As Kyrie sat out in the garden, she could hear Renard tromping around in the dark of night, doing some more night gardening. She hadn't heard him doing it as frequently as she drew, but it was pretty reliable that once a week he would come out to work on the plants. Kyrie was out here almost every night working on her drawings, and she usually drew until Isaac came out to find her. Sometimes he was busy helping Renard with something in the evening, or it was Kyrie's turn to sleep in the bedroom, and on those nights she usually spent a bit more time out in the garden without Isaac. It was during these times that she sometimes followed Renard any time she saw him out. As far as she was concerned, he remained completely oblivious to the fact that she also spent part of her evenings out here.
Tonight Isaac was going to be rather late, so she knew that she'd be able to observe Renard without being caught doing it red-handed. Lady Dandridge had gone into town for some ball hosted by the royal family and he'd said that she didn't have to wait up for him because he had no real idea when Lady Dandridge would come back. Lady Dandridge didn't usually stay out at social functions too late though, so Kyrie told him that she might still be in the gardens anyway. Plus, she loved to see Isaac happy, and he always lit up so beautifully whenever he saw her. She'd been in the process of drawing that expression of Isaac's when she heard Renard pass her.
Once again, Kyrie hesitated a little before indulging her curiosity, but this time there was a new reason for her reluctance: she still had a hard time getting that encounter that she'd had with Renard at the water pump out of her head. Even though their encounter in the garden had been close to a year ago now, and she'd been careful not get caught out alone again, it still stuck in her mind. It made her hyper aware of Renard and she felt terrible even thinking about him in this way. Now that she was looking though, it was almost as if there was a flirtatious suggestion to his every action whenever he interacted with her. It was entirely possible that he was just being his regular self and Kyrie was simply overreacting, but if she was overreacting then it was all his fault in the first place! Why was he doing this? As much as she told herself that it didn't matter, his words and his touch still came to her mind at times. She just didn't understand it.
Clenching her notebook close to her chest, she blew out her candle and decided to quietly trail after Renard. She felt like the first way to understand why he was on her mind so much was to really contemplate him better. It's not like she was doing any harm by looking, and she certainly didn't have any intentions of taking the man up on his offer to have sex. She had Isaac after all, and she was perfectly happy with him. It didn't matter if she wasn't the happiest she could be, and it didn't matter that she didn't have variety in her sex life. Yet... A deep part of her was curious. It wasn't so much for herself, but she did wish that she could see how others made love. It made her blush to even think about watching others in such a private act, but there had to be differences between different partners. It'd be nice to be able to draw those with a bit more confidence. At least, that's the explanation Kyrie gave to herself about why she was so curious in the first place.
Kyrie stopped when she realized the digging noises were incredibly close now, and she settled herself behind a bush that had a good vantage of Renard beyond it. Once again he had that cigar in his mouth, breathing out smoke as his fingers dug into the rich soil of Mae's garden. He didn't have gloves on or anything, and somehow Kyrie felt like she understood why; he wanted to feel everything that he was doing on his skin, that way he could get a better sense of what he wanted. It was kind of like how Kyrie liked drawing with charcoal more than a paintbrush or something like that. Granted, she really didn't get much of a chance to use a paintbrush, but she imagined she'd just prefer the tactile nature of the charcoal better.
She watched as Renard pulled up a handful of dirt to his face and seemed to take a deep breath of it. His eyes blankly stared off into the distance before he dropped the dirt back where it came and roughly wiped his hands on his pants. Moving over towards a small book that was on a bench that Kyrie hadn't noticed before, he made a note in it before turning back to the plants. It would seem that he was in a much better mood this time around; instead of tearing apart the plants at the roots wit wanton destrucction, he was calmly messing around, for lack of a better term. It was rather nice to see this side of him as well; he really did have so much more charm when he showed more faces than the mischievous flirt.
Kyrie continued to watch as Renard shifted his attention to gently caress the blooms that had begun to show, and for some reason this action caused Kyrie's heart to race.
Looking away for a moment as she brought up both hands to cover her blushing cheeks, she struggled to rationalize just why it was that she was blushing. He'd been looking so tenderly at the flowers, and it made Kyrie wonder if he'd ever looked so tenderly at a woman like that. It was perfectly logical that he would've, but at the same time, Kyrie felt like that was an expression reserved only for his plants. Women weren't necessarily playthings to them, but they weren't an encompassing passion. They would never be viewed with the kind of face that he made just then, at least that's what Kyrie believed. The fact that she had seen it was probably what was causing her heart to race so much then; it was a forbidden little tidbit that he never would've shown to anyone else.
It was these secret moments that Kyrie adored and wanted to see more of, and she once again found her eyes drifting down towards her notebook. Opening the book to the next blank page, she peeked back up through the bush to get another glance at Renard. She almost yelped though, because he was staring right at her.
Covering her mouth and holding her breath to keep from making noise, she watched wide eyed as Renard bent over and took hold of another young bloom in his hand. With the angle that he was looking, it seemed like he was actually giving her that beautifully tender look! Her cheeks burned to imagine herself the recipient of such a gaze, but surely he couldn't see her? She was in the dark on the other side of the bush, she should be shrouded enough to not be noticeable! Besides, he would never give her that look anyway by her own logic! It had to be just the flower that he was looking at.
Still, the blush on her cheeks only got worse as he remained where he was for a good couple seconds, but soon his gaze was turning to the side as he went to go inspect another flower. Letting out a silent sigh of relief, Kyrie decided that had been much too close for comfort.
She was tempting fate by loitering around while he worked in the garden, not only because it increased her chances of being caught, but also because it made her think horrible thoughts like watching other people in the throes of pleasure. Shivering a little from the unwarranted mental images of that, she waited until Renard had gotten a good distance away from her before silently retreating back to the bench that she'd started on.
It felt almost like she was emerging from a den of temptation as she settled back in to her usual spot; no longer was she skulking about in the dark, but now she was sitting openly where anyone could find her. Her heart felt lighter to be unburdened with secrets, but at the same time, there was a part of her that wanted to be back watching Renard. This fact alarmed her, to be frank. Did she want to go back and watch Renard because she just wanted to see his unguarded moments? Or did she want to go back and watch him because it was Renard specifically?
Looking down at her notebook, she gently caressed the lines of Isaac's face on the last picture she drew, the one where he was smiling so brightly at her. Kyrie smiled as well to recall that memory. Surely it had to be the unguarded moments that she was attracted to. Her notebook was full of them: from Raine and Mae sharing a tender moment to Dessi looking exhausted in the kitchen, they all made their way onto Kyrie's pages. There was nothing particularly scandalous, but at the same time, there was a reason she didn't tend to share her drawings with other people. Isaac was an exception, and even then she didn't feel comfortable showing him every one of her drawings. They weren't just her secrets to share...
Leaning up against the back of the bench, Kyrie looked up at the night sky now. Perhaps she should focus more on drawing other things, but it was these passionate unguarded moments that drew her the most. She supposed that it would be a secret that she'd always have to bear. Bringing her charcoal to paper once more, this time it was Renard's turn to make his way onto her pages.