Lena had eaten some of the fruits and vegetable they had left in one of the bags.
'So we didn't just crash down.' Lena had figured out looking at the still well looking plants.
After that she headed towards the bed she was resting at. She didn't bother asking Octan anything for now. She was still looking at him in disgust because of the scene from this morning.
Resting her head on the surprisingly comfortable pillow, then covering herself with the, perfectly matching, comfortable blanket, she decides to head to sleep.
...
...
...
...
She can't sleep. The sound of the crackling fire keeps ringing in her ears, disturbing her sleep.
"Can you turn put that out, you're going to burn this place down." Lena feigned ignorance.
"So you can talk." Octan said sighing.
"Don't worry, this place won't burn down from this little fire." Octan said throwing another piece of firewood in.
"Just put it out." Lena said annoyed.
"Did you spend any of your token?" Octan asked ignoring lena.
"No." Lena answered bluntly.
"Why?"
"I was busy."
"Busy? With what?" Octan had showed interest turning around.
"I was having quite the interesting conversation with an older woman." Lena said slightly moving the blanket away from her face.
"That so? And? What did you two talk about?" Octan continued to show interest.
"It was the same woman who had told me where you were at, so I went back to ask her how did she know that. Turns out you two had history." Lena said turning her face to face Octan only to find him back facing the fire.
He had lost interest.
"That so." Octan said in the most uninterested way possible.
"Didn't take you for a hero, sir hero." Lena said mockingly.
"Nor do I." Octan had once again placed all his being onto that crackling fire.
"Saving a mother and her child? I would've never guessed the Octan from then would do such a thing, you sure have taken this 'hero' thing into heart, huh." Lena continued mockingly.
"I'm not a hero god dammit!" Octan shouted smashing his right arm onto the rest chair.
Lena's smug disappears off of her face.
"I do not know what she told you, but I'm no hero. All I had done was for myself and myself only." Octan moved his right palm over covering his face.
"Back then, When that man bowed down. He had begged me to save his wife and his child. Do you know what I had thought of him? A bug. A bug ruining my night. I tried ignoring him and moving away, he persisted. The next time He told me what the problem was, why they were dying, and again I ignored him thinking of him as a bug, once again he persisted. This time, he told me it was something only I can do. Do you know what I felt right at that moment, Lena? It felt good. Understanding that this man's life was basically under my feet. By a whim I could either ruin it or save it, It really did put a smile on my face." Octan turned his head facing Lena.
Lena continued to listen silently.
"I thought to myself 'If I help this dude he might thank me for the rest of his life, Not only that I might even become a kind of god to them.'. Thinking that I immediately agreed. Following him a stupid grin couldn't leave my face, It made me think 'So this is why all those adventuring dumbasses risk their lives.'. I had slumped the entire human race down to my level. Even though I was extremely drunk I still followed this man to 'save his family'. Once we had reached his home, Looking at the struggling woman In front of me. Asking the dude who was there for as much information as fast as possible I treated the woman still extremely drunk. After that I thought to myself 'Hey, If I deliver the baby too they might credit me even more.'. Once the delivery was done, the woman had fallen asleep from the mana treatment I had done, and her husband cried tears of joy while holding her hand. I had asked the man who was there to leave earlier when I decided to deliver the child, So all who was left there was me, a crying man, and a crying child.
I Held that child, I held him as he cried. Looking at him I couldn't but sober up. I intently stared at the child as it continued to cry, I couldn't take my eyes off it. It was the beginning of a human's life, where it will go not a single soul knows, but here, now, It started. And because of me it continued. I felt as if it was my own, after all I had even given it a mana flow the same as mine. Turning away from the child I faced it's father, A man who had given up his pride to save his family. I cursed myself, I cursed the me who had looked down at him, I cursed the me who had done this self-pleasurably, I cursed the me who had lived up until this point. Looking at the family in front of me, I asked myself. 'Just what have I been doing.'" Octan Faced the fire once again.
"They might live to call me 'hero.', But the fact that their kid is even really 'alive' is because of The Zoomorns. He is different He is not like his parents nor his friends. Luckily He is living among the Zoomorn and not the terrans. As I had told you before, The Zoomorns are empathic by nature. They would accept him without batting an eye. While if he was living among terran society with such circumstances, he would only live to hate living. We outcast those who are different, and avoid them out of fear. The real savior is the people around him, not me. All I had done was act selfishly." Lena couldn't see Octan's expression nor could she imagine what it would look like. So all she could do but think of the indifferent expression he would always hold.
"...During that I remembered... There was someone out there, someone whom I had acted for not out of selfishness... Would you guess who that was?" Octan asked Lena without turning around.
"..." Lena said nothing but in her mind she imagined an image of kouko.
"I know what you're thinking, and it's completely wrong. It's not her, not kouko. Actually you couldn't be further from the truth. Don't you remember, Lena? All that I had done for kouko, why was it? Wasn't it to sleep with her? Or did you really not care that much...? It was you. A simple child who did nothing, but follow me around. I could've ditched you at any moment, yet I kept you around. I told myself that it was because of you being convenient, but was that even true? Wasn't keeping a child inconvenient if anything? Every night, as soon as you would sleep, I would leave. I would leave with no intention of coming back, yet the next morning I find myself back there.
