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I Hate Heroes

Ripjack
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Synopsis
Shawn is a guy who suffers from a big misunderstanding, and just couldn't live as a hermit so he decides to become the Villain everyone thought of him as.
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Chapter 1 - Intruders

"Damn it! Who raised you guys? Pigs? Get your muddy boots off my rug, I just cleaned it yesterday." "Die you mons-"

'Hello there! I'm sorry for being impolite, unlike these guys, let me introduce myself. My name is Shawn. Menacing, am I right? Anyways, I'm the villain of this story which means the heroes of this land are after my head and I'm not sure about you but I would like to keep mine. Firstly, this whole villain business is just a misunderstanding (at this point). What I actually do is botany and somehow that got twisted to the point that everyone thinks I lobotomize children. I don't even know what lobotomy is. Since time is short and this is the beginning of a very long story so I hope you have a comfy chair and a warm blanket, maybe some jazz playing in the background. Now lets get back to this scene'

"-ster!" A group of four, two men and two women with no relationship between them other than they are wannabe heroes, stand on my hypoallergenic rug with their disgusting boots ruining it. They are lead by a young dark haired man, if I had to guess his age I would say about 24-25, wielding a long sword. In the back stood a boy with glasses wielding the most powerful weapon ever, a stick. Seems like he's a wannabe wizard. One of the girls, brunette if you want to know, runs up to their leader and says "Is that ugly thing our mark?" At this point I was already aggravated as they burned my lovely cherry blossom forest down (no one taught them how to properly put out fires I guess) and tracked mud onto my rug (I spent 30 pieces of silver on it, which is a lot for someone without a job). But this last sentence brought my kind exterior crashing down. "You know, if I put half the makeup on that you are wearing, I would look ten times better than you." For some reason their leader got angry at started to yell at me "Don't talk to her that way, you foul beast!" Maybe there is something going on between them, not sure though. And why do they keep calling me a beast? I took a shower yesterday so it cant be the smell. Might be my coat made from a chimera (Half lizard, half wolf if you wish to know). "I'm a human you know, and I have a name." "Lies, what human looks as ugly as you?!" I, being the gentleman I am, try to start a conversation "Hi, I'm Shawn, what brings you to my humble abode?" but these guys just wouldn't stop b**ching at me. "This dirty place?, smells like the depths of hell from where thou came" that annoying leader spoke. Of course to put him in his place in the nicest way I could, I said "You piece of s**t, this place smells of fire because you couldn't be bothered to put sand in the campfire you made! And it might not seem like much but you can't just destroy a man's nicest rug just because you want to kill him for some gold!" Not to brag but at this point my head was worth 2 whole pieces of gold. Sorry for getting off track, wont happen again. This chapter at least.

Now where was I? Oh right. "-want to kill him for some gold!" This time a sniveling boy, about 14 years old, spoke up "You killed *sniff* my sister!*sniff* I'm here to avenge *sniff* her!" "Hey now, I haven't killed anyone. And, how do you plan to kill me with that tiny dagger? One more thing, why are you with these guys?, they're all like 10 years older than you." "Quiet Demon!" Yelled that leader again. Based on their stances, I could tell these guys wouldn't leave without a fight. Well three of them anyways. The last girl was wearing a hood so I couldn't get a good glimpse of her but she seemed almost. . . sad, as if she didn't want to hurt anyone. As they readied their weapons, I pull out one of my experiments, a poison made from cicuta maculata (water hemlock), and took a deep breath, as this would be the first time I would take a life.