The alarm rang at 6 am, and I woke up opening my eyes widely. I didn't sleep much, however that was fine, I would have been surprised if I did. Everytime I had something exciting or important to do, I always feared the alarm wouldn't ring, hence I ended up setting 10 alarms every five minutes and waking up every few hours in the preoccupation I was oversleeping.
I wished for once I could be like all the others 27 years old girls, who allowed themselves to sleep for more than five minutes and not be such a control freak like I was. Before I stood up and walked to open the door, my whole family had entered in like a storm.
My mom pulled her hand in my hair and started to brush it vigorously, while Evelyn headed me a cup of coffee and rushed to open the closet to pull out my freshly new beautiful Oscar de la Renta wedding dress. It costed me half of my salary but every time I looked at it my heart filled with joy and skipped a beat. If a dress made you feel like you were in love then the dress was definitely worth the money.
Carl, my fiancee, always blamed me for the money I spent on my mansion and my haute couture dresses, I recalled he even called me spoiled for that. I had been working for years night and day and since he had never wanted to seal our love with a child I don't think I have other alternatives than spending money on the things I love.
"I can't believe you're marrying." Evelyn's voice made me come back to reality and I panicked for a second when the mirror casted an image of a dark circles eyes girl. My hair was more untidy than the usual.
"I look awful." I said, flinching away not to stare at the mirror anymore.
"You do, luckly make-up exists." My mother replied with her usual nice comments. She placed her hands on my shoulders and pinned me down to sit me at the edge of the bed.
Two hours later, the mirror casted a new image of the same girl, so beautiful that if it could speak it would probably ask me if I was the same person of few hours earlier. My hair was styled in a long braid and my dress emphasized my curves just like a high-priced dress could do. The dress had a v-neck long enough to give it an alluring sensual touch of class.
The time passed so fast that before I could realize it my car was in front of the church.
The music started and my heart's beating synchronized with the sound of the piano, I unconsciously rested my hand on my chest and took deep long breathes controlling the nervousness.
I couldn't believe I was going to marry, with one of the most amazing men I had ever met. I remembered the first day we met so vividly, he was walking his dog in a park and I was walking out of my favorite coffee shop, we bumped into each and my coffee fell on the ground.
Our life as a couple wasn't chaotic, it was simple and normal. We were more like friends than lovers and that's what I loved mostly about him. He worked a lot, just like me, and our lives crossed in the evening when we both came back from work. For six long amazing years, I fully devoted myself to him, soul and body. When I thought about soulmates, I deeply believed his and my name were part of the same definition.
And there Carl was, waiting for me at the altar, hinting a smile and looking at me from afar. My heart speeded when our eyes had met and If I had tears to cry I would cry them all in the second the image of a happy family occurred to my mind.
Ten long steps and our hands entwined together, gazes burning into each other. His hands were cold, shaky but my gaze held his nervousness and I offered him a smile.
The priest started the cerimony and I could feel him squeezing my hand, my gaze was set on the priest and every word he said penetrated in me like a victory. I was finally marrying, the girl who never thought she was able to check marriage on her goals list was finally fulfilling one of her deepest dreams.
The priest joined our hand together, I could still feel Carl's eyes on me so I turned around and smiled to him, hoping it would calm him. My heart melted seeing him that nervous, I didn't know that side of him yet but It only proved me how much he cared and loved me.
"Do you take Carl Anderson as your lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?"
My smile grew bigger, noises of sobs of crying echoed from our backs and my heart jumped at each beat, I can feel every inch of my body shivering in joy.
"Yes, I do." I said confidently, I had never wanted a thing that much in my life.
But as soon as I said those words Carl had retreated his hand, I turned around and he was shaking his head, "I can't," he murmured.
My heart stopped for a second, an excruciating pain gripped over my heart and I could feel it crash in my chest. I even forgot to breath for some instants, I could feel the ground opening under my feet and my knees giving away.
My vision blurried, I blinked twince and swallowed down the panic which was making me lose my senses.
"You can. I love you Carl." I whispered back, the priest glanced at us but he pretended he didn't hear what my boyfriend had said. Oh, how I wished I could pretend too or erase from my mind the gaze Carl was giving me. It was a gaze full of resentment, agony and regret.
The priest continued, "do you take Lily Waldorf as your lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?"
The priest frowned his forehead slightly gawkding at Carl, probably begging him to reply yes.
If my pride wasn't so big, I would drop myself on my knees and beg him to say yes. My heart now was racing so fastly that it almost ached in my chest. Please say yes. Please say you do.
Carl's voice raised, everyone now could hear him, "I can't, I am sorry."
The silence fell in the room, everyone remained silent but my soul screamed so aloud that I could feel the noise of my heart breaking in thousands of pieces.