you. I know May had asked you if you wanted to stay with her and you said no because of me but it isn't fair to you. You're an adult now and the college is far from here. Do you understand what I'm saying?", I pushed away my insecurities and looked at the facts that my Aunt had told me. It's true May has always wanted me to be her roommate since we started college but I wanted to stay with Aunt Iris. The college is far from where we stay because we had to stay near the hospital in case my aunt got called in for an emergency. "I mean, are you sure you would be fine?", I asked my Aunt feeling bad. "I can handle myself Ember, and anyways I'm usually on night shifts, I know you get lonely often. You have to live your life Ember.", I sighed as my Aunt was making a good point. "Okay then, I'll ask May, I'm sure she would be thrilled. I promise to visit you in the hospital okay?", I still felt bad but my Aunt Iris seemed to be happy under her tired eyes, so I was happy as well. "Alright then, I'll hold you to your promise. Also how about we order out today, there really is nothing in the kitchen.", I agreed with my Aunt a hundred percent at that last statement.
After we ate our barbecue chicken, my Aunt fell asleep with a full stomach and a satisfied mind. I was always very aware of how she felt because it was important to me. Aunt Iris took me in after my parents died and if I didn't have her I don't know how my life would have gone. I'm grateful to have her as my guardian, she is my mom's sister after all. I cleaned up after dinner and headed to bed. I was going to be starting a new chapter in life, I could feel it. I just hope it will go well. I closed my eyes to drift into a dream world again.