Take a deep breath, take a deep breath, take a deep breath. I've been chanting this from the moment I woke up and saw the message.
HIS message.
AAAAH, squealing loudly I buried my face in the mattress.
And spent a solid minute trying to overcome this sudden urge to just go and award him with a thousand kisses.
Yesterday has to be the most beautiful day.
I've imagined a thousand ways this meeting could go wrong, or turn out a total disaster but I've to give it to Alex that he knows how to stay calm.
Not only this he actually got me thinking about him again, thinking about him in a way I shouldn't have, not until I make sure that Betty or Veronica is not going to be an issue.
Sighing deeply and schooling my features back to normal, I pick up my discarded phone and stare at the screen once again.
And once again I smile hard.
"Be ready by 4, wear something casual ;)," the message in itself isn't something to feel so excited over.
It's just that it was the first time he texted me. Imagine waking up still trying to digest what happened the night before and the first message you see is from the only person who's still on your mind.
I couldn't help the rush of blood or the rapid beating of my heart.
Was he too thinking about me?
I wasn't able to formulate one single sane thought.
What should I reply back with? "Sure <3" Nah too desperate...
Erasing the reply I stare once more at the wink emoji at the end of his text, ughhh biting my lip I gather my hair and tie them up.
Making up my mind that I've waited long enough and I should reply back, I quickly type "see you" and hit send.
Pondering over my reply I start overthinking, should I add an emoji or anything. The text sounds too serious.
But before I could add a smiley, he replies back with a thumbs up.
Thinking to leave it at that, I throw my covers aside and check the time.
It's 12 p.m on a Saturday morning and I've got to hurry if I need to be presentable before he comes.
I make my bed and quickly rush to do some breakfast.
Scanning through the cupboards I found some trail mix, taking it out I brewed some coffee and cut up an apple.
The saying an apple a day keeps the doctor away has been drilled in my mind so firmly that even now after all these years I never forget to take an apple.
Taking a slice, I went into my bathroom to examine my face, not to belittle or criticize but to be sure that I don't have any unwanted facial hair.
Picking up a tweezer and the portable mirror I went back to the kitchen and took a seat on the barstool. The natural light here is just perfect.
While I even my eyebrows and pluck a few hairs from my upper lips, I have my breakfast. Speeding up the work as much as I can.
I still have to apply a few masks.
Bringing the dishes to the sink I get to wash them, last night's dinner plate is in the sink as well. Though I always clean the kitchen before bed but yesterday can be an exception.
Putting away the dishes to dry. I wipe my hands on the kitchen towel and rush to my terrace garden. I totally forget to water my plants. My babies might be starving.
"Aww so sorry," apologizing I hunch forward to smell my lilies. Inhaling deeply I touch the petals softly. I soon have to transfer them in a pot so they could survive the winters, that are soon approaching.
After cooking, gardening is the only other thing that takes my mind of things. The fresh smell, the greenery, and the way they shine in the sunlight is enough to put a smile on my face every time.
Watering my plants, adding fertilizer, and removing any wild herbs I found, I lost track of time. By the time I went inside it was already 1:25 and I still need to oil my hair and apply a glowing mask.
I don't care much about the face mask but my hair needs to be thoroughly oiled. My hair is the only best feature I have, long, thick and soft. I take great pride in them.
I remember how it was a fight every day before school to get a hair tie to stay in my hair. The hair ties either never have enough capacity to double or they would break apart.
Don't even get me started on the hairbrushes, it was considered a feat in our household if my brush survives a month. I always had spare hairbrushes just in case, the other breaks.
And it wasn't like I brushed too hard, the brushes simply were on match for my hair, it used to get me annoyed back then but now I'm thankful for them.
After I was done with the oiling, I debated whether I had enough time for a quick scrub and a mud mask, giving in to the temptation I decided yes I can squeeze them in.
Putting on All too well by Taylor Swift, I get done with my skincare and hurriedly went to take a shower.
