"What does he think of himself, showing up uninvited and rejecting all the outfits as if he's the one who's going to wear them,"
"No sense, no judgment, brainless totally barbaric,"
"I'm telling you if you need a dress you should come shop with me alone, we could find a much decent dress in less time and at an affordable price,"
"What do they think of themselves, charging an arm and a leg for few scraps of cloth ugh,"
"Kara, are you even paying attention?"
"Hmm, oh yes,"
Attention and me? I'm definitely paying more attention to that kiss than I should. It wasn't even a proper kiss just a peck on the cheek.
But here I am reminiscing it in detail.
Raising my hand I touched my cheek once more, subtly of course, and was transpired back to that small cubicle they called a changing room.
I was hurt broken no doubt, seeing Betty was one thing but having witnessed her absolutely rocking that red dress was a lot to take in.
So, I did what I'm known for I chickened out and run to take cover behind the door. What I didn't expect was how drastic a turn my day would take, where I was an anxious and nervous wreck the whole time now I'm as happy as I could get.
It was then I realized that you can get homesick even for people. And I'm 100% homesick for Alex, for his calm nature, his presence of mind, and most importantly his kisses.
"I sure would teach him a lesson next time we meet,"
Turning my head sideways I pay attention to my best friend, who might I add is quite vexed and is now retorted to mumbling to himself. Whatever might be the issue I need to know.
"You okay?" turning towards me with a dramatic flair he just stares at me as if I just lost my marbles.
"You are asking me this? You don't have a dress, I mean you could've one if not for that man of yours. How could you let a man decide for you more importantly how and why were you completely silent the whole time where was your ability to speak. And if this wasn't enough you got us late to work now."
His voice was rising higher with each passing minute.
"You are angry because I don't have a dress?" I put up one finger.
"Because I let him decide," another finger went up.
"I was silent?" the third finger went up.
"Or because we're late for work?"
"All of the above, but especially because of no.2 and 3," he said without a pause.
Now that I put a little thought into it I too am wondering why exactly was I silent? It was supposed to be my dress, I need to make sure whether it was comfortable, do I even want to wear a dress, the color, the design.
Everything. I needed to decide.
But why then? It wasn't that I think that men are wiser than women. No sire! Not at all. I think women are more sensible, smart, intelligent, and have greater potential than men.
Could basically do everything that they can and more so while bleeding but I think I couldn't actually preach what I think.
Disappointed is what I felt now.
I literally left down feminism, women in general and this wasn't sitting well with me I need to do something to rectify this situation quickly. I need to show Alex who's in charge, who would rule.
Yes, I would show him the next time we meet.
Stopping abruptly in the middle of a crowded road I gave Matt a hug, not only because he deserves one but because he awakened that sleeping feminist inside me.
"What are you doing, people are looking,"
"What does it seems like I'm hugging you,"
"But it's not necessary right now, Kara let go, Oh hey pal," Matt stood there like an awkward statute stiff and not reciprocating the hug, waving random strangers off.
What an ungrateful friend, I was about to free him of his misery but instead tightened my hold on him a little bit more and stood for a solid minute.
"Thank you and I love you," eventually letting him go I started my walk back to the office.
When I didn't feel his presence I turned around only to find him rooted to the same spot where I left him, strange guy, if you ask me.
"Hurry up will you," motioning him to follow me I raced forward.
________________________
"Ugh, just one more, one more a little faster and then done for the day,"
"You could do it,"
"Yes come on Kara,"
You would be wondering what's going on, trust me I'm trying to understand this for the last 45 minutes myself.
"Ahh, I'm coming,"
"Make way, move"
Collapsing on the bench, panting hard I accepted the water bottle Emily was offering.
What do you think was going on? I'll brief you, don't worry. I'm running.
Yup, and enjoying every minute of it, enjoying every minute cursing my lazy ass to not having any semblance of control whatsoever when it comes to food.
If only I'd maintained this weight of mine from the start I won't be trying to run. Trying, being the operative word here because I kept taking breaks in between.
"How..." panting loudly "did..." gulping down one huge sip of water "I do," I asked Emily.
"You did great Kara," she clapped her hands excitedly.
"You think so?"
"Yeah, you even ran faster than me," she had a dream-like expression on her face.
That is not a lie, I did run faster than her I practically was ahead of her even if I speed-walked because firstly she is a smoll human, with little legs that could've never outrun my long legs.
And secondly, because she is a cute little 12 year old. With big blue eyes hidden behind thick-rimmed glasses, which she kept pushing back on her tiny button nose. Short curly black hair which she has secured in 2 space buns on her head.
Petite with olive skin and cute frickles scattered around her cheeks. One look at her and I instantly fell in love.
"Thanks," I smiled softly at her and then emptied the whole bottle in one go.
"I think that's for today bub, I won't be able to move another inch now," pinching her plumped cheeks I wipe the sweat on my forehead with the back of my sleeve.
You thought I won't stay loyal to my promise of getting in shape? Ha, you wish. I really do need to get in shape before the engagement, I know I don't have much time left but hey, better late than never.
