Kyrie's avoidance tactics had elevated to a new level now that Isaac and Vivian were gone.
Every time she poked her head outside she was careful to check everywhere around in all the windows before emerging from the house, and at dinner Kyrie hardly said a word. She barely even said anything to Dessi. Dessi had the good sense not to address Kyrie much, but Renard still kept trying. Kyrie could see the frustration burning behind his smile though, and she could still see it even after Dessi had inevitably drawn his attention back to her which Kyrie was grateful for. Maybe it was because she'd seen his anger before that she was able to recognize it better, or maybe it was all just in her head... Either way, it made her nervous, and more often than not it also made her leave the dinner table early.
She just had to stay busy. That was the best solution.
Kyrie went about all of her chores with a renewed vigor. It wasn't that she ever slacked off in her duties usually, but now she was trying to find every little detail that she could possibly work on. If she was ever idle her mind got to thinking, thinking about Isaac and Renard, and running in terrible circles until she felt guilty and lustful and awful.
So here she was in the guest rooms a couple days after the entourage had left, polishing all the rooms to a shine in her frenzy. Her path was only interrupted when she practically bowled over Dessi in her rush to get to the last few rooms.
Kyrie's eyes widened in surprise to see the older woman here, and before Dessi could really say anything, Kyrie was stammering out an apology.
"Oh! Oh I'm sorry, Dessi. I didn't realize you were up here."
The younger girl looked more than a little out of sorts as she furtively glanced over her shoulder. There was nothing in the hallway, of course, but the fact that Kyrie was nervous even inside the house said a lot about her state of mind. Dessi narrowed her eyes a bit at Kyrie's overall demeanor but for now she didn't say anything about it.
"It's fine, I was just finishing up. Which rooms have you done already?"
As Dessi shifted the duster in her hand to put it into her armpit facing backwards, Kyrie almost distractedly spoke her piece.
"Well... All of them in this direction."
Kyrie gestured down the hall in the opposite direction Dessi had come from, and Dessi's expression turned to surprise.
"All of them?"
The incredulousness in Dessi's voice turned Kyrie's attention back to Dessi, and she looked a litlle sheepish as she responded.
"Y-Yes... I went straight to the rooms after taking a turn with the animals in the menagerie. For some reason I thought I was the only one that would be working on them so I was trying to move quickly."
Dessi simply shook her head with a little chuckle.
"Goodness girl, you have got a fire lit under your butt. You don't have to be so meticulous about everything when Lady Dandridge is away; there's no one here but us!"
"I suppose. I like to keep busy though."
Kyrie's voice was small as she said this, and her eyes slowly turned down. Now that Kyrie was idling, she was starting to fidget with her duster. There was silence from Dessi now, and when Kyrie chanced a look up at the older woman she was staring back at her rather exasperated. Suddenly the urge to run away flickered through Kyrie's limbs, but before she could follow it, Dessi grabbed her and pulled her into the guest room that she'd been coming out of when Kyrie practically ran into her. Kyrie bit her lip, but didn't particularly try to fight Dessi. Though really... Maybe she should've... She knew now that she was caught, and she had no doubt that Dessi was going to sit her down and make her spill her heart out again.
Sure she had felt better after she'd done it the first time but... But she still couldn't bring herself to want to trouble Dessi with her own problems, or even tell anyone about them. They were just... so shameful and awful...
"Come, sit with me. We've earned ourselves a bit of a break, I'd say."
Kyrie mumbled her consent and her shoulders slumped. Yes... She was caught. Caught pretty firmly and completely. As Dessi set her down in a chair and moved to sit across from her, Kyrie refused to meet the other woman's gaze: she was staring fixedly at the duster that was now in her lap, trying hard not to fidget some more.
"How are you holding up?"
The question caused Kyrie to flinch, and she bit at her bottom lip again. Dessi was clearly waiting on an answer from her, but she still felt reluctant to speak. Especially so because they would be speaking under the light of day. It felt somehow wrong to be talking about this so calmly outside of a complete breakdown, and Kyrie wasn't even really sure that she wanted to understand where her head was at with this whole fiasco with Renard.
In the end though, Kyrie hung her head in defeat.
"Not well... I miss Isaac and Vivian, but most of all I'm scared that Renard's going to approach me again."
"It's not that big of a deal you know, it's an easy matter to just tell him no."
Was it really so easy though? Kyrie didn't make a verbal response to Dessi's comment, but her face certainly scrunched up. Even if she was able to say no to him, would he actually listen to that? Probably not... Not if her body reacted the same way it had last time. … Would she actually be able to tell him no though? They shared a secret together, and somehow that made it feel like any protests she might have weren't valid. There was something keeping her from outright rejecting him and she really wished that she knew what it was. Shaking her head to try and get the thoughts out of it, she ended up covering her eyes with her hands to rub them and hide herself.
"It's not that easy though..."