It was then that I remember I need to shave too, dammit Kara. Cursing my lazy self loudly I leathered up some, body gel on the loofa and started scrubbing, it'll take an entirety to shave my body.
It took me 50 mins, 50 mins to take a shower, I felt like crying, but as you can see I'm running low on time, I decided to postpone it.
Drying up my body I quickly applied a thick layer of my fav body lotion and putting on my bathrobe I went to blow-dry my hair, I didn't dare look at the time I know it'll only cause me to panic further.
Taking my hair out of the towel, I picked up the biggest roller brush and begin drying my hair. I learned this blowdrying technique from Sarah Angius, it's her signature blowdry and I think it is the best after chocolate.
Putting my hair in a hair tie I DARE check the time, and it's 3:45 he'll be here any minute and I still haven't decided what to wear. Internally screaming and running I went to my closet.
I decided on the first, dress I saw. It was that strawberry dress, I bought it a long time ago and have fallen in love. Besides nothing would scream more casual than this. Pairing it with my white converse.
I rushed back and quickly applied sunscreen, and a little concealer under my eyes and around my lips, and a little brush on my forehead. I started blending it, later settled it all with face powder.
Putting on a thick coat of mascara, blush, and a dash of Huda's on top lipstick I decided I was done. Taking my hair out of the hair tie I was finger combing them when the doorbell rang.
I froze, my heart was busy displaying its quality to the maximum, and started to pump blood as fast as it can to my face.
Putting a hand over my cheeks, I gave myself a once over and went to the door. There was another knock, "Coming," I screamed and dashed forward before it seems like I'm making him wait longer on purpose.
Psst, I'm not that kind of girl. Taking one last breath I opened the door and smiled even wider.
There he stood, wearing black slacks with a sky blue cotton shirt, sleeves rolled and the first button open. A slight stubble decorating his jaw, and his hair seemed like he just ran his fingers through them.
"Here," smiling he passed me a bouquet of lilies. I wanted to jump him right now, he remembered.
"I hope you still like them." It wasn't a question he knew alright, the way he sounded so smug he had a smile on his face. I stepped aside to welcome him in.
"Thank you, I love them," motioning for him to take a seat I went to put the lilies in a vase.
Pouring orange juice into a glass, I went after him. But he wasn't in the lounge but outside observing my plants. I don't know why, but I felt shy all of a sudden.
This moment seemed unreal.
"You must be thirsty, here" I offered him the glass and avoided looking at him, instead I focus on the plants he was just busy admiring.
"You look beautiful, Kara." The way he said that, in that calm low voice of his, I couldn't help but be a little self-conscious of myself.
"You too," I said back and wanted to evaporate in thin air. Why do I have to say that, you too? Like woman get a grip, will you?
"Thank you, although I have to admit I haven't been called beautiful before. But I think I like this." I looked him straight in the eyes and found him smiling. Which I've to admit is a sight to behold.
"So, you're obsessed with lilies?" he said pointing towards the lilies with one hand and gulping down the juice with his other.
"Kind of," shrugging I added, "You said casual but," I waved my hand up and down looking at his dress shoes, he's clearly better dressed among the two of us.
"Oh, this I came straight from work. I really didn't have time to change but I did drop my coat and tie." Work on Saturday? Is he for real?
"You could've told me you'll be busy, we could arrange it some other day." although if I look closely he does look tired.
Shrugging he said, "What's the point in delaying the obvious? We two need to have this talk and soon." putting the glass down on the cement bench he put his hands back in pockets.
"So, you ready shall we get going?" he yawned and I for some reason felt sympathy towards him. He clearly is overworked and tired.
I don't know how is he going to be attentive during our outing if he's sleepy. To be honest, if I were sleepy and someone asks me to take them out, I would simply smack them hard on the head and would then go back to bed.
Besides, if we were to have a serious talk I don't think doing it outside, within the hearing range of a stranger is a good option. I wouldn't feel comfortable discussing this.
Making up my mind I decided that it would be much better if we stay home, I can cook something, and then we can discuss it here comfortably, without having to be cautious of anyone judging us.