"There's my driver, I'll be going to see you tomorrow, right?"
"Of course sweety," waving Emily off I leaned back a little on the bench. I watched her go, a spring in her step.
She reminds me so much of Maya, or maybe that's just the elder sibling instinct that wants to adore on anyone younger than me. That was one of the reasons behind Matt and my friendship too.
I normally would never like ever go and start a conversation and that too with a minor. I occasionally avoid talking as much as I can but something about her compelled me to just go and introduce myself.
Maybe it's her eyes or the way that she talks or how she tilts her head ever so slightly to the left when you're talking that she reminds me of Alex.
I know, I know I really need to stop thinking so much about him that he becomes the sole reason for my friendship with someone but even I can't ignore the uncanny resemblance between them.
But apart from their physical appearance nothing else was similar between them, where he is a pompous ignorant too good for anyone ass, she was a complete sweetheart.
We instantly hit off after my initial shyness, yes my shyness. She was a power to reckon with. Not only did she encourage me during my failed attempt at running she kept me entertained with her stories as well.
And that was how I managed a hard 40 mins on this track.
Sighing deeply, I motivated myself to complete my 5 min walk back home. Looking down at my throbbing shins I cried inwardly, patting myself on the back I try to tell myself it will be worth it.
So worth it.
"Just my luck,"
"Damn these awful machines that won't operate when you need them to," kicking once more at the closed elevator door, I cursed and made my way to the stairs.
I was a panting, sweating mess by the time I reached my floor, grabbing hold of my sides I gulped in huge amounts of oxygen.
"Oink Oink," Giselle pushed past me and remarked all the while plastering an annoying smile on her face.
I get what she is referring to but I won't give in to her cheap tactics, the blow she got from Alex was more than enough for her ego.
Ignoring her I regained my composure and quickly made my way to my apartment. A quick steaming shower and a hot meal is what I require after such a tiring day.
I basically deserve it.
I haven't straightened properly when there was a knock on the door, I swear to god if Giselle so much as made another comment about my weight I'll teach her a lesson.
Clearing my throat, I pushed back my flyaway hair, maintaining a perfect composure I opened the door only to wish I haven't.
It wasn't enough that not once but I've embarrassed myself twice today in front of him, that God thought no third times the charm.
Stood the man I simply can't get out of my mind. In a black formal suit, hair styled back with just the right amount of gel, a sky blue shirt with the absence of a tie, and a white pocket square.
My throat was parched, it was becoming a feat to even swallow my own saliva, I quickly scanned behind him to check if Giselle was still present but thank god for small miracles she was not there.
Grabbing hold of his hand I dragged him in, closing the door behind him I ask him what I should've asked the moment he came.
"Hmm, what are you doing here," looking so fine and sexy as hell I wanted to add, but I didn't voice my thoughts out aloud.
But it seems he wasn't in the mood to answer because he was looking at me with a weird expression on his face, probably thinking how did he end up in this situation with me.
"What were you doing?" his voice sounded as if you were rubbing two sandpapers together, that was how rough his voice sounded, I shouldn't react but my body still did, it was covered in goosebumps instantly.
He kept roaming his eyes around my apartment, but he wasn't having any success because apart from the moonlight streaming in through the windows and the bulb in the hallway the apartment was pitch black.
"Why is there no light on?" without waiting for my answer he moved and turned on the lights, the room was suddenly too bright, my eyes needed a moment to adjust to it.
"Where are you coming from?" he asked keeping his eyes on the keys in my hand.
For god's sake, woman speak will you, he asked you a few dozen questions. But like me, my mind and my ability to speak went on leave whenever he's near.
Looking at his raised brow, I shuffled the questions he asked and chose the one I was going to answer.
"I was running," why am I telling him everything, he doesn't need to know.
"I was running some errands," I clasped my hands awkwardly.
"Hmm..." his majesty acknowledged with a solemn nod.
"Here, get dressed quickly we need to go," handing me a shopping bag, which I missed noticing earlier he took hold of the tv remote and sat.
Quickly peeking inside, I noticed something wrapped elegantly.
"Go where exactly? As far as I'm concerned we didn't have a plan," or did we? I don't remember agreeing to go anywhere with him.
"We have a plan now, I know it's last-minute but we need to attend a party, together as a couple," he said this all while craning his neck backward and maintaining awkward eye contact.
"What party and what's this?" I shake the bag for the emphasis.
"A friend felt like throwing a party, the bag contains your dress,"
Some friends he has.
"I think I might find something inside my wardrobe you really didn't have to buy me a dress," that too in the wrong size.
"It is a formal event, you'll like the dress," he smiled.
"Who's going to be there?" my anxiety was kicking in full swing.
"People Kara and now go get dressed," he moved back to his previous position all the while rubbing his neck.
People and parties just aren't my scene, I'm bound to feel left out, I would know no one there, he'll get busy with his friends what am I going to do. I was in this dilemma when I heard his voice.
"You're still here, go you'll enjoy yourself,"
Looking at him then at the bag, I shrugged my shoulders what's the worst that could happen? If push comes to shove I could always play COD.