"Ahh, these bloody heels," sitting at the very far corner, where the entrance and the dance floor were clear to me but no one can really spot me, I took off my heels and hid them under the table.
Taking hold of my feet I was massaging them slowly as much as I can manage while sitting upright and trying my best to not attract any attention towards me. Alex and I danced to a total of 5 songs. Yes, I counted.
To the naked eye, it would seem more like he was holding a sack full of potatoes and simply standing in the middle of the dance floor but to us, it was dancing. Dancing that involved a lot of inappropriate groping but thank god there weren't children present to witness.
Because they weren't invited.
Now that I mentioned the invitation, there were some invited who still aren't here. I am talking about my parents and Matt. Putting my feet down I looked for the clutch I need to call to check where are they? Lucy, Chris, and Chloe arrived a while back.
Putting my heels on I looked around for Ben, he had my clutch and the phone. I saw him a while back by the windows engaged in a heated argument with Adrian. I hope everything is alright.
Leaving the strap open of my heels, I supported my weight on the table and stood up. Where is Alex when I need him?
"Hey, hey where are you going?" Adrain rushed forward and blocked my view.
"Have you tried the chicken dumplings? Alex told me you liked them a lot,"
"I'm not hungry,"
"Why not? Excuse me, sir, please serve here," Adrian waved a waiter over, although I was a little hungry right now I wasn't in the mood to eat anything.
"Adrian it's okay, I really need to check up on my..."
"Alex is with some of the business associates, he sent me to look after you,"
"I was going to check up on my parents, they aren't here yet,"
"Why don't you sit down I'll see where are they,"
"Ben has my phone," There were a lot of expressions coming and going on his face. One minute he was anxious, then scared and then he was literally sweating.
"Are you alright Adrian?" pushing him a little I forced him to sit down but he wasn't budging.
"No, I think I am fine,"
"Well then I need to go," I tried to move past him but he stood there like a statue, not moving an inch.
"Ah, look you can't go now the food is here," Adrian said and got busy putting down the plates with the waiter.
I saw this as an opportunity and quickly made my exit but I think I shouldn't have done that because there, right in front of my eyes was Alex marching alongside Veronica to the dancefloor hand in hand.
I blinked a few times to check I wasn't hallucinating, that it wasn't just my brain playing tricks on me. That my fiance was actually there with his ex smiling and dancing away without a care in the world, without actually thinking about me and my feelings.
I trusted him when he said there was nothing between them now but how much ever I trust him I just can't see him with her or more specifically with anyone right in front of my eyes, when he didn't even bother to introduce her to me.
"What is she doing here?" and most of all with my fiance on the dancefloor. Trying to keep the hurt out of my voice I asked Adrian
"Oh Kara, listen I was here to explain," he literally wiped the sweat on his forehead and pushed his glasses a little back. But I wasn't ready to listen to his explanations.
"Nevermind," I had better things to do, like what I was about to do before he flaunted her in front of me.
Alex and Veronica started a full-blown waltz, literally a waltz right there in the middle of the dancefloor, with Veronica sticking to him like a leech and everybody's eyes on them. They do paint the picture of a completely perfect couple, with her figure, grace, natural beauty, and his charismatic personality, and perfect looks, they are a match made in heaven.
I wasn't one for confrontation or excessive drama and these bitter thoughts so I wasn't going to scratch her eyes out or burn his arms that are holding her close, however much I want to.
"Kara listen," Adrian stepped a few steps back, what does he thinks I am going to do? Attack him? Looking around I found most of the people were watching me and the happy couple without any shame.
Waiting for my move. Waiting for me to unleash the inner bitch they all see me as. I even saw a few girls laughing to themselves, they could be discussing something personal but right now whichever way I look I feel all eyes on me and fingers pointing. How did this evening take a turn for the worst?
Alex had to pay for this later, I really need to find dad right now. I need his arms around me and his comforting presence.