Shifting my weight on my right leg, I hold my hands together in front of me, "Alex, I was thinking how about we stay here and talk. I can cook something, we could watch a movie or anything. We'll have time to relax," I plead my case hoping he wouldn't take it the wrong way.
He chooses this moment to stifle a yawn again. He clearly is tired
"I mean if you don't mind, anywhere is good with me but because I offered yesterday to take you out I think this would be a disgrace to my honor as a man,"
I giggled a little and put my hand over his heart, "I insist, that way your honor would be intact." Pulling away my hand I tucked my hair behind my ears.
His eyes followed the movement before they stopped to look at my lips or was I imagining things now? Leaning onto the railing he said smiling, "I'm craving some lasagne."
Yes, yes, yes progress.
I wanted to pull at his cheeks he looked adorable enough.
"Sure, let me just make sure I have the ingredients." Smiling at him like a lovesick puppy I went inside to check my pantry.
Ricotta cheese, spaghetti sauce, and cream cheese. I was making the mental note of the items I would need. When Alex came into the kitchen too.
"Do you have everything you need?" He said looking at the pantry with me.
"Yes, but I still need a few items. Why don't you make yourself at home I'll be back within 10 mins." I said sidestepping him.
"I'll come with you," he said following me into my bedroom where I was taking out my wallet.
"It's okay, you rest I'll be quick." At this, he simply went outside and I thought maybe he's in the lounge but I found him out in the corridor, keeping open the door for me.
I can open doors myself just fine, but right now this was so sweet to object.
So, we both went downstairs silently. "We don't need the car," I said when he was about to take out his car keys, seeing him reluctant I added, "The shop is just around the corner."
"Sure, if you saw."
The short 10 min walk was done silently, neither of us saying anything, lost in our own thoughts.
He put a coin to take out the trolley before I could and smiled motioning for me to lead the way.
"This way," I pointed towards the dairy aisle and went looking for the cream and ricotta cheese. Next, I found the spaghetti sauce and I was done.
"See, I told you it won't take long," I told him but he was busy staring at the two boys behind us. By the hard set of his eyes and his face overall, I could tell he isn't pleased with them.
Touching his arm I asked, "Hey, all good?" I went around to look at them to see what was the reason for his displeasure when he grabbed my arm and went straight to the ice cream freezers.
"So, does ice cream sound good for dessert?" he asked smiling but the frown was still plastered between his eyebrows. Thinking it is better to let go of the topic, he's clearly trying to avoid.
I shrugged and added, "Who would say no to ice cream,"
Laughing he went for the chocolate flavor and showing me the tub he raised his brows, "Good?"
"Better," I went warm all inside, he still remembers everything.
"I think we should like to try this bubblegum flavor as well, what do you say?" Putting the tub inside the trolley he asked me.
"Perfect." giving him a thumbs up I was about to move forward when he suddenly bent forward and brushed his hands against my cheeks before letting go.
I think I need to start keeping an inhaler from now with me whenever I'm around him because it was getting difficult with each passing second to breathe.
"Anything else?" he maneuvered the trolley around me.
"No, that's all," I said in a low voice. I still haven't recovered fully from what happened.
Proceeding to the self-checkout station, Alex scanned our groceries and paid before we made our way out.
Keeping the bags on the kitchen counter Alex went to put the ice creams in the freezer.
Slipping out of my shoes, I wore my slippers and put on an apron. Shooing Alex out of the kitchen I went to check on the chicken I took out of the freezer before we went.
Turning on the kettle I poured some warm water onto the chicken so that it would defrost quickly. I then went to boil the water for lasagne sheets.
Preheating the oven for 350 degrees Celcius, I went and took out the baking dish and washed it. I have this habit of washing every dish before using it, even if I put it away clean.
Taking out the lasagne sheets I went to check if the water has come to a boil, I then added the sheets in and let them cook until they're done.
Seeing that the chicken was done, I took out the cutting board and got started with the boneless chicken breast piece. I know you'll think it's wrong and I should add chicken mince but I just cannot digest the mince.
