"Blake your father was murdered".
Her words rang in my ears. Murdered? What the hell was she talking about.
She must've seen the confusion on my face, my unwillingness to accept what she had just said because soon her hand was on mine pulling me to sit right beside her on the couch.
She took a deep breath beside me before dragging her fingers through her hair in frustration, "Your mom begged me not to tell you. This is more dangerous than you think Blake. Heather believes that your dad was killed and we've been trying to figure out who did it for the last eight months".
Words had escaped me. Zadia's confession had left me lost in a world of confusion and disbelief. What she was saying couldn't be true.
I didn't want it to be true.
For a second I gathered enough strength to look at her. I didn't want to believe, but I saw something in her eyes that made me realize one thing, she was telling the truth.
I don't know how I knew but I could just tell. She seemed even more torn up about this than I was. The pain apparent in her face was undeniable. It was as if, me being in pain was causing her more pain.
I searched her disposition for any signs of ingenuity but found none. This woman in front of me was not the Zadia that I've resented for the past year. Who I was seeing now reminded me of the Zadia I fell in love with a year ago, the Zadia that was in love with me.
I was angry. Angry that my mom had kept this away from me for years. Angry that she'd turn to Zadia for help instead of me. Anger for so many things rushed through my veins. I didn't want to take out that anger on her. After all, she'd just told me something that changes everything.
My dad was murdered.
I stood up abruptly and I looked down at a panicked Zadia who was still seated on the couch. She reached for my hand but I pulled away and began heading for the door.
"Blake!", she hurriedly got unto her feet and scampered after me, "where are you going?".
I only stopped when she caught up to me and grabbed unto my upper arm.
My jaws were clenched so tightly in anger. But anger toward what exactly. I wasn't really sure.
When I saw the panic and concern in her expression my eyes softened a bit and I tried to calm myself down to talk to her.
"Heather lied to me Zadia, I need to get some answers from her. Tonight".
Her eyebrows drew together then her eyes widened in incredulity as if she couldn't believe that was my plan.
"No offense Blake", she took a step back from me, "but you're stupid if you think that Heather is going to admit any of this to you let alone give you the answers you need. The only reason I found out about your father was because I found the video he left you and your mother needed my help with her plan".
I knew she was right. Which was why I allowed her to pull me away from the door and back inside the apartment. But I was also even more confused now. What video was she talking about and for just now long as she been working together with my mother?
We stood there in silence for a moment before she said again.
"You need to decide what you want Blake. Do you want the truth or do you want to be happy. Heather won't tell you anything about this and you know it. If you want to know the truth I can tell you but it will change everything. Once you know you will be in danger".
This whole rationale was beginning to sound a little too familiar to me.
My anger slowly began to dissipate, here was a woman who was willing to go against everything if I asked her to. But did I really want to know. Was I willing to sacrifice my happiness to know the truth about my father?
I hadn't noticed that tears were streaming down her face now. She was crying. For me?
As I analyzed her carefully I placed a hand on her cheek. Wiping away her tears with my thumb. Her eyes closed immediately and she leaned into my touch.
"I'm sorry", she choked out as she began to sob. I placed my arms around her cautiously. She grabbed unto me tightly and cried into my shirt. I was still apprehensive but my hands tightened around her.
I had thought before that Zadia had lied to me and worked with my mother behind my back to manipulate me and get me to marry her because of the multimillion-dollar company I would inherit when I turned twenty but now I see that this is anything but that.
How could I not have seen it before? I guess it's only clear now that all these secrets have begun to be unveiled. This woman was hopelessly in love with me. I'm sure she never stopped loving me. She would do anything I asked her to. She had let me hate her so that she could help my mother figure out the truth about my father, something that she knew would hurt me. This was the Zadia I fell in love with, she was right here in my arms.
At the realization my arms tightened around her. Pulling her in even closer to my body.
"I do want to know the truth Za. I want to know everything".
And she did tell me, she told me everything. By the end of her confession I was beginning to see Zadia in a whole new light. I felt guilty for hating her all this time since we'd broken off our engagement, considering that she'd been doing nothing but try to help me all this time. She never did betray me as I'd thought but I understood now why they had kept the truth from me. It was dangerous and they wanted to keep me out of it but why did she willingly put herself in so much danger. At the time we had broken off the engagement that was the only way to keep me out of danger. She had distanced herself from me so I wouldn't get hurt, when I was the one who was supposed to be protecting her.
She loved me and I gave up on us so easily. I really was a crappy fiancé
. Granted I didn't know any better at the time.
My head was buzzing with so many emotions. I was confused angry, happy, apprehensive, appreciative and so much more all in one.
"I'm sorry Zadia", my voice broke through the silence, "I should've fought harder for us I shouldn't have given up so easily. If I'd trusted you when you asked me to then we would've still been together I put us through so much pain".
She shook her head frantically as if to disagree with me, "No this wasn't your fault. There was no way for you to know, anyone would've done what you did, after all I was keeping things from you and I didn't give you a reason to trust me".
I took a few steps towards her until I was inches away from her face. Leaning down I pressed my forehead against hers.
"Just promise me one thing", I whispered.
Her breathing hitched as my breath mingled with hers. Her lavender scent engulfed me dragging me in until our raging breaths matched.
"Anything", her voice was barely a squeak now.
I nodded against her before my hands carefully maneuvered their way to her waist holding her gently yet tentatively.
I don't know what I was doing or even if I should be doing this but my next words surprised me more than they surprised her.
"Can I kiss you?".
Her breath caught for the second time tonight and my eyes fluttered closed as I awaited her response with a heart threatening to pound its way through my ribcage.
When she didn't say anything I began to wonder if I'd read the signs wrong. Maybe she didn't want me this way anymore.
But all my thoughts were silence when her hand cupped the back of my neck bringing my lips firmly on hers.
For a second I was completely still and unresponsive but that didn't last long because as soon as I felt her teeth nibbling on my bottom lip all traces of nervousness evaporated from my body leaving only lust, need and a little something else.