"Where's Ben?" keeping my voice as neutral as I can I asked Adrian. No point ruining my mood further.
"I'll call him," Adrian took out his phone but I spotted Ben at the entrance with a phone to his ear and face so white he might've seen a ghost.
"Nevermind, I saw him," not waiting for a reply from him I marched forward with my head held high. I'm not the one doing anything wrong, besides he can dance with whomever he wishes, what's the worst that could happen? People will get another reason to discuss me, so what? I'm used to it by now.
Good thing the reporters weren't allowed inside, I can only imagine the kind of things they would write.
"Did you see how his eyes sparkle when he looks at her?
"The love he still has for her?"
"Yeah, if it wasn't for Raven they would've been happily married right now,"
"I heard he left her for that fat woman he is parading on his arm, what's her name again?"
"Kara something?"
"I heard her Veronica's father is funding his latest business project,"
"Is he still?" the two gossipmongers were now onto the kind of money they have, me long forgotten.
I wanted to tune out their voices, put my hands over my ears to not let their talk put me down but I couldn't control myself comparing myself to her. I stole one glance towards them. They did look happy together but he isn't marrying me out of pity, is he?
What about all the little gestures, the things he has told me, the way he looks at me. They can't be a pity. Touching the chain he gifted me today I made up my mind to demand answers from him tonight. I would give him the benefit of doubt and a little piece of my mind, cracking my knuckles I made my way towards Ben.
"Excuse me, Ben," I waved my hand in front of his eyes to get his attention. He looked quite scared. I hope everything is alright. Is he worried about my seeing Alex and Veronica together too? Did he put Adrian after me?
Forcing a smile on my face I cleared my throat to get his attention. I noticed my phone in his hand.
"Hey, Alex gave you my clutch and phone I need it back," forcing a smile on my face I brought forward my hand and looked where my phone and clutch were in his hands.
"Kara, don't get mad," his voice was quivering as he pulled a hand down his face.
"If you're talking about them," pointing my thumb in the direction of the happy couple I said, "You need not to worry I just need my phone,"
"Come here," taking hold of my upper arm Ben dragged me outside in the garden, far away from the crowd and noises inside.
"Ben slow down," my heels kept digging in the ground and I was afraid I might fall down if he won't stop dragging me like a ragdoll.
"Sit down," he practically threw me at the bench hidden behind the large trees. I don't know but his behavior was a little odd right now and I don't trust him, Alex's best friend or not, he's a complete stranger to me.
"Why don't you just return my phone," standing up from the bench I raised my voice a little, I looked around to see if anyone was present just in case I need to holler someone.
Raking his hand through his hair he took in a deep breath and loosened his tie all the while pacing back and forth in front of the bench.
"Listen, Kara, you need to sit down for this," taking hold of my shoulders with both his hands he pushed me down on the bench this time a little gently.
All this suspense is getting a little too much for my sleep-deprived already frustrated brain.
"What's the issue, Ben?" I tried to stay calm, I don't want to give him any reason to pounce on me with a knife or gun, although he doesn't give off the serial killer vibes I'm still not sure.
"I know we only just met," where is he going with this?
"And I had no right to answer your phone but it was ringing continuously and you were with Alex on the dancefloor and I couldn't reach you," he took another deep breath and paced a little more.
"Who called?" ignoring me he continued with his pacing.
"Ben, who called? You're making me nervous," I asserted a little more force in my voice this time and stood up from the bench.
The weather took a turn for the worse too the sun hid behind the heavy curtain of clouds and the winds started blowing loudly sucking all the happiness with it, shivering a little I moved behind Ben and put my hand over his shoulder and forced him to turn around.
"Ben is everything alright?" I needed to shout a little to make him understand me with all the noise of an upcoming storm behind me.
"I don't know how to tell you this," his voice cracked a little at the end, his shoulders sagged further. Swallowing his saliva he begin once more to tell me when my phone ranged again.