I don't like the flavor that way.
Putting a pan over the stove I added a little oil and the chicken cubes on low flame. Meanwhile, I checked on the sheets, they still weren't done.
So, I went to dice an onion.
When the chicken started to change color I added in the onion, stirred it for a few minutes, and let it cook before I added the spices.
Straining the sheets, I left them under cold water, taking up some oil on my hands I spread it over the sheets. It would keep them from sticking to each other.
I went to check on Alex and found him sleeping. My heart just melted seeing him like that. Taking out the comforter off my bed I spread it over him and muted the sports channel he was watching.
Brushing his hair aside, I took one look at him and went to the kitchen.
Stirring up the chicken I tasted it to see if it's cooked properly, turning off the stove. Taking out a bowl I added the cream and ricotta cheese, oregano, thyme, and a little garlic powder. Mixing it well I took out the baking dish.
Pouring the spaghetti sauce all over the base of the dish, I added the cheese mixture, the chicken some shredded cheese on top, and the sheet. I then repeated the steps. Once done I covered the top with foil and put it in the oven.
Sensing as it would take about an hour to bake, I decided to bake brownies to go with the ice cream.
It wasn't because I wanted Alex to sleep some more, nope totally because I was craving the brownies. Yes, the brownies.
Taking out my baking supplies I went to work.
The soft ding from the oven indicated me that the lasagne was ready.
Putting on my mitten gloves I took the dish out and nearly died of the amazing smell and the way I could hear the cheese sizzle.
"Hmm, it smells amazing," I nearly dropped the dish, putting it on the counter I turned around.
Taking rapid breaths I looked at him, "You scared me,"
Scratching the back of his head said, "Sorry?" sounding sheepish.
"I see you're all done, how long was I out? Sorry I wasn't much help." he sounded guilty and cute at the same time.
"For like an hour, and it's okay I like to work alone, Why don't you go get fresh. Dinner's about ready." I suggested while pouring the brownie mixture into the greased pan.
"Sure, where's the washroom?" he asked rubbing his eyes and pushing is hair aside.
"Down the corridor, First door to your left," I informed and put the brownies in the oven.
Setting the table with my finest dinner set, I felt proud of myself. I even put the vase in the center and light up a scented candle. I just hope he likes it.
I was taking my apron off when he entered the kitchen again. He was looking at the table appreciatively before he gave me a solid smile.
Taking my hand in his, he pulled my hair out of the bun, I've secured them in and guided me towards the table pulling out my chair he lent forward a little and said, "You've done a lot for me today, I appreciate everything."
He sounded sincere and I shuddered a little as his breath tingled my neck.
"It was really nothing," taking my seat I said.
He occupied his seat and looked at the orange juice I have taken out, looking at me questioningly, "I don't drink, not even occasionally." I explained.
Nodding, he said nothing. Too stunned for a moment I just looked at him, he got to be the first one after my parents who didn't asked why don't you drink? It's like whenever I refuse a drink someone always got to ask why don't you drink and it always gets on my nerves.
There is no particular reason, I just value my organs and I hate headaches and hangovers.
"After you," he gave me the knife, "I think I'll ruin it if I cut this."
Laughing I cut the lasagne and using the spatula scoop out the piece and put it on his plate.
"Thank you," taking his fork he started eating with gusto.
Closing his eyes he chewed it slowly before opening them, "I really like to kiss the chef's hand. This is really good, Kara wow really I didn't know you cook so well"
Seeing him enjoy the food, put me instantly in a better mood. Ever since I've started cooking, it was the part where I presented my dish to someone that I felt anxious as to whether they'll like it or not.
But all my hard work paid off the instant someone said that they liked what I cook.
Shinning like the tree on Christmas I thanked him and forced myself to stop smiling so much.
He took 4 servings of my lasagne, it wasn't like I was counting but it felt nice to know that he enjoyed it that much.
After we were done, he helped me clean the kitchen.
Taking out the ice cream and brownie we moved to the terrace. The sun was just setting and the view was simply breathtaking.
