COLLINS POV
For the past three weeks I had been hiding at my condo. For the first time I hated the social scene. I could not bear to be around family or friends or well wishers. I was ignoring every single one of their calls. After a while they gave up on me. Even my mother.
No one could get through me. I mean what do you say to a person who is practically infertile? Nothing that's why I was angry. I was almost 35 and my life was practically over.
All my hard work would be for nothing. It was practically useless, if I had no one to leave it for. All my efforts were useless. I had always wanted children, but I figured I had a couple more years. When I had left my mark and could focus my attention on my child. Giving them all the attention and love they will ever need.
Now that dream was practically gone. There was no need. I had gone to five different specialists. Their prognosis were all the same. Some worst than others. Some said I had less than a 3 percent chance of ever conceiving. I felt like less than a man. I know that sounded stupid but I could not help myself. I was beating and cursing myself and that day.
I wanted someone to hurt the same way I was hurting. I had achieved some of that by destroying the life of the truck driver who ran into me. He could not make bail and I could care less.
What enraged me further was the fact he had two kids and another on the way. He got to go home to his kids but had denied me the privilege. My lawyer had set his bail equivalent to his mortgage. I was glad. He could rot in prison for all I care. My father was against it but my mom totally supported it. Her defense was the man had taken part of my life away.
I poured myself another drink. It was past noon. Kids. The word made me feel like crying. If I had messed up a couple years ago I wouldn't be in this mess.
Wait that was it. I might have screwed up. Maybe I did have a child after all. One could never be to careful and I had had my fair share of women. Maybe one of them could have carried my child without me knowing. Though it would be difficult all the women I had an affair with had a non disclosure. And I always demanded a paternity test. But still there could be a chance.
With this I rushed to my phone to hire my PI. I got hold of my dad to tell him of my plan and seek his advice. We were close and he always stood by me. He thought it was a good shot.
With that I took life on with a new vigor. I was Collins. I always succeeded in all that I did. This was just like another business meeting or deal or project. Except this project was a life and death situation.
For the past 9 weeks my investigators had looked into every woman lever had a relationship with. None of them ever was pregnant. We looked into every rock and crack. My girlfriend in high school, occasional hookups, past girlfriends from the last ten years etc. But it was always the same result. They never bore any child. Or even if they did it was a 100 percent not mine. We triple checked just to make sure.
Heck I had made 100s of checklist of women's name. I had asked my closest friends the Timmons kids to help. They were the only ones who knew my situation. They offered every girl they could think off.
But each time they were crossed off.
I was getting more and more miserable and done respondent when the result came in negative. I was miserable, and it was having a toll on my health and my family. I was moody and intolerable. I had fired five assistants in the last 4 weeks. No one could get through me. And quite frankly I didn't want them to.
I had no choice. It was time to accept that it would take a miracle for me to sire a child.
I was glum. I think everyone was. They could see my expression and read that I was angry. To think that all this time I had always been so careful. I wish there was just one
time that I had never been careful. Just once. When I had been too wild and careless and one of the women could have conceived my child.
My mother had cajoled me into going to a dinner party that the Timmons were holding. I was not in the mood. But there was only so much years I could take from the woman. I agreed for my own sanity.
l arrived at the mansion. My parents was already here, they arrived together judging by my dad's Benz. I had not been in this mansion for over a month. Usually I was here every other week to hang out with no the sets of families.
A maid let me in and I made my way to the dining room.
Everyone was already at the table waiting expectantly for me.
I nodded my head and I took a seat next to Morgan. But I was not in the mood to talk. The conversation picked up, but I'm sure it was for my sake. Judy was here with her husband Bruce. She gave me a wave. I see Ashley was back from her fashion tour in Paris or was it New York? She looked as beautiful as ever. We had dated for a while but we broke up.
But we were still good friends. She looked at me sadly and gave me a watery smile. I could only nod. Sara I suspected was busy with her acting career.
Morgan who was sitting next to me gave me a bro pat on the back. It might have been comforting if it was not wasted. I never showed weakness. I could only nod. I looked for Zion but he wasn't here. He was probably late as usual. My parents were sitting on either side of Eric my godfather and Rachel Timmons.
The conversations picked up once again. I made some comments here and there but apart from that I was quiet. I was bringing down the mood but I could care less. The conversation topics were light and they were skirting around the issue.
The food finally arrived thank goodness. The whole table was quiet. Everyone was eating in a somber mood. It was like a funeral. My funeral. was beyond irritated and done with this silence.
"There has been no progress" I knew that they were dying to know. As expected there gasps and shaking of heads.