Was it the human part of me that wanted any kind of socialization? Or was I pitying the poor orphan treating me as her dad? I do not know. At every town I would leave you hoping you would disappear on your own, yet you would always find your way back to me carrying those heavy looking bags. I treated you unfairly hoping you would just disappear, yet you just took it all without even talking back once. I despised you. I didn't want any of this. I didn't want to give Terrans a second chance. I had made up my mind, so why?" Octan stopped for a moment.
...
"... Finding kouko was perfect I had thought. An airhead with a good body, and even better she was the one who asked to join. I thought if I had treated her better you would disappear, Yet that only backfired. I had experienced 'Love' for the first time. As time passed I couldn't but turn the act into reality, at some point I couldn't stop thinking about spending the next day with such a kind hearted, clumsy woman. Protecting her, guiding her, but that was not what She had thought of me. I first realized that before the day we had rented that room. Do you remember? don't tell me you were acting asleep cause it definitely would be a lie. I had thought things were going perfectly between us, I thought it was time, finally we know each other enough to have a 'good time.'. But... you remember don't you? How she shouted at me and voiced all her complaints. For me it was first, I had gotten used to how indifferent you were to everything I did.
I was so overwhelmed I couldn't help but retreat back to my own tent. The next day I had planned to apologize to her, but she had beat me to it. All I could do was think of how great she was, how great of a person. then the next day, For the first time in god knows how long, With other people. Renting that room was something I thought I would be doing for her, but it too had backfired right back at me. Mixing with people for a whole week, That was such a terrible plan. Watching people spend their everyday lives, watching families enjoy their outings, watching workers earn their living. It all just made me forgot all about my hatred for them, and alongside kouko that only made it worse. It made me think 'maybe they are deserving of another chance.', and you. Looking at how the always silent and introverted 18 year old girl just mixed right in with the children of town. It really made me rethink everything 'Why have I been treating this poor little girl like that...' I questioned myself. That night, we did it, and to say it felt like bliss would be an understatement.
After That I had decided, I wanted to settle down with all of you. I wanted to make a happy little home where we will grow up together. Me and Kouko getting married, and you spending your days freely like a normal girl would. Such simple thoughts gave me the type of happiness a human should feel. But. It was all one sided. One day out of nowhere. I returned home only to find you both had disappeared. A single letter sitting on the dinner table, on it written 'to Hell'. On that letter she described her life, From the moment we met, up to the moment she disappeared. 'Hell would have been colder.' she wrote. She wrote about how she had attempted to assassinate me multiple times in multiple ways, and how each time it would fail. There was apparently a time where she had even bashed my head in with a hammer, only to act like she was brushing my hair when I woke up. I was laughing at myself as I read it, and after that a different me laughed at myself.
The me whom had distrusted Terrans, It laughed at my current betrayed self. I laughed and laughed until I couldn't anymore, so I just shut off. Some time later apparently a raid was happening, the village was about to be destroyed. I thought 'and why should I care?' and continued to ignore them. 'To hell with all of you.' I thought as the monster ripped me and the village apart multiple times.
Again time passed without me knowing how much, and you appeared. As an immortal slug, you found your way right to me. I remembered then, that all of this... The reason I fell in love, and was betrayed. It was all because of you. Had you not carried my bags, had you not followed me, had you not existed, I would have been continuing my journey as the dead corpse I was, but apparently that's not what you had in mind. Instead of me complaining, It was you. For the first time, You were complaining to me, full on shouting and all too. haha... you even kicked me that's right. Then, you had shown a second of weakness. Right as you had noticed my nonaging, I took it, I took that second of weakness and used it. I hoped that you would then never appear in front of me again.
After sleeping again for who knows how long, I woke up with a stupid idea. 'Maybe, if I take out the demon lord it all ends.' I thought as I dragged myself towards the middle lands. Taking a direct path towards his castle and then a direct path into his throne room. I absolutely obliterated him, It was a one-sided massacre, until he had escaped. After that I went to the Zoomorn's dungeon where I had stayed for a while, leaving there at first I did feel empty after the whole family thing, but then, after I had roamed the middle lands and it's surroundings, Fighting monsters and visiting all kinds of places I found myself, Pushing this body to it's absolute limit, It was fun. Fighting monsters on land, in air, or in water, It was all fun. Asserting my superiority definitely helped me after what I had felt in the Zoomorn's dungeon, but something was still missing, someone.
I needed an observer. Someone who would confirm my existence, someone who would confirm my actions... Finding you again... was nice." Octan said turning around with a smile.
"What I'm trying to say is... I understand the value of human life now, And I won't disregard it anymore... I'm sorry Lena, I'm sorry for you and kouko." Octan said with the smile still on his face.
Lena still laying down said nothing and covered her face with the blanket.
Octan then sighed and put out the fire.
"Go enjoy yourself tomorrow. You are your own person, Lena." He said as he laid down on the ground next to the fireplace.
That night, Octan cursed himself to sleep.