A is for abuse. B is for bruises. D is for depression. N is for narcissists. S is for starving. T is for trauma.
My mom doesn't care about me. I'm pretty sure she is a narcissist. That's why dad left us. When I was like 9, a man offered my mom money to take her daughter for a week. She pushed me into the guy and said, "as long as you need." Then, she took the money gracefully.
They kept me for 6 months. He and his 3 men beat and raped me. They kept me in the basement chained to the wall. They pulled my hair out. Hundreds of strands leaving me with bald spots. Ever since I've cut my hair very short. I still have scars from where they beat me.
"George," I had learned his name over time, "please stop." He slapped me across the face. I collapse to the floor, whimpering. "No food, you bitch." He snickered. He grabbed a bat and started beating me in the stomach. I screamed on the top of my lungs. He stopped after a while. He walked away. I sat there, wishing I could grab my stomach. My nose was wet from all the crying.
His men came back later and undressed. Terrorized, I looked away pouting. It was sad that a little 9 year old like me knows how sex works and even experienced it herself.
My father was in the military at the time. Daniela realized that I haven't been home for a while and messaged my dad. He was furious with my mom. He came home as soon as he was allowed.
My father was never an aggressive man. Then was the only time I wished he would have hurt her like they did to me. When he asked where I was my mom said, "oh yeah these guys are paying me so they can keep her."
"Why? What are they doing to her?"
"Eh, probably raping her," she looked down at her new phone.
"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? DO YOU EVEN CARE ABOUT THE DAUGHTER YOU BIRTHED?"
"She's a real pain in the butt."
"How long has she been there?"
"About 6 months."
"WHAT?"
"Geez, if you care about her that much just take the address."
"I can't believe you!"
He went to George. "I'm here for Madelyn!"
At first, George denied, my dad punched him in the face. "I'm here for Madelyn!" He says a bit louder.
With George's bloody nose, he walked in where I was being raped. My father stopped dead in his tracks. That was when I saw him. Tears flooded in my eyes. I was giving up hope. My mom would never come back, all I had was my dad.
He said nothing. George unlocked the locks that kept me restrained to the wall. Since I was naked, you could see my bones. They hardly fed me. I was ashamed. Though, I did nothing wrong. I put my clothes back on and ran into my dad's arms.
"Please take me home," I begged.
He wrapped his arm around my waist and picked me up over his shoulder.
He turned around, "you are evil people." Then flipped them off.
He took me to his car and sat me on the hood of his car.
"Are you hurt?" He asked. I nodded slowly.
He turned around and faced the building we were in, but he just spun back around.
"It's useless."
I really wanted him to beat them. We drove the two hours home. He wanted to talk to me, but I was weak and he didn't want to disturb me. I fell asleep. When I got home I was carried to my bed.
I didn't sleep well, however, my parents were fighting the whole night.
"I'M LEAVING!" My father yelled, "I CAN NOT BELIEVE YOU."
My father snuck into my room, "Madelyn, I'll come get you when everything is okay."
Now, why would I want to stay somewhere that a monster lives.