Not waiting for his response I snatched my phone out of his hands and looking at the caller ID I answered it.
"Matt, where are you guys?" for some strange reason my heart was pounding loudly I could hear my heartbeat inside my ears.
"Kara, I was..." his voice was breaking making it unable for me to understand him.
"Matt repeat that again I can't hear you," there were a lot of panicked voices at his end. Turning away from Ben I once again took a seat at the bench.
"Kara, just give me the phone, I'll tell you," Ben moved forward but I stopped him in his tracks with a glare.
"Kara there was an accident," Ben and Matt spoke at the same time making it hard for me to understand. But the accident did stand out.
"Shh Ben," putting my hand up I tried to silence him.
"Matt what are you saying? What accident?" my voice sounded strange to my own ears. Blood was rushing to my ears, my heartbeat slowed down to the point where I can count each beat easily.
"Kara, I'm sorry," Why is he sorry? I didn't demand anything that he can't repeat. My brain was somewhere else. It started playing every bad thing I have ever thought could come true. I was shouting for it to stop but like everybody else today my brain wasn't listening to me.
"What do you mean?" Please relieve from this suspense, just tell me. Pull the bandit off at once and let the pain subside.
"Kara honey, your parents met with an accident today on the way," Matt's voice was barely audible but his words kept running inside my head like a broken record. I heard a loud gasp somewhere near me or was it me? I had no idea.
My nails were digging deeply in my palm enough to draw blood, my senses weren't with me and my head was spinning in circles. My arms felt heavy enough that I was struggling to hold the mobile. It has to be a joke, he doesn't know what he is talking about.
"Matt if this is one of your jokes, I swear I won't talk to you again," at this point, I was practically screaming but I don't care. This has to be a joke and a sick one at that.
"I'll send you the location just be here," I heard him crying on the other end and just wanted to grab him by the collar and shake him till he let go of this absurdity. It just can't be true. I was just with them, they were perfectly fine.
I felt like screaming my lungs out, scratching my eyes, pulling at my hair anything, anything just so the pain I was feeling inside would lessen a little.
Suddenly the image of a smiling laughing family crossed my eyes. A cute little chubby baby with fingers so fat they won't close. A dimpled smile, my Maya. Oh god, where is she?
"Ma...ya, Maya where is she?" my throat was closing up, my eyes were stinging and there was nothing I could do. But instead of an answer, all I heard was his sobbing. A vein was popping at the side of my forehead.
Stop it, just stop. I don't want to hear any of this. Suddenly the phone was snatched from my hand and Ben said something but my vision got blurry. It was getting hard for me to breathe, my heart was constricting.
"Kara, get hold of yourself," I looked up at Ben and instantly I felt like laughing, get hold of myself? What does he mean? What am I doing?
"Alex, I need," I wasn't able to complete my sentence, falling down on my knees I buried my face between my thighs and screamed at the top of my lungs. I screamed and screamed until someone pulled my head up and engulfed me in a hug.
The familiar scent and the comforting arms of Alex were what I wanted around me. He would make Matt and others see sense, he would make everything okay, everything back to how it was. He would make my day memorable and happy once again. He would.
Wiping at my tears, he looked at me with such sad eyes that I wasn't able to control the whimper that tore through me.
"We need to get going, Kara," go where? No, bring my family here. Bring everybody back, bring my dad back, he hasn't even seen me today. He hasn't told me how gorgeous I look today, or how no one deserves me. And how proud he is of me.
"Alex, Matt called," another sob tore through me, wreaking havoc on my body. I wasn't able to tell him what nonsense he was spewing.
"I know, I know," engulfing me once more he rocked us. I don't for how long we two sat there but I was aware of the rain pouring down, so the weather prediction was right after all.
Are the clouds mourning with me too? Closing my eyes I further pushed my head inside his chest and tried to calm my sense. It will all be a dream, a bad one and dad would be here soon.