"I understand now why you insisted on me coming here in the daylight, it offers an amazing view," he said sitting crossed legged and taking his plate.
"Umm, count this as one of the reasons, why I'm going to marry you," he said that so spontaneously that I started coughing the bite I just took.
Putting aside his plate he started rubbing my back, "You, okay?" he asked.
He has some nerve asking me this after he just mentioned marriage and us together.
My body was on fire right now. Touching his shoulder, "I'm fine now, thank you." I asked him to continue eating.
"You really are sure about marrying me?" I asked again nervously. I for some reason I just can't get the image of him and Veronica out of my mind.
"What's there not be sure of?" he frowned, setting aside his plate he shifted so that now he was sitting facing me.
"Our parents want this, and from where I'm looking you don't mind either, or do you?" he asked all serious.
How am I supposed to tell him that it is like a dream come true but at the same time I'm a little nervous? I have a feeling that something just isn't right, call it a female intuition but I can't ignore it just because I like him.
Would he be happy with me? Has he already forgotten Betty this easily? Is Raven forcing him? There's just too much to go through before I could give him a solid answer.
Moreover, he doesn't even have a ring. Who proposes like this?
"Alex it's not about wanting I'm still not quite sure about all this. Don't mind me, you're an amazing person. I just feel like it's too much too soon. I just need a little time to process all of this, I'd like to discuss it with mom first." I told him truthfully whatever I was feeling.
I know you'll be thinking what a fool I'm not accepting his proposal right away, but think it from my perspective, I just cried over him a lot the other day, when he wasn't my anything.
I'm just scared that what if one day he decides he had enough what would happen to me? Would I be able to pick the pieces of my shattered heart? Would I be able to survive?
"If you could just give me some time, I would like to think it when my head isn't overcrowded." I plea before him.
The sensible, responsible man that he is, he just simply nodded.
"But you would let me finish this right? You won't kick me out just yet?" He asked in a joyful voice, going back to joking with me.
Nodding "Yes you can," I answered.
He didn't mention marriage after that we simply spent some time asking each other about our routine and habits.
Time went by and it was 8 pm already, looking at his watch Alex suggested that he should be getting going as he has to be somewhere.
He was putting on his shoes when I excused myself and went to pack him the leftover lasagne.
"Here, for you" I handed him the box, the joy on his face was worth it.
"Have I told you yet, that you're the best," thanking me he took the box and kissed me on the cheek?
I think with an inhaler I need to start keeping a hand fan too. Heat quickly rushed to my face and I was too shy to look at his face to see what he was feeling.
"I would need the container back though," I instead commented.
He laughed loudly while opening the door. Giselle took that moment to come out her door, the way she kept looking at Alex I wanted to make him disappear.
"Hey, I'm Giselle her neighbor," she introduced herself quickly to Alex, pointing at me. I'm can guarantee you she doesn't even remember my name.
Shaking her hand Alex smiled and introduced himself.
"I have never you seen here before, although Karen and I are great friends," Giselle said and I wasn't even angry that she forgot my name I was angry because she was literally shooting her shot right in front of me.
"He's my fiance," I said before I could stop myself. Alex raised his brows at that and smirked although he didn't say anything else.
It was worth it because the way Giselle's face just dropped was amazing.
"You, hers?" I think she has a few loose screws in her head because she asked again facing towards Alex and pointing at me, accusation and disdain clear in her voice.
This woman but before I could do anything Alex just grabbed me by the back of my neck and kissed me hard on the lips.
My world stopped for a second and started rotating on its axis. Am I dreaming, clutching his arms for support I lean towards him, he tasted of bubblegum and something sweet? Like chocolate.
Kissing him felt like I was finally able to breathe again, a current was going from my head to toe. I now remember what they used to say about him during school, he could kiss a dead fish to life and I think they were right.
He bite my lower lip once before letting go, gasping for breath I looked into his eyes, how was he not breathing hard like I was?
"Yes, I'm hers," he told Giselle but he was looking at me.
Boy, he's going to be in some great trouble.