Every day just got worse than the other. All I could experience was a constant low feeling. It was only cocaine which kept me alive since she left me.
I have taken a break from school
And I was leither lying on my bed all day Long or crying in the corner of my room.
I got fed up with this cycle of depression and came up with a better idea to end this cycle--
By ending my life....
But I didn't have the nerve to do it. A part of me still said to live and search for happiness.
Then , My only 2 existing brain cells ((which however never function during an exam or while talking to an attractive person)) gave me a brilliant idea. :::
Which is to consult a shaman
And commit $uicide.
(((( A shaman is a type of magician who is known for black magic practices and for his ability to communicate and summon the spirits of dead people )))) .
After death ,If there is really "afterlife" , I will wait and see.
If Im supposed go to heaven , I will forget everything and go to heaven. If I'm about to go to hell , I will already inform the shaman (before taking suicide pills ) to bring back my soul to my body and take me to hospital.
If there's reincarnation without passing through heaven or hell, I will reincarnate happily and step into my next life.
If there's no afterlife at all, and if there's nothing called "spirit" ,
I'm Happy about it either. I will just die and forget that I even existed.