Renard watched the clouds of smoke dissipate against the back drop of the black sky, and he couldn't help but think of one of the drawings Kyrie had made of him. She truly was a remarkable sketcher, it was a bit of a shame that it would never really amount to anything due to her status as a slave. Still, at least she was able to pursue the passion under Mae.
His thoughts had been on Kyrie ever since he'd come across her spying on the carriage in the garden that afternoon. The anxiety she felt over Isaac's absence had been so obvious on her face, and for some reason it had made Renard want to tease her. There was no malice or jealousy driving his actions though, Renard didn't have nearly so much of a problem sharing his lovers as his friend did. Still, he had to admit that he could really do with a good dose of Kyrie. Spending time with her just felt so liberating, and while Vivian was trying real hard to get Renard to see her the same way, it just wasn't the same.
After all, Vivian still didn't even know that Renard smoked.
It felt like there was still so much to tackle with Vivian that he could hardly imagine where he should start. It's not that he had any complaints with what she was doing, but it did make spending time with her a little more stressful. It was as if she was expecting something more from him every time they interacted now, and he had a hard time balancing that weight with the usual levity of their interactions. Honestly it was a bit exhausting; it just flew in the face of everything that he'd carefully crafted for himself.
He couldn't really talk to Isaac about this, because Renard was sure that Isaac would just encourage him to stick with only Vivian. No matter how much he cared for the woman, he just didn't think she would ever be the only one in his thoughts. Kyrie would probably listen and respond thoughtfully, and so would Dessi, honestly, but Renard's pride prevented him from wanting to approach Dessi. He wanted at least one person that he didn't have to be vulnerable around, and he'd never gone to her for help before on such matters. It just... Felt somehow emasculating to ask an older woman that he had sex with for advice on relationships.
Letting out a deep breath and releasing another puff of smoke up to the stars, Renard quietly fingered a flower that was beginning to bloom near him. The flower itself was beautiful, but something was wrong with this picture. It didn't seem like the plant was in the right place, like it could somehow be put to better use. He just couldn't put his finger on what it was that needed changing though, and he ended up letting out a groan of irritation. Kyrie would probably be able to help here too.
Flopping down on the ground, his view of the stars was completely uninterrupted now as his mind got to thinking about what he'd seen of Kyrie earlier. Not just what he'd seen though, what he'd heard. He didn't exactly go back to work immediately after giving Kyrie the ok to go to Isaac, he had lingered. He had rationalized it as being positioned just right to be able to intercept Jared if he got too close to the stables, but he knew the kid was hiding out in the garden somewhere to avoid having to do any maintenance work. Really he had lingered because he wanted to get a taste, however distant it was, of Kyrie in the throes of pleasure.
She wasn't a loud creature though, even at her loudest it hadn't been much more than what you'd expect to hear from regular talking. Still, he had listened, and even though he'd hoped it would whet his appetite it instead made the ache more prominent in his mind.
He wasn't just aching in his mind, either.
Bringing his free hand down to his crotch, he let out a soft grunt as he gripped the area. He wasn't entirely sure what he was doing, honestly; he didn't really want to masturbate out in the garden like this, but he was clearly wanting some kind of satisfaction.
Removing his hand from the obvious erection, he gave one last breath from the cigar before shifting to put it away. Vivian was bound to be wondering where he was, or was already asleep, and what better way to greet her than with a lustful pounce? Or at least, she would've been delighted by that before, he hoped that this relatively new development with her didn't change that.
Soon though, he had to figure out a good time to get with Kyrie again.
Stalking off towards the house now, he entered into the darkened halls and slowed briefly as he passed by the room that he knew Kyrie and Isaac tended to frequent. After such vigorous lovemaking this afternoon were they going at it again? Or were they simply content to lay in each other's arms this evening? It was really none of his business, but he couldn't seem to push down the rising longing in him for Kyrie again. He'd been patient for long enough, it was time to start angling for another encounter.
Opening up the door to the guest room that Vivian was in, he heard nothing but silence as he slipped in and closed the door behind him. There was no pounce from the sidelines even as he moved further into the room, so he could only assume that Vivian had fallen asleep waiting for him.
Taking off all of his clothes, he then moved over towards the bed. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he could see Vivian's outline still on top of the covers. She was laying on her side and had her nightgown on; no doubt she'd spent some time waiting up for him, but she wasn't an idle woman during the day, she worked hard and the exhaustion had gotten to her before Renard did. Briefly, the thought that he should let her sleep flit through his head, and as he crawled into the bed behind her to wrap his arms around her, he found that the idea was gaining more traction. It felt surprisingly good to just pull her in and soak up the warmth of her body, good in a way that wasn't necessarily triggering his arousal. As he pulled her in, she let out a soft noise against him, turning around to snuggle closer to him.
Renard could feel the relaxation spreading throughout her entire body and if she had woken briefly from his actions it was pretty clear to him that she was falling back asleep already. As he nuzzled his face into her hair, he couldn't help but think how much nicer it would be if she was ok with polygamy. She got so upset when she learned of him sleeping with other women, and Renard just didn't understand it. Though, to be fair, he'd never really tried having much of a serious conversation with her about it. Every time it came up she would just get upset.
What about now though? Now that she was half-asleep and trying to be more open with him?
"Vivian?"
He called her name softly, probing to see if she was awake enough to be able to respond to him.
"Hmm?"
Well it was more coherent than nothing, and if it turned out she was too sleepy for a conversation then there was absolutely no harm done.
"Why do you hate it so much when I sleep with other women?"
He could feel her body tense at the question, but not as much as he might've expected. She was slow to respond, so slow in fact that Renard thought that she actually had fallen asleep again. However, that theory was quickly debunked when she spoke, though her voice did have a huskier quality to it due to her exhaustion.
"Because I love you..."
"But the fact that you love me doesn't change if I have sex with someone else."
"I-it doesn't... But it's because I love you that I want to keep you to myself."
"Well isn't that a little selfish?"
Vivian turned to nuzzle her face up into his in response to that, and he could feel that she had her eyes clenched shut, and her lips were trembling with emotion.
"Is it so wrong to be selfish? Don't you have things you don't want to share?"
His mind flit to his forays into the garden at night. Those had been things that he hadn't wanted to share, it was why he'd been so angry when he found out that Kyrie had been watching him. At the same time though... It had felt surprisingly good to have someone that he could share these things with. So on one hand, he could understand the impulse, but on the other, he'd never been particularly disappointed by sharing.
"It's not wrong, I suppose. But it might feel unexpectedly good to share something that you didn't want to. Isn't that how it is when we're upset and finally let out our emotions to someone else?"
Her lip trembled even more at this, and she whimpered softly at him, which prompted him to softly kiss the side of her cheek and press his face against hers until she let out a weak reply.
"It's never felt good so far."
"That's because you keep fighting it... The more you choose to hate it, the worse it'll feel for you."
Moving one of his hands up to cup the side of her face, he gave the other side of her face another soft kiss.
"I know you don't hate Dessi, as much as you say you do, and yet you've convinced yourself that she's a villain because she's shared a bed with me. Isn't that cheating yourself out of happiness?"
"I-I don't--"
Vivian was trembling in his arms now, and he suspected that he'd reached her limit with this conversation. Turning her face a little more, Renard gave her a slow and sensual kiss, letting it linger until her shaking had stopped. He kept it going for a little bit longer than it needed to, but when he pulled away he could just feel how much Vivian had appreciated it.
"Regardless of who else I share my bed with, you will always be an important part of it, Vivian. I hope you never forget that."
The statement left an ultimately warm feeling in her chest, and she once again wiggled her body closer to his. The way Renard put it, it seemed so simple for her to accept him sleeping with other women. Yet, it still just didn't sit right with her. Consciously what he was saying made a lot of sense, but emotionally she just couldn't stand it. Still, this was the first time they'd really had more of a conversation about it aside from her crying about it and him adamantly refusing to change. … It felt really nice, honestly.
Vivian let out a bit of a shaky sigh as his hand returned to her back, and her own hands moved to gently rest around his torso.
"I love you."
This came out as a soft murmur on her part because she was quickly sinking back into sleep now that this good feeling had washed over her. She didn't even try to wait to hear Renard's response; she was out before she'd heard anything at all from him.
She was heavy in his arms once more, and Renard knew that there would be no more talking to her this night. Giving her another soft kiss to the cheek, he then curled up around her, breathing in her scent as he closed his own eyes. This was good though, perhaps through getting closer to Vivian he could get her to come to terms more with his style of love. She'd seemed receptive enough this evening, in any case. Perhaps then he'd be able to have sex with Kyrie without having to neurotically hide like Kyrie would insist on right now.
There was still Isaac, though.
Even if he got Vivian more accepting of it Isaac was going to be a whole ordeal. He really didn't even want to think about it, so for now he would focus on what he could do: try to convert Vivian and find a good opportunity to spend some time with Kyrie again.