"Ok I'll stop bugging you," Harlow texts with a sad emoji.
"Sorry," I reply, "it's just, I was kicked out."
"WHAT?"
"Call me," I ask.
Harlow does just that. "I don't have a lot of time."
"Ok."
"So where are you staying?"
"My dad's house."
"Really! I haven't seen him in ages!"
"Yeah, I know."
"Are they treating you nice?"
"Oh yeah, I have a sister. Their house is like a mansion!"
"I'm so happy for you."
"How are you doing?"
"I honestly hate this place. But if I'm good, I'll get out of here quicker."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be, it's just a waste of money. When I get out of here, I'm gonna commit!"
"WHAT? NO!"
"Sorry! Not your choice."
Harlow hangs up. How rude! I call them back. They pick up.
"Look, I'm so sorry. I promise I won't say that!"
"Please."
"DANIELA, YOU WERE NOT INSTRUCTED TO CALL AT THE MOMENT YOUNG LADY!"
The poor old lady didn't know how to end the call, so I could hear everything. The slapping of something hitting Harlow, and hard too. They yelped.
"OWWWW! OWWWW! OWWWWW STOP IT!"
"HOW DARE YOU DISOBEY YOUR PUNISHMENT!"
I heard wood moving around and her phone shoved into a pocket. I waited a moment.
"Harlow?"
"Be very quiet! I was shoved into the corner. It's a box with a lock in it. Do not use my name, use my dead name. If I don't make it out of here alive, I'll meet you in heaven."
The call ended. Oh my god. Oh my god! I really hope Harlow doesn't die. I don't think I could live without them. I stare at the "FaceTime ended" screen for a few minutes.
After I plugged my headphones into my phone, I turned on It's Ok by Tom Rosenthal, the slowed down version. Feeling the words. There are many interpretations. I visualize Harlow dead, as I'm looking over her casket. They think I'm angered, but I say, "it's okay, I know someday I'm gonna be with you."
"Mad- I mean Arden!" Dad calls from downstairs.
"Coming," I shout.
"That's what she said," Fay giggled from her room. I grinned.
The last memory I can recall of me and my dad having fun together was when he took me to the amusement park. Boy, was that a trainwreck. My dad carried me on his shoulders. Of course, he and my mom were still together, so her lousy butt was arguing with dad the whole time. He refused to let the argument turn on me. He would ask me, "ooh look at that ride, want to ride it?" Then he would proceed to yell at my mother.
"Hey," dad said as I was walking down the stairs, "your mom -your stepmom- got you this."
"Please," I groaned, heading toward my dad's full hands. "You don't have to buy me."
My dad gives me a stern look, then eyes his new wife. "Be nice." He mumbles under his breath, which smells like black smoke. Has he been smoking?
Without hesitation, I rip open the gift wrap. It was a little basket filled with light green items. Perfume. Teddy bears. Candy. Lip balm. Hygienic products. "Thank you so much!" I cried. She smiled and came up to hug me. She was warm and smelled like lavender. Maybe she really was a good person. Maybe she wasn't like all of the stories I've heard of evil stepmoms. With all of the terrible things that happen to me, I need at least one good thing.
Dad pulls out a cigarette and walks into the backyard. "When did he start?" I ask my stepmom quietly. "A few months ago, I wished he would stop." She answered, staring out the window. "Oh, and call me something weird and funny that only we would understand."
"MAMMA MIA!" my dad shouts, "it's cold!"
I giggle, "that's your name." She laughs and tells me it's perfect. I feel safe around her, and hope nothing abases our friendship.
"So your mom told me you were… gay?" She asks me nervously.
"I am omnisexual," I lick my chapped lips, "and before you ask, it means bisexual with a prefrence."
"For girls?"
I nod and watch dad come back into the house holding his arms. My mom looks like she has something on her mind that she really needs to say but can't quite find the right words to fit.
"I really don't really care what you do, or with who," she tries to comfort me, "but I don't want you to be hurting. You have Fay, me, your dad and Harlow."
Wait. She knows about Harlow. How does she know? What exactly does she know? She didn't call them by their deadname. She knows, I know she knows.
"I know about them," she answers everything, "no need to ask."
I'm pale as a ghost. This is not the impression I needed.
"Your mother is trying to put it out there kindly, that if you don't straighten up then we will be forced to send you away." He nudges my mother's arm. "You have all the freedom you want here. Except, you know… harm."
I roll my eyes and climb upstairs. I heard my mother ask dad if she did a good job, he reassured her she did and wrapped his arms around her from behind. Fay, who is leaned up against the door frame, is waiting with a grin on her face. "That was kinda harsh."
"Yeah," I sigh. "Look, uhm, I'm really tired."
"You do you."