Her words came out in a muffled mumble, but Dessi caught them anyway. As Kyrie struggled not to cry, Dessi was silent for a few moments. When she spoke again her words felt especially measured, as if she was beginning to see through Kyrie's resistance to reveal the desire within. Or at least, that's what it felt like to Kyrie: Dessi always had been frustratingly perceptive in pretty much everything. She was no Lady Dandridge, sure, but she was certainly much better than the rest of them.
"Kyrie, it is that easy. What you need to do is quit running away from Renard and actually sit down and talk to him. It's pretty clear to me that continuing to keep this as a secret is doing nothing but making you miserable and making him more determined. I know you feel bad about what you did, but you have to tell the others about this, and properly talk to Renard about it. It's only going to get more painful the longer you delay having these talks."
The look that Kyrie gave Dessi then was one of complete and utter horror.
"B-But Dessi, what if he tries to push me down again while I'm trying to talk? And... And what would I even say?"
There was also the concern of having to tell Vivian and Isaac about it, but that one was of lesser importance for Kyrie at the moment considering they weren't here.
"He won't if you make it clear that you want to have a serious talk with him first. Tell him how you feel about what happened. Be as open with him about it as you have been with me."
"As open?"
Kyrie cut herself off at this, completely dumbfounded by this suggestion. No way could she be so open to Renard about what had happened. She didn't even fully understand what had happened herself! Telling him about it would only make things worse because then he'd know, he'd know for sure that she didn't hate it! What if he twisted things around in such a way that the things she thought so wrong actually weren't? He was so much more eloquent than she was, would she even be able to properly convey her thoughts to him?
"It's not going to work. Talking to him about all this... I don't think it will change anything."
Kyrie actually had no idea whether talking to him about it would change anything, but what she did know was that she really didn't want to confront him. In her mind, every scenario she could possibly think of ended badly for her. Isaac had spent so much time telling her what a flirtatious beast Renard was that Kyrie's conscious perception of him was that. It was why when she first saw him in the garden she had been so surprised and fascinated. As flickers of him in the garden passed through her mind though, she wondered if he really was just going to pounce her if she tried to approach him about this subject. Renard wasn't just a beast in heat, but it was so much easier to avoid him if Kyrie thought about him that way.
While Kyrie struggled with these thoughts, Dessi silently scrutinized her for a few more moments.
"I'll tell you what, Kyrie: you are going to have a talk with Renard. I'm not going to wait for you to start it either. What I'm going to do is sit us all down for dinner tonight, and then I'm going to bring this whole debacle up. You are not allowed to be mysteriously absent for dinner and I'll be there to facilitate the conversation; I'll make sure that Renard doesn't pounce you, and I'll also make sure that you properly say everything on your mind. Is that clear?"
For a moment Kyrie was too shocked to make a response. When Dessi's words finally began to sink in, all the color drained from Kyrie's face. Her voice took on a pleading quality then, one trying to appeal to Dessi's compassion instead of her logic.
"P-please, Dessi. This isn't something you need--"
"Yes it is. And you know that it is. What you two did is only a big deal because you did it in secret; if both of you had been upfront with all parties involved this would never have given you so much grief. I can't have you two talk to Isaac and Vivian yet, but what I can do is have you talk to each other, and I'd say that's a good first step."
Effectively silenced by Dessi's words, Kyrie just didn't know what to do. Every fiber of her being told her to run away, but where would she even run to? Dessi could easily just find her and drag her to dinner, and she certainly wasn't going to leave the manor. She was trapped, and she could do nothing but dread what was to come.
Dessi let out a soft sigh to see just how scared Kyrie was, and she reached out a hand to gently touch Kyrie's shoulder. The younger girl barely registered the touch, which just caused Dessi to furrow her brow.
"Kyrie, everything will be ok. I'll be right there with you for support if you need it, and you'll feel so much better after talking to Renard."
"... Promise?"
The barely uttered question from Kyrie was so childlike and vulnerable that Dessi's face melted into a sympathetic smile.
"I promise."
Helping a rather numb Kyrie stand up then, Dessi engulfed the younger girl in a hug. It took Kyrie a couple moments before she really started to feel the warmth from it, but once she did she snuggled right up to Dessi.
"Come on now, how about you help me prepare dinner? You like to keep busy, and we can figure out what would be a nice treat for this stressful evening. Yeah?"
Kyrie didn't verbally say anything, but she did silently give an affirmation. Gently rubbing Kyrie's back, Dessi slowly pulled away from her only to link arms with Kyrie. The younger's girl's mind was still reeling from all of this, and even as Dessi started walking them towards the kitchen she still couldn't believe what was happening.
What was she possibly going to say? How was talking to Renard going to solve her own problems with desire?
She didn't know the answer to either of these things, but what she did know was that Dessi wasn't going to let her go, and so Kyrie followed after the older slave, still trying to make sense of what was going to happen.