"I am sorry-" Eric began to speak sadly.
Iraised my hand to silence him. I was so done with everyone apologizing. There was nothing that they said that could change the situation. I was sick of doctors, investigators, friends and parents apologizing. He git my message and gave me a nod.
"So there is no woman?" Judy asked me sadly.
"Apparently I never impregnated any woman I was too careful" I laughed wryly.
"None?" Rachel asked looking directly at me. Like she was reading my soul. Rachel was still a beautiful woman. She was extremely nice but firm. She was a no nonsense woman. We were never really close but lately it seemed she had been withdrawing herself away from me. Don't get me wrong, she was still extremely nice. But lately I have been getting the feeling she is annoyed with me. Like she hates me for some reason.
"Yeah" I confirmed.
"You're sure?" she asked again. Everyone was staring at her quizzical.
"Yes I'm sure" I wonder what her problem is.
"So Diane had an abortion?" She whispered more to herself than to anyone else.
was holding my glass about to take a sip when I dropped it in shock, spilling all the contents.
"What?" I whispered. I must have misheard her.
"Diane" she said again.
"What do you mean-" Eric started to ask. He looked mad.
"I mean Diane as in your other daughter" she snapped at him angrily.
"Omigosh you guys have totally forgotten about her? Was she so useless that you all have forgotten how she was in all our lives, how she lived here? Are you all that shallow and wicked?" She asked angrily eyes flashing.
She turned to me "Well why don't I refresh your memory hmmm? Let's see she is the girl that you slept with more than eleven years ago, dumped, humiliated, kicked out. Have I forgotten anything?" she asked sarcastically, tapping her finger on her cheek.
The whole table was in silence. There was so much tension in the air. Everyone even my mother were gaping at Rachel.
Rachel never ever lost her cool. This was surprising.
"Oh yes. How could I forget? You got her pregnant. Then being the bastard that you're denied your child" she said pointing accusingly at me.
"She must have meant nothing to you if you guys have completely forgotten about her. Well it is just as well. She is better off without you. Without all of you" waving her hand across the woman.
Then she started to laugh. " This is so ironic, isn't it? Here you are desperately looking for a child. And ten years ago you had one and abandoned it. It's really ironic" she said continuing to laugh at my predicament. I cringed at her every word.
"Mom please it was many years ago. it wasn't his fault. What's done is done. What we should do is look for Diane. Diane could be the key to Collins predicament. If she had-"
"Shut the hell up Morgan. I am sick of listening to you. So please shut the hell up!" She screamed at him.
I was stunned. I had never heard Rachel curse. Let alone at her own son. She was mad. No she was pissed. She was glaring at us all with disgust and hatred. I felt bad for Morgan. He had flinched back as if she had physically slapped him.
The whole table was silent. Talk about awkward.
She took a deep breath and composed herself. She looked like the regal Rachel I knew. Then she turned to me
"I wish you luck in finding your child. If it exists" she jeered at me. She threw down her napkin and stood up. Walking out of the room. No one tried to stop her.
She stopped at the door way and turned to me. She spoke so softly. "Collins did did you ever think that this was karma or Gods way of punishing you for your actions? Because to me it sure looks like it. And it seems to be a fitting punishment.
Because He is punishing you in the worst way ever"
Then she walked away. Everyone at the table had shock written over all their faces. Especially mine. I was in shock and pain. Rachel was probably right. Maybe God was punishing me.
"Collins call your investigator. Tell him to start looking" Eric spoke. He had sadness in his eyes. Probably because of the way that his wife dismissed him. Standing up he hurried after
her.
I set my emotions aside and looked at the bigger picture. Of course Diane. Diane had my child. Recognition and hope dawned on everyone's faces. But there was a hint of weariness
Diane. Diane Diane.
Rachel was right. She was pregnant almost 11 years ago. With my own child. She was the perfect one. She was the solution.
I whipped my phone and called my investigator.
I barked orders that he should find everything he can about
Diane deVilluneba.
For the first time in a long time I felt some form of peace.
Everything would work out. I had hope. I was a father. I was excited.
But that happens quickly disappeared when the next statement was made by Judy.
"Collins, you do remember the contract right? You waived all rights away. Technically he or she is not you child"
I shook my head. I won't let that stop me.
I will explain the situation to Diane. I am sure she would understand. She was always so understanding and sweet. She had no evil in her. She was like a saint always seeing the good in the worst of things. Besides there is a reward in it for her; as the mother of my child. Heck I'll marry her of she demanded it.
She was my only hope.
She was